nightweaning options

[Caterina]

Here's a quick synopsis of where we're at:
DD (17.5 mo) slept in our bed and nursed on demand until about 6 months, then we started putting her down in a crib in our room for naps and until I went to bed, then she'd come into bed with us and nurse as much as she wanted all night, usually 8-10 times. Around 12 months, this became all night - and I couldn't take the stimulation and the wiggling as she changed positions attached to me. She'd cry and wake up if I tried to disengage. We tried to nightwean using the Jay Gordon method at about 14 months, but abandoned it around night 4 as she was obviously not ready. So, I started nursing her in a chair and then putting her back in her crib, bringing her in to bed at around 5:30 for a 2 hour nurse-a-thon. Once she was in the crib, we realized that we were waking her up by turning over etc. and after some trial and error, moved her to her own room down the hall. We are all sleeping a little better now. But she's still waking up 3-5 times a night and wanting to nurse at all wakings...

My DH has had a super flexible work schedule, but is starting a contract for the next 5 months with 60-70 hours/week. We are both going to need to be a lot more rested than we are right now - him for a stressful detailed job, and me to mostly solo-parent an active toddler and work part-time. My wonderful, supportive MIL has offered to help us nightwean or support us in whatever way we want her too while we try to make changes. DD loves her and spends lots of time with her. Unfortunately, DH can't be part of any plan, as he needs to sleep well in order to do his job well.
So, I'd love your varied and wise experienced opinions on how best to do this. These are some thoughts I've had/suggestions made by others:

a) MIL comes over for several nights, attending to DD when she wakes after 11pm. DH and I sleep at a friends' nearby and come home by 6am. How many nights do you think this would take? Just to give her an idea of what she's in for.

b) I do nightweaning plan a la Jay Gordon (10+ nights) with MIL spelling me off for a couple of hours in the day to nap. Will DD take comfort from me without it being nursing? Will I be able to be strong alone and not nurse her if she's really begging for it?

c) MIL and I take the nights together. DH sleeps at the friends'.

Please help me figure out what the best way to approach this is.

[MsZelda]

we just went through a similar thing with my mother on board to help out. My husband is away for a long time (deployment) and we had also worked up to hourly wakings and nursings in the past few months. My dd is 18mos and has always waked regularly. While my mom was here, she slept with dd for the first few nights after I nursed her down, and then was the one to go to her when she woke the next few nights. Now, my mom is gone, but dd is only waking 2-3 times / night (it's only been 2 nights). The benefit of this plan was that she got used to going a long stretch without nursing (11 hours some nights) without the temptation of the breast each time she woke. There was some crying, but really no more than her usual cries with me. My mom sang to her and cuddled her and dd went to sleep fairly quickly knowing my mom wasn't "withholding" the milk. I think it also helped me to strengthen my resolve because psychologically I now know that dd can go the night without nursing and just needs emotional support (which I can give her with snuggles, songs, etc.) and so I don't constantly fret wondering if she is starving.

As a sidenote, I've been diligent about letting her nurse whenever she likes during the day and giving her tons of focused attention and snuggles. It's got to be a tough time for her.

All the best on your nightweaning!