April Pagan circle... come join the fun! - Page 11

[unschoolinmom]

I know it has a high rejection rate, but usually so do the dermal anchors, which mine is healing just wonderfully! So we'll see.

I agree, there really is not age limit. My piercer is in her late 30s and still gets them. Their beautiful.

Clay, I almost got the tragus. It was between that and my Madison. I will probably do the tragus later. I get ansy when I sit in the shop and know I NEED to get something done.

On an even wonderful note..today is Ds's 5th birthday!!! I can't believe that my baby is already 5. He loves his guitar and I have both a pic and a video of him with it on fb.

I did have one question. What age should a child be when you stop giving them gifts during their siblings birthdays? Dd will be 7 this year in October and I still gave her a little gift today so she wasn't upset when ds got his present.

But when should we start explaining to her that it's his day?

[wombatclay]

Good selling vibes to you!

Happy 5yr Birthday!

Hmmmm... I'm trying to remember what my parents did and I don't remember ever getting a gift on my brother's bday (or vice versa). Our trad was the bday kiddo got to pick dinner, and there was a party of some sort, and mom got a gift too. But I do give my own kiddos smaller "sibling" gifts. I don't know when that will stop. Maybe around ten or so?

Mike is wiring, and building the interior wall to turn the addition into two seperate rooms! Once the interior wall is framed we'll figure out where to wire the ceiling light boxes. The thought of a children's room with toy storage (and a door that can be closed ) is making me giddy!

[Maiasaura]

Originally Posted by wombatclay

I would say there is no age limit on body art, but there should be age limits on the jewelry/images maybe?
A piercing or tattoo can fit into any style, you just have to pick the right image or jewelry!

Originally Posted by Aeress

I agree, Clay, about the no age limit but I find myself trying to balance what is accepted in general society and my desires. I don't really care if people judge me because of piercings

I was thinking of something more subtle, actually...like the ring ones on this page: http://tattoo.about.com/cs/pbrow/l/blpgaleyebrow.htm

I don't work outside the home, but I will have to get a job soon to keep my CNA certification current. Someone told me I can work PRN somewhere, then quit when I get a nurse to sign me off. That sounds not-kosher to me, but I have to get signed off, so we'll see. I may still work a little bit.
At any rate, I can wait till this summer or so.
M and I have pretty much decided on finger-ring tattoos, so that'll probably come first Then maybe the ears, then maybe the eyebrow. Dunno yet. Then maybe the other two tats I have coming

Originally Posted by SunshineJ

Which was all fine and great until it came time for a game and she gave glow sticks to all the kids but mine, telling them they were too young to play. Seriously, why not send them back to us BEFORE you start the game? DS was crushed. Then the person that I was supposed to plan the Beltane ritual with agreed to plan it with someone else (after telling her that I was supposed to help plan it!). So definitely an off night.

Ye Gods, how rude!

Originally Posted by unschoolinmom

I agree, there really is not age limit. My piercer is in her late 30s and still gets them.

On an even wonderful note..today is Ds's 5th birthday!!!

I did have one question. What age should a child be when you stop giving them gifts during their siblings birthdays?

I'm 50, unschoolin'. I look 35, but still. I still want one!
Happy birthday to your ds!

Ten, Clay, really? I'd say....four My ds does not have siblings, but I used to get him little things when we went to his friends' parties. I did stop doing that around age 4, and just explained to him that it's <insert child's name>'s day. We had to do that shopping for the gift, and then wrapping the gift, and then giving the gift ("Remember? it's so-and-so's birthday, so it's their present. On your birthday you will get the presents."). So it was a lot of coaching, and a lot of repeating, but it paid off

[mamaofthree]

interesting about the sibling gifts. i have never done it, and my kids have been fine. we just sort of let them know that it was so and so's birthday and when it was their birthday they would get the same sort of celebration. we also have the birthday child pick out all the meals and cake.


reading a really great book: "Full Moon Feast". really great recipes and just great stuff by the author.

also feeling like i am going to lose my mind with dh. i am so tired of always having to pull him up and always be support and not have it given back to me. dh was freaking out about his PhD, and how much it was going to cost, so i have to sit and talk for HOURS with him and calm his fears and tell him it is just money and we will make it work, it isn't a big deal. then we get a medical bill (which i will have to fight with the hospital and insurance about on monday... lovely) he starts freaking out and wants to sell his bike, ok sell it, i told him we don't need the money, but he doesn't ride it and it is about the time people start pulling out bikes here, so it would be a good time to sell it. then he freaks and doesn't want to sell it. i am just so done with this. blaaah! do what you want! go to school, don't go. sell your bike, keep it. get another job, keep this one. just make up your mind! agh! i did tell him that if he sold the bike it could pay for my CBE thing in october. but he was still all wishy washy. i guess that is part of it. i am always super supportive and i just feel like i don't get that back. i am the one who deals will 90% of all the stuff here, and i just want some one to pat my hand and calm my fears. i am just worn out. frick!

h

[aweynsayl]

Originally Posted by Maiasaura

Did you notice that bed is six freakin' grand???

did you notice it's RH? yes, one can imagine much more productive uses for $6k....

Originally Posted by Valérie.Qc

Thanks! I'll try it!

lemme know how you feel about it! i'm *loving* it so far!

Originally Posted by mamaofthree

ok, that beach bed is AWESOME!
...
we are watching an old star trek movie: the voyage home. and the new doctor who.

isnt it, though? i wish i was in it now...
yay old trek! new dr as in brand new one just out? as in 11th dr? i want bbc america just so i can watch it.

Originally Posted by Aeress

I really want to get my nose pierced.

i, who have no tatts and no piercings, suddenly, out of nowhere, last month, decided i wanted a nose piercing. i wont do it, as i'm a whimp, but i can sort of imagine. you can get such subtle ones that are really elegant and classy, imo.

Originally Posted by SunshineJ

Hey all. Had a good birthday ...got the t-shirt in that I've been wanting for 3 months ...Tomorrow we just have the kids Irish Dance lessons, so it'll be an easy day.

happy birthday! glad it was good! funny shirt. i'm loving that your kids do irish dance!

Originally Posted by DaughterOfKali

Wish me luck...

luck!

Originally Posted by unschoolinmom

...I can't believe that my baby is already 5

people are always saying: "they grow up so fast!" but it's so true. mine just turned 4, and i seriously am shaking my head trying to figure out how that happened!

Originally Posted by wombatclay

The thought of a children's room with toy storage (and a door that can be closed ) is making me giddy!

i can imagine! yay!

Originally Posted by mamaofthree

also feeling like i am going to lose my mind with dh.

hugs! sounds like prime TM issues!


~~happy one day closer to TM time, all! between you all and our beach escape, and some oils and RR room spray, and some gardening, and some kismet moments, i'm feeling a ton more hopeful... things are brewing, and given that article i keep talking about (about the full-moon seed planting for the new moon), it's feeling like TM time will be... interesting... sending like-wise vibes to all!

[mamaofthree]

aweynsayl: you can get "clip on" nose rings. they are cool and you don't have to experience the pain. lol

i had a belly ring for years, then when i was PG with ds#4 it got really irritated and infected so i took it out. i have been toying with the idea of getting another, but it HURT for months and i don't know if i want to deal with that now. plus, so much MRSA in the hospitals, i am not thinking i want an open wound in my belly. lol i do want more tats. i love those. i wish i was an artist so i could draw and then post a picture of what i want on my back. lol

h

[unschoolinmom]

I have to vent if that's okay.

My mother and family have always hated me since my birth. Pretty much, I came late in my mother's life and she blamed me for my father leaving, then turning my older siblings to believe the same.

I try to keep from talking with her to avoid her toxic nature when complaining about me, but I don't want her missing out on her grandchildren. I have the whole, if you keep yourself out of their life, then you deal with the consequences, but I will not be the reason for it. That being said, ds kept asking why mom-mom hadn't called.

I finally called her around 4 and told her, "mom, it's Lu's birthday today." You know what she said? "Oh, I forgot all about him. I'm pretty sure the family did too." Did she say happy birthday after being reminded? No. She went on to complain about how the way I feed my kids (no processed meals, lots of water, etc.) was abuse and yada yada. She also forgot dd's birthday last year.

There's so much more but my goddess! How do you forget that and then not say anything even after being reminded? He was sad after she hung up but we cheered him up right away.

[CariOfOz]

Originally Posted by aweynsayl

i heard your song last night and thought of you! i cant think of mine.... something early 80s most likely, lol....
i used to have a crush on the UPS guy.

ohhh, spock as god. lurve it. i loved the new trek movie. loved loved it.

cari & aubergine, it's so fun looking for fun, but looking for real... man, it's soul crushing. i keep telling DH: "i just wish we had enough money to buy a house that is fit to live in-- or to fix one up." ... but we just have enough $$ to buy one that needs fixing.... and not $$ to fix it, only, it's not really funny.

I lURVE Tainted Love :dance Liked the new Trek movie too Aweyn, my BIL is a purist and thinks it is a vile creation

If you think it sucks for you hun.. try doing it when even a basic house costs 300k plus! I found the cutest 3br place that was 249k (did I share that?) but we can't even get a loan for at least 4more months. I know places will be out there though.. we'll find one when it's the right time for us!

Originally Posted by DaughterOfKali

Should I be afraid to google a madison piercing?

lol it's not really scary, but totally not something I could do! I get squicked out by piercings and such easily.. which is odd because I LOVE tatts?

Originally Posted by Aeress

I really want to get my nose pierced. After Gillian pulled mine out and I couldn't get it back in, I figured I would wait until we were out of the pulling shiny metal things stage. I imagine I am there, maybe for next years birthday. I have been doing lots of new things this year, actually, come to think of it, I really have broken out of my old me mold in some ways.

I think we are going to take the kids to How to Train a Dragon.

I had my nose peirced years ago, and think about getting it done again. Maybe one day

ENjoy the movie, I've heard rave reviews from friends about it!

Off to swimming lessons & a visit with Nan afterwards

[DaughterOfKali]

DeShanna- That is so sad.

[witchygrrl]

Originally Posted by unschoolinmom

I have to vent if that's okay.

My mother and family have always hated me since my birth. Pretty much, I came late in my mother's life and she blamed me for my father leaving, then turning my older siblings to believe the same.

I try to keep from talking with her to avoid her toxic nature when complaining about me, but I don't want her missing out on her grandchildren. I have the whole, if you keep yourself out of their life, then you deal with the consequences, but I will not be the reason for it. That being said, ds kept asking why mom-mom hadn't called.

I finally called her around 4 and told her, "mom, it's Lu's birthday today." You know what she said? "Oh, I forgot all about him. I'm pretty sure the family did too." Did she say happy birthday after being reminded? No. She went on to complain about how the way I feed my kids (no processed meals, lots of water, etc.) was abuse and yada yada. She also forgot dd's birthday last year.

There's so much more but my goddess! How do you forget that and then not say anything even after being reminded? He was sad after she hung up but we cheered him up right away.

Ugh. I have a toxic father who's never met my DD, and I haven't seen him since 2003 as it's just easier that way. Anyway, I sympathize. I just don't understand why people need to be nasty like that.

[unschoolinmom]

It is. My father hasn't been around since I was 10 so I'm not too worried about him. I don't understand either. I mean, he's just a 5 year old child. What harm could he have possibly done to her?

I know I shouldn't be surprised. I recently got my prenatal test results back and saw that at some point in my life I had Rubella but now had the antibodies against it. I called and asked her and she didn't remember. My oldest sister had to tell her that yes, I did and almost died when I was 3 from it. Her response, "Well, Shauna, it's not like it killed you, so why are you bothering me with it?"

I'm sometimes shocked I'm as functional as I am sometimes.

[mamaofthree]

unschoolin': i am so sorry. having a crappy parent sucks. it is a wonder we come out functional at all.
hey and happy birthday to your son... and to you!

h

[TulsiLeaf]

Hi everyone. I haven't been around much. April isn't a good month for me and ugh. Trying to make it a better month.

Hope everyone is doing well.

[SunshineJ]

Originally Posted by unschoolinmom

I did have one question. What age should a child be when you stop giving them gifts during their siblings birthdays? Dd will be 7 this year in October and I still gave her a little gift today so she wasn't upset when ds got his present.

But when should we start explaining to her that it's his day?

This is an odd one at our house. The kids birthdays are 6 weeks apart, and they're only 22 1/2 months apart in age, so it's not been uncommon that they get a "joint" birthday gift halfway through. For example one year it was a swingset for the yard - big stuff like that for them to share. We still do a small gift for the other one, more because we like to do it that way. When the youngest was around 3 or so I think we started to get into how it actually works in most families. Since that time they've understood that getting a present on the others birthday is kind of "our thing" and realize that, for example, they won't be getting something when they go to another child's birthday party. They don't expect a gift from anyone else but DH and I on their sibling's birthday, and usually it's a "compliment" to something their sibling got. As long as they understand that this is the exception and not typical for other situations, I'm ok with continuing to do it.

Originally Posted by mamaofthree

also feeling like i am going to lose my mind with dh.

I'm sorry, that sounds really frustrating!

Originally Posted by mamaofthree

i have been toying with the idea of getting another, but it HURT for months and i don't know if i want to deal with that now.

And I'd just about convinced myself to get one after I lose weight!

Originally Posted by unschoolinmom

I have to vent if that's okay.

My mother and family have always hated me since my birth. Pretty much, I came late in my mother's life and she blamed me for my father leaving, then turning my older siblings to believe the same.

I try to keep from talking with her to avoid her toxic nature when complaining about me, but I don't want her missing out on her grandchildren. I have the whole, if you keep yourself out of their life, then you deal with the consequences, but I will not be the reason for it. That being said, ds kept asking why mom-mom hadn't called.

I finally called her around 4 and told her, "mom, it's Lu's birthday today." You know what she said? "Oh, I forgot all about him. I'm pretty sure the family did too." Did she say happy birthday after being reminded? No. She went on to complain about how the way I feed my kids (no processed meals, lots of water, etc.) was abuse and yada yada. She also forgot dd's birthday last year.

There's so much more but my goddess! How do you forget that and then not say anything even after being reminded? He was sad after she hung up but we cheered him up right away.

That's so terrible. I have to ask, is this something you really see as beneficial for your children? I'd have to weigh that relationship very carefully I'm afraid. ((Hugs)) and happy birthday to your little guy!!

[CariOfOz]

Originally Posted by DaughterOfKali

DeShanna- That is so sad.

Agreed. I'm afraid that, family or no, it would be time for me to cut them loose if they acted that way toward me & my children I'm sure you are already aware that THEY are the ones missing out by choosing not to be involved with your children.. there is nothing that relationship seems to have to offer your kids and yeah, that's really sad.

On a totally different note.. we hung out & visited the parents today after swim lessons and I scored a big stack of magazines from MIL for my treasure map (nope, I didn't peek.. they are still in the car so I am not tempted by them. I even let her put a bunch int he bag without looking.) Can't wait till TM day!!

[SunshineJ]

Good morning everyone!! Hope everyone has a great day today!

[Maiasaura]

Originally Posted by mamaofthree

i am always super supportive and i just feel like i don't get that back. i am the one who deals will 90% of all the stuff here, and i just want some one to pat my hand and calm my fears. i am just worn out. frick!

Have you told him that? I so hate it, but sometimes I have to spell out for my loved ones exactly what it is that I need. Even to the point of scripting for them: "This is the part where you say 'aww, poor thing'" or whatever. It's really pathetic, IMO, but even when they say the scripted part when I tell them to, even just that little bit feels better than nothing. Some people are just clueless, h It sucks, but...what can I say. If you can even get that much out of him, you're doing better than you are now!

Originally Posted by mamaofthree

aweynsayl: you can get "clip on" nose rings. they are cool and you don't have to experience the pain. lol

You can?? Can you get clip-on eyebrow rings, too? I'd kind of like to see what it looks like before I actually do it. M thinks that yes, I'm too old But then, he's very much more a "traditional" sort of person than I am. If I had a way to see what it'd look like ahead of time, that might help me decide.

Hmmm, or, maybe I can put all those tats and piercings on my TM

Originally Posted by unschoolinmom

There's so much more but my goddess! How do you forget that and then not say anything even after being reminded? He was sad after she hung up but we cheered him up right away.

Originally Posted by CariOfOz

Agreed. I'm afraid that, family or no, it would be time for me to cut them loose if they acted that way toward me & my children I'm sure you are already aware that THEY are the ones missing out by choosing not to be involved with your children.. there is nothing that relationship seems to have to offer your kids and yeah, that's really sad.

unschoolin. I'm so sorry. That's just awful, and you and your kids deserve better

But I have to say, I agree with Cari. Let them go. I wouldn't even try to let them have a relationship with the kids. I mean-- don't hide them or keep them away, just maybe not initiate from your end. And if she calls, or they call, and want to do something with the kids, you don't have to drop everything so that they can. You can fit them in as it's convenient.
Don't worry about it "being you" that is the reason for the consequences. They will create that all on their own. Kids are super smart. They figure out in no time flat who's honest and who's sneaky and who's a UAV, kwim? They won't blame you.

My ds's father is deceased, but even when he was alive, ds and I never had a relationship with his family of origin. He kind of kept us away from them. In hindsight, he was ashamed of us because we were a living reminder of how he "failed" his first family
But he had 3 sibs and my ds has like 11 or 12 cousins on that side. He's met them a time or two, and the grandfather send us this huge Harry & David stack every Christmas till this year, but not a one of them makes any effort to contact us or have anything to do with us. I did try for awhile, but they are too busy to bother with us, I guess, plus we are a 2nd family for ds's father and never had a relationship with them. But still. I know that ds will figure all that out in his own time, and not blame me. I don't talk bad about them or talk them down. OTOH, I don't talk them up, either. It's just not a topic that comes up.
I don't know why I said all that...maybe there's something in there that you find helpful.
Hugs, mama.

I can't wait for TM time, either! I think M may really do one I think ds will not
But I am so excited to do mine

[mamaofthree]

anyone else want to pull their hair out when it comes to food? could there be more mixed messages out there? lol makes me crazy.
i am reading "Full Moon Feast" and i have to say that it is wonderful! and it makes total sense.
i think one thing that is always left out is exercise. and not just 30 minutes a day. all of those indiginous people that weston-price looked at in the 30's... they were busy. even if they didn't walk around 20 hours a day, they were busy because they had to make and do everything. no washing machines, no cars, ect. i think good general business keeps people healthy. i remeber reading about the amish and how they have a high fat diet (compare to what the AMA, and FDA suggests you eat) and the women walked something like 7 miles a day and the men walked 10. EVERYDAY! something to think about, at least for me. PLUS super skinniness isn't they body type of all people, some yes, but not all. and for people to think they should all look that way, i think leads to dissappointment and eating disorders. i mean look at paintings? how many women were really thin? look back at the 50's... MM was hot and she was like a 10 or something.

anyway... must go on a hike now. lol

h

[wombatclay]

unschoolin- I'm sorry. I hope your little one recovers from the hurt, and that you feel all the love and support we're sending your way! I've had a really rocky road with my own mom and eventually DH and I wrote her a letter. We sort of said "this is who we are, this is how we are raising our children, this is what we expect from people who are around our kiddos". She didn't talk to us for a year after that. My feeling (after years of craziness) was that I wouldn't push anyone out of my life, but I didn't need to hold a door open for anyone either. My kiddos were being emotionally hurt by the situation and that was not ok. My mom has slowly started re-building bridges, and I'm open to her being in our lives, but it's going to take time. I hope you can find some way to reach a point of peace too because it really sounds like your mom is not well. And she's making people around her "not well" too.

gifts- We've never offered our kiddos gifts at other people's parties and "goody bags" are not a common thing in our area either. I don't recall either kiddo ever mentioning getting/not getting gifts at someone else's party. But I don't have a problem with sib gifts at a sib's party. Like, Laia got a pony toy to go with her pony ride and Rowan got a "baby pony". I don't know, it doesn't bother me to much I guess. But then, neither girl is begging for gifts or "expecting" one either so I don't know how I'd feel if they were.

Growing up my brother and I didn't get gifts on each others' birthdays (though eating out was a treat), but we did get to invite a friend of our own to the party (we didn't always have parties with guests though, my parents were a bit ambivalent about birthday celebrations... when guests were invited it was never more than 3-4). I think the idea was so the "not bday sib" would have someone to play with?

DH said his parties were small till he was a teen and then it was more of a "go hang out with your friends" type thing. His sibs were much older though (like 20 years older) and his parents were divorced so there really wasn't a "family gathering" element.

[wombatclay]

Food- there was a nice article of HuffPo yesterday on that. Looking at the need to remove the stigma of "fat" while at the same time dealing with the fact that being overweight really isn't healthy. And how people evolved in a "low calorie/high activity" world but now live in a "low activity/high calorie" world. I thought it was a nicely balanced piece, but like all those oped things, it didn't offer much beyond a "things must change" solution.