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April Pagan circle... come join the fun! - Page 6

post #101 of 596
mamaofthree- I know how you feel. Wow, you are handling/juggling so much. Sending some do something for you vibes! I know for me, I just had to make a decision that for now, my cleanliness, house standards etc were going to have to do down for a bit while dh worked on his masters. I just had to let go of several things and keep ahold of what I really needed. I know how you feel about just keeping afloat. *hugs*
post #102 of 596
mamaofthree- I totally understand. I broke down completely a few days ago when I lost my chapstick. My lips were sooooo cracked and hurting and I finally bought a really nice chapstick with yummy oils and organic goodness. And then I lost it. It was a splurge, so it's not like I can just run out and get another, and I felt like an idiot for losing it, then angry that a lost tube of chapstick should be such a big deal, then guilty for feeling angry and upset! All in about 10 minutes.

We lost a huge chunk of income when I started SAH. We sold our house, moved to this one room cabin in the boonies, and really since I started SAH one thing after another has gone wrong. I don't want to regret SAH, but I often do just because I know so many of our current limitations come from that choice. Of course I remind myself of all the cool stuff that came too, and the neat things that have happened because we moved, but I think it's human nature to notice the bad stuff more, you know?

And money woes on top of everything just aggravate things. We got a "service disconnect" message from our propane company. I really hate them (they have crummy customer service, they don't allow online payment so you HAVE to mail a check, they have messed up our bill several times). We got it straightened out but we plan on ending our service plan with them and getting a different provider this summer. Can you change oil vendors? Or change your heat source? We installed a pellet stove and love it (propane is our cook stove and hot water heater fuel).

Hang in there!
post #103 of 596
to everyone struggling with finances. I can relate. Now that it's April, the gas company is allowed to shut off my service. (I'm so many months behind)
I really hope it doesn't come to that because my cooking AND hot water is gas. I could without the stove but without hot water.

My next pay (from my wah business) will go towards my overdue bill.
I know that some of you are on my team....I suggest you start advertising your business. Every little bit helps!

I think I'm going to try to sell a couple of toys that ds doesn't play with. It'll give me some extra cash and space!
post #104 of 596
dok- big hugs. Isn't that one of the "fun" things about April? It's why we got a notice now and not a month ago.

I don't want the kiddos to realize how tight things are (it was a big burden on me as a kid, knowing my parents were always on the tightrope financially), and I think we manage to give them a lot without much money, but some days it just hits harder than others.
post #105 of 596
Big hugs to all struggling. We're in that boat here now too.

Since dh has been so sick, too sick to do much of anything so I've been doing a lot of stuff, he hasn't been to work. They put him on unpaid leave of absence, and now though he's sent him the paperwork from the doctor, they are debating on just terminating him.

I'm a SAH and both of us can not work due to the fact that most of the daycares we've talked to (when I was thinking about going to work) will not deal with dd *sighs*. So one of us has to stay home with the kids.

I'm just stressed because part of me thinks he doesn't even care anymore. I've asked him to email HR to just verify that they received the fax but he said he already called so that's enough. He had been calling them when he was still sick and once he sent an email they called back and said they never got his messages!

Maybe dh has given up and if he has, I need to know so I can make proper arrangements to take care of myself and children. Maybe I'm just tired, I don't know.
post #106 of 596
Thread Starter 
to all of us. lol sometimes it just helps to unload it all. sorry you are my loading station. lol

cleaned the bathrooms, picked up the house, did two loads of wash (2nd is drying), did the dishes and made the beds. feel a bit better. i am not a window washer/duster, but if my house is cluttered that is how my mind feels. i have gotten much moreyht "relaxed" then i use to be. i use to follow the kids around cleaning up as they played, sometimes cleaning up what they were playing with. lol little obsessive. lol i think i will make quiche for dinner, so i don't go out and by crap food. (we always have lots of eggs) and then maybe i will watch a movie with the kids tonight. lol

h
post #107 of 596
Quote:
Originally Posted by DaughterOfKali View Post
to everyone struggling with finances. I can relate. Now that it's April, the gas company is allowed to shut off my service. (I'm so many months behind)
Honestly I hate that they are ever allowed to disconnect ANYONE with children at all
Sending abundant thoughts to both you and clay (anyone else want on board? lol I only looked at this page today) I hope a way pops up to make it work.

We got a monster power bill... 600bucks for the last 3 months. I cannot live without my air conditioner here in summer, and we had the pool pump going which probably hurt. And a month of rain meaning more dryer use! We can pay that... the problem is we are about 1k short on dh's tax payment for the end of april! I think we're going to just have to pay what we've got, and then tighten the belt from may till the end of the financial year (july)

I am having HUGE motivation issues mamas... my house is a bit of a mess and all I seem to get done lately is the bare minimum I WANT to clean & declutter a bit before TM time but my motivation & energy levels are falling flat big time. Hmm.. maybe they have a challenge thread going on over in Mindful Home? Might pop over & check.. I need help, the untidier it gets.. the more funky my mood gets. At the very least, today I WILL clean the living room up & vacuum and light some of my favourite incense in there so it is fresh.
post #108 of 596
*ugh* Today must be one of those days. Can't talk about it online but I am feeling beaten down.

It really seems like we, the collective we, need to gather together and work some magic and lighten our collective stress. *hugs* to all. Maybe we need a mini online vacation, like when we had the birthday ball?
post #109 of 596
Thread Starter 
on-line vacation? i want a real one. lol
i think part of my issue is AF has come for a visit, a week early. i honestly i think something is going on in there.
i made brownies... they are cooking right now. i needed some chocolate therapy.

oh and i wanted to post my blog so you could see my littles.
http://onemamasjourney.blogspot.com/

h
post #110 of 596
Very cool momtothree! Adorable!

We're making baked potatoes tonight with a fiesta theme to them! Can't wait!
post #111 of 596
So cute! Thanks for sharing!

And thanks for the support Cari. Abundance is one of my "words for the year", but it needs a push I think! Come on TM, mama needs a new everything.
post #112 of 596
Hugs to all. Wishing the speedy arrival of better times to all those who are having rough ones...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Aeress View Post
*ugh* Today must be one of those days. Can't talk about it online but I am feeling beaten down.

It really seems like we, the collective we, need to gather together and work some magic and lighten our collective stress. *hugs* to all. Maybe we need a mini online vacation, like when we had the birthday ball?
Well, Beltane is coming up, isn't it And Earth Day....

Quote:
Originally Posted by wombatclay View Post
S Abundance is one of my "words for the year", but it needs a push I think! Come on TM, mama needs a new everything.
All this really resonates with me right now. I've been struggling with the question of how to visualize/manifest abundance and a more relaxed, stress-free life, with less worry and more joy, for myself and my family. I don't want to download my money stress onto my kids, either now, nor when they are adults making choices that might reflect what I've taught them about how to live....

I'm having trouble with the language of it. I don't think wanting a balanced budget (which has been elusive here too, lately) or means to pay my debts is enough. Being debt-free sounds too tied to the idea of debt. Just saying I want to be free is too broad, feels a little frightening. I have a lot going on in my life that I don't think I *want* to be liberated from.

I don't want to ask for anything new that I might not be able to handle. I don't want to ask for the means to artificially sustain a way of life that is not ultimately sustainable, on an emotional level, the level of physical health, and an ecological level as well as financially, ykwim?

I'm pestering my dh with unthinkable questions like, "What would we want from life if we didn't have kids?" and "Are these dreams we're chasing really "our" dreams, or someone else's ideas of what we should want?"
post #113 of 596
Hi all! Sorry to have skipped out for a few days! I have been a tad busy! We have a new daughter and she is doing fab! She us 15mo and lovely!
post #114 of 596
Heather I am *so* *very* *happy* for you!!! and your family and your new daughter!
post #115 of 596
Quote:
Originally Posted by gun View Post
Hi all! Sorry to have skipped out for a few days! I have been a tad busy! We have a new daughter and she is doing fab! She us 15mo and lovely!
Well now THAT is a pleasant surprise! Congrats to you, and your family .. especially the new little one. She won't know it for a little while yet... but she's lucked out!

I did get a bit (not much, but some) done around the house today. But as I was cleaning the table at lunch, I noticed a particularly sore spot that has gotten worse all day... it's on my right side, under my rib cage in the back. Not kidney, not gas.. can't figure it out. But it's damned uncomfortable

Here's hoping a hot shower and good nights sleep fix it up?
post #116 of 596
Quote:
Originally Posted by gun View Post
Hi all! Sorry to have skipped out for a few days! I have been a tad busy! We have a new daughter and she is doing fab! She us 15mo and lovely!
That was incredibly FAST!
Congratulations!
post #117 of 596
Heather Congratulations!


I'm feeling lost in my own feelings, my own wants... Don't know where I'm heading and I'm scared. Reading legal stuff makes me nauseus and is giving me headaches without bringing any relief.

I hate being so in-tune with the stars/planets... I'd like to be able to do as the scientifics and ditch Pluto...
post #118 of 596
Thread Starter 
heather! that is wonderful.

i know that feeling. i am not sure what i want to ask for, because when we did that before i don't feel like i was specific enough and left so much open and now we are in the middle of something that feels overwhelming and i am just so tired of it.
plus, you know, i am not as young as i use to be. going on so little sleep after working the night shift is wearing me out. i am torn. today the homeschool group is FINALLY meeting and i really want to go, but i have to work tonight. so that means i have to get all this stuff done before we leave, probably not get a nap, and then be up over 24 hours before i go to bed for 4-5 hours tomorrow morning. ugh! and then there is the stress that they may call me off or put me on call. then i am down to just friday being the only shift i could possibly work for two weeks. and that isn't good. blaaah. alright got to get the littles breakfast.

h
post #119 of 596
Gun- your sweetie is just beautiful! I bet you are just over the moon with her!

A good friend cheered me up last night and reminded me that I have so many true friends, I don't need other friends.

So today, I am thankful for friends! True friends!

My horoscope was so on today, it gave me chills but I feel like it gives me guidance for the day.

Yes, Earth Day is coming I ordered a set of prayer flags from an etsy shop. I have attempted to make my own several times but they never seem to look nice. Our UU is doing a big festival.
post #120 of 596
Quote:
Originally Posted by gun View Post
Hi all! Sorry to have skipped out for a few days! I have been a tad busy! We have a new daughter and she is doing fab! She us 15mo and lovely!


OMG!! CONGRATULATIONS!!!!! That's SO AWESOME!!
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