Nervous about DS' playdate...tips?

[laughymama]

My son is 22 months old, sweet, playful and what I think a typical 2 year old acts like.

His main interaction with other kids has been with kids older than he is. (Typically 3 and up.)

A friend of mine has a 10 month old daughter who recently began walking. She wants to start exposing her to other kids and tomorrow she's bringing her over to play.

I'm a little anxious about this. DS is rough, clumsy and his 'playing' involves pushing, chasing, running..etc. So pretty typical for this age, right?
He understands how to be gentle towards babies but if a baby is walking then to him they're not a baby anymore.

I guess I'm probably over thinking it but my friend her husband tend to be worriers and react in a panic when their DD is hurt, falls or gets upset. They're first time parents so I don't think it's anything that's not normal but I'm just worried that she may get upset if DS does something that's too rough for the little one and then will not want to get together anymore with the kids.

They will be closely supervised of course and DS does understand when we tell him to be gentle or easy but I'm still wary of how it's going to go.

Now that I've typed all this out I think I'm just worrying over nothing. Still though, any advice or tips? I'm hoping the weather will be nice. I live in an apartment and I think the kids will just get cranky being cooped up in a tiny place for too long so I'm thinking maybe we'll just let them run around outside and follow along.

And uh this is going to sound so ridiculous but any babyproofing tips? I never thought I'd forget how to babyproof a home but it's been awhile and I know that although we do have things toddler-proofed that we may need to do a little more tonight since she's only 10 months old and just began walking so she'll want to explore, etc.

And uh...also feel free to tell me that I'm being silly and am worrying too much.

(This friend and I talk daily and have been friends for years. That's how I know how she reacts when her daughter is hurt or fusses..etc. She often calls for advice or just a comforting word. Didn't want to confuse anyone. )

[sapphire_chan]

Plan to get out of the house and away from your ds's toys. Also be ready to tell a social lie like "oh, ds is pretty tired today, we'd better cut this short, great seeing you guys".

Because it could go well, but it sounds like a recipe for disaster.

It's tough enough being the mom of the exuberant older toddler when the mom of the younger kid is understanding and used to scooping her LO out of the way of normal motion.

Um, structured activities could help, does your ds know any songs like itsy bitsy spider, happy and you know it, and such? The 10 month old might be amused by seeing your DS dancing and trying to dance too. Play music and bring out bubbles.

[silybum]

How about just being honest with your friend before anything happens? It is sweet that you are looking out for her DD. Warn her that you're worried your playful toddler may not understand that the baby is still a baby etc and then both of you will supervise, of course. And, as you know, tumbles are par for the course. Even a nervous FTM will learn that soon enough.

[swd12422]

Yeah, I'd say lay it all out for her so she's not surprised. Tell her what you told us -- that your son is an exuberant toddler who's used to being around older kids who push and roughhouse and that you hope she'll scoop her daughter up and let you know if she feels uncomfortable with the activity level. That it may not be a good match for one-on-one playdates until both kids are a few months older (her DD is more able to fend for herself and your DS is better able to control his impulses and be more aware of how much smaller she is and behave accordingly). If she's a good friend and reasonably intelligent, she'll get it, even if she freaks out every time her kid falls down.

Also, I think it will help her to see that if you are concerned about her daughter, but not overreacting (like she falls down and you don't yell, "Oh NO!" but just go to her and say, "You're ok. Is DS too fast?" or something like that) she'll learn to mellow out. (I was that mom at first -- DS was always the youngest, and even now that he's one of the older kids, he's still very small for his age and kids 6 months younger are taller than he is -- and after seeing how laid back the other moms were made me realize it's just not a big deal and something all kids have to learn about...)

[allisonrose]

I think silybum has a great point. Lay out your concerns for your friend and chat it over.

Wish you lived near me - I have a rough-and-tumble 18 month old that could use a playmate.