April Pagan circle... come join the fun! - Page 12

[MPJJJ]

Ex posted:

Earlier this year I finalized the divorce of my 10 year marriage. It was a marriage full of ups and downs, abuse and broken promises, and waiting and hoping for him to change (which he never did). So now that we are apart and he is with someone new, he is now doing all the things that he promised me for years that he would do. And to be honest, it hurts, because I keep wondering "why was I not good enough? We had a family and a home and I loved him more than anything, why was I never enough for him to change? What makes these other women better than me?"

I am now living with my DP, whom I am so amazingly compatable with, and he treats me so well. Despite this, I keep getting dragged down with the old feelings of insecurity and sadness, and bitterness. I don't want to be this person. I want to not exactly be happy for him, but to have a 'who cares' attitude. I don't want him to have the power to hurt me anymore, which he still does, all the time. And he enjoys it.

I am trying to design a ritual to perform before I treasure map this month, because I don't want all those negative feelings interfering with the positive that I am trying to attract into my life. Could some other pagans please PM me with some advice, or perhaps a spell that they have performed if they have gone through something similar? Thanks so much.

[Vojerleda]

Hello all, and I hope your Spring is as wet as mine is.
and, put on your herbalist hats please, if you have one.

Do you know of anything that can aid in healing/comforting an infected bug bite on a baby(17mo)'s leg? We currently have her on Ceflex (abx) and motrin, and are doing warm epsom salt baths once a day to help drain the ick. She's still pretty sensitive with it and has a limp.. ideas?

[Aubergine68]

Hello, all!

I am just in popping out of a busy weekend to recommend a book I'm very excited about right now, Christopher Penczak's The Witch's Coin: Prosperity and Money Magic. Here is a review that sums up some of the reasons why I'm enjoying it. Penczak does not oversimplify the conflicts between limited-natural-resource environmentalism and unlimited abundance thinking and talks about working with natural flows of economic cycles just as one works with natural cycles as a pagan. It has discussions of prosperity symbolism as it relates to archetypes, tarot symbolism, archetypes, dragons, Arthurian mythology, and chakras - basically all of my favorite pagan things . I never thought of thinking about money and archetypes before -- powerful stuff. I've been or feared being a Starving Student, Miser, Spendthrift, Gambler, (wage) Slave, Prostitute (selling myself out for money in a way I didn't respect, I mean)....how to transform those money traps into positive money identities...?

It popped up on an Amazon ad and, since issues of prosperity, magic, and healing broken ways of thinking about abundance and money are interesting to me right now, I checked out the sample chapter via Kindle (I think you can do that with a PC or Mac if you don't have a Kindle.

I am not going to have time to work through all of it before TM time, but the plan of working through my attitudes towards prosperity with the help of the ideas in this book is almost certainly going on the map this year

I am also going to be checking out the author's other works for sure
Christopher Penszak There is another book in this series called The Witch's Shield already, and another coming about relationships called The Witch's Heart, which might be of use to you, MPJJJ. (Yes this is me, same woman who was only interested in female interpretations of paganism, all excited about reading the teachings of a male author )

Will be back to engage more later on, but no time....lol at the plan of joint custody and you living in your yurt, Val!

unschoolin. Mother stuff is hard. I like what you said, aweyn, about a previous discussion that people are often drawn to paganism through lacks in their own experience of mothering -- the Earth Mother can make up for it, somehow....food for thought for me...

Welcome MPJJJ. Tapping is my favorite tool for releasing awful baggage of old emotions. aweyn started a tapping camp thread which might be useful. There are some videos on www.tapping.com that might be a good introduction for you. Maybe try the introduction to tapping and the forgiveness vid on the same page, maybe the memory release?

Voljoreda, so sorry about your little one's leg. I can't think of anything off the top of my head I'd feel comfortable recommending herbally for someone so young -- but tapping, maybe?

ETA just remembered that my grandmother used a beetroot poultice on skin infections, basically grated raw beet bound over a wound to draw the poison out, change poultice frequently. She swore by it, used it on a nasty infection my uncle had as a young child after he stepped on a manure fork (this was before abx) and he didn't lose his foot....

[Aeress]

Didn't people also do Bread pultice, when they made rich, dense, hearty wheat breads?

Just got back from a lovely day at our friends nature preserve where we heard Mustard's retreat.
Check them out if you like folk music.

[Autumn Breeze]

Unschooling - when my bio dad and step dad ignored my kids birthdays, then mine and my husbands (which are all in the same 4 week period), I decided that was enough of the flaky relationship. You don't ditch my kids and get to keep a relationship with them.

Originally Posted by Vojerleda

Hello all, and I hope your Spring is as wet as mine is.
and, put on your herbalist hats please, if you have one.

Do you know of anything that can aid in healing/comforting an infected bug bite on a baby(17mo)'s leg? We currently have her on Ceflex (abx) and motrin, and are doing warm epsom salt baths once a day to help drain the ick. She's still pretty sensitive with it and has a limp.. ideas?

What about colloidal silver? What kind of bug was it? Don't forget probiotics for those antibiotics...

i'm one to talk, I took 10 days of abx and kept forgetting my probiotic

[mamaofthree]

cold cabbage leaves might help cool the area also, and make it feel better.

h

[CariOfOz]

Originally Posted by mamaofthree

anyone else want to pull their hair out when it comes to food? could there be more mixed messages out there? lol makes me crazy.
h

Yes, I feel your pain. I've decided to just ignore anything written on food/diet/weight pretty much. I'm doing my own thing, eating healthier (not that we were ever awful, but we fell into the convenience food thing for a while) and being more active, even if it's just a little bit every day. I Know that I'm overweight, and I'm not happy about it... but I'm struggling with not hating my body at the same time. I don't feel that hating it is very productive in changing it. But it's not easy

Originally Posted by MPJJJ

Ex posted:

Earlier this year I finalized the divorce of my 10 year marriage. It was a marriage full of ups and downs, abuse and broken promises, and waiting and hoping for him to change (which he never did). So now that we are apart and he is with someone new, he is now doing all the things that he promised me for years that he would do. And to be honest, it hurts, because I keep wondering "why was I not good enough? We had a family and a home and I loved him more than anything, why was I never enough for him to change? What makes these other women better than me?"

Could it be a case of not realizing exactly what he had, until he no longer had it (you)? I absolutely don't defend abusive behavior, but with things like broken promises and all the other downs... maybe rock bottom is where he had to be to change. And rock bottom meant you walking and not coming back.

Originally Posted by Vojerleda

Do you know of anything that can aid in healing/comforting an infected bug bite on a baby(17mo)'s leg? We currently have her on Ceflex (abx) and motrin, and are doing warm epsom salt baths once a day to help drain the ick. She's still pretty sensitive with it and has a limp.. ideas?

Ouch, sounds nasty. We Tea tree oil EVERYTHING here..honey is also supposed to help with infected skin issues isn't it? Honestly though, if it's bad enough for antibiotics and she has a limp, I'd be resorting to pharaceuticals to help with the pain until the atbx fix it up. I hope it heals soon!

Aubergine.. that book sounds awesome, I've heard a lot of great things about the author. Never read him though, as your avg pagan book down here is 35+bucks!!! I just can't bring myself to spend that on a book unless it's a beautiful hardback

We had a 10day holiday from schoolish stuff, so we're back into it today...eventually I hope everyone's well & happy

[Maiasaura]

I don't think you're supposed to give colloidal to a little kid...might want to check on that. I was going to say calendula salve maybe? Or plantain?

Originally Posted by mamaofthree

PLUS super skinniness isn't they body type of all people, some yes, but not all. and for people to think they should all look that way, i think leads to dissappointment and eating disorders. i mean look at paintings? how many women were really thin? look back at the 50's... MM was hot and she was like a 10 or something.

MM was a 14. But back-then's 14 is like today's 10 or even 8.
I no longer want to be skinny. I'd be happy with 20-40lb gone, though.

Originally Posted by MPJJJ

It was a marriage full of ups and downs, abuse and broken promises, and waiting and hoping for him to change (which he never did). So now that we are apart and he is with someone new, he is now doing all the things that he promised me for years that he would do.

Sounds to me like he's on good behavior with his new person. Don't worry, mama...he will show his true colors to her soon enough

[DaughterOfKali]

Originally Posted by Maiasaura

Sounds to me like he's on good behavior with his new person. Don't worry, mama...he will show his true colors to her soon enough

Exactly what I was thinking. to you.

[Vojerleda]

Thanks, folks. I am treating it with abx and otc pain solution as dr recommended- I just wanted to know if there was anything else I could do to help her be more comfortable with it. She feels loads better, and I can thank the epsom salt soaks for that.

I feed her yogurt regularly, so maybe that's enough probiox?

Sometimes I feel like I could 'make it' as a mennonite woman. I know how to do tons of stuff by hand, anyway. If the modern world goes to hell in a handbasket (love that expression, dontcha?) then I would be fine in a communal society.

I want to learn canning, though. That would add to my post-apocalyptic dossier.

[mamaofthree]

when giving her yogurt or any probiotics, make sure you give them some time AFTER the antibiotics like 2-4 hours after the dose. otherwise the antibiotic could just wipe out the probiotics. lol

h

[unschoolinmom]

What a weird day today.

I had to do a clinical assessment of a fake case study and diagnose a 4 year old child using the DSM-IV for my abnormal psychology class. Then I continued working on this goddess doll I'm knitting for ds and I kid you not, but all of a sudden I felt like the Sandman took his bag of sleepy sand and whacked me over the head with it. I went straight to sleep for three hours and woke up yet again VERY VERY hungry.

So I'm making myself a quick salad with asparagus, romaine lettuce, tomatoes, goat cheese, and avocado slices topped with Italian dressing. Mmmmmm.

I am going to do what you ladies have said. I hated seeing my son so sad, and will never put him in that kind of situation again. If she wants to be in his life, she will have to do it on her own. I am not going to force it anymore.

[CariOfOz]

Originally Posted by Maiasaura

MM was a 14. But back-then's 14 is like today's 10 or even 8.
I no longer want to be skinny. I'd be happy with 20-40lb gone, though.

THIS! I would actually be pretty happy if I were the same size I was when I met dh lol, which was a 12-14ish. I'm an 18-20 now and it depresses me to see myself naked. I know it SHOULD NOT, I mean this body created 5 wonderful human beings and nurtured 3 of them of itself for almost 2yrs each. I am amazed by that, truly. But I can't help feeling unnattractive

Sounds to me like he's on good behavior with his new person. Don't worry, mama...he will show his true colors to her soon enough

Also a big possibility. I guess I"m just a sucker for hope? I'd like to hope that people can change.. sappy I know

Originally Posted by Vojerleda

I want to learn canning, though. That would add to my post-apocalyptic dossier.

Originally Posted by unschoolinmom

I am going to do what you ladies have said. I hated seeing my son so sad, and will never put him in that kind of situation again. If she wants to be in his life, she will have to do it on her own. I am not going to force it anymore.

I think that's a very good choice, at least at this point. His life will NOT be less full for being without a nasty person in it ya know?

[Autumn Breeze]

Originally Posted by unschoolinmom

So I'm making myself a quick salad with asparagus, romaine lettuce, tomatoes, goat cheese, and avocado slices topped with Italian dressing. Mmmmmm.

I am going to do what you ladies have said. I hated seeing my son so sad, and will never put him in that kind of situation again. If she wants to be in his life, she will have to do it on her own. I am not going to force it anymore.

mmmmmmmmmmm salad

It's not an easy choice to make, but when you look back in a year or two, you'll feel relief over not having to see that disappointment.

[mamaofthree]

Originally Posted by unschoolinmom

I am going to do what you ladies have said. I hated seeing my son so sad, and will never put him in that kind of situation again. If she wants to be in his life, she will have to do it on her own. I am not going to force it anymore.

I am so sorry you had to make that decision. it sucks, but like others have said i don't think your son will be missing anything not having a mean person in his life.


we got another damn medical bill. i am about to go crazy. we are thinking of going on mainecare. we pay out of pocket about $6000.00 a year in premiums and dh work pays at least that much if not more. so with $12,000 a year they can't cover 60%? i am so upset i wanna just go crazy. and i am sorry, but to think this country doesn't need some sort of insurance reform?? the movie SiCKO totally is about us. we have insurance and we get screwed. AGH!!!!!!


ok on a better note the boys and i are going to tie dye some play silks with kool-aid today. i will let you know how it goes. lol

h

[saphire]

Originally Posted by MPJJJ

Ex posted:

Earlier this year I finalized the divorce of my 10 year marriage.

Your situation reminds me of what my dad did to my mom. I'm sorry you are experiencing this. Even though it hurts now, there will come a time when you can look back and see how much better off you are without him.

Vojerleda- How's your baby's leg doing?

Unschoolin- Happy (belated) Birthday to your ds! ( and Boo for crummy grandparents.)

sibling bday gifts- we do that, but up to about age 8 or so.

I've really been enjoying this last push of decluttering. I feel motivated to get a lot done. I can't wait to get started TMing Wednesday.

[Maiasaura]

Originally Posted by CariOfOz

THIS! I would actually be pretty happy if I were the same size I was when I met dh lol, which was a 12-14ish. I'm an 18-20 now and it depresses me to see myself naked. I know it SHOULD NOT, I mean this body created 5 wonderful human beings and nurtured 3 of them of itself for almost 2yrs each. I am amazed by that, truly. But I can't help feeling unnattractive

I don't always feel unattractive anymore. M is so, so supportive and so enamored of me exactly like I am-- it totally blows my mind, but it also makes me realize I am not an ugly, fat, worthless thing. He loves me. He honestly says he doesn't see the fat. Doesn't see my body the way I do. And <quote> "I don't like skinny girls!" Um, say what? I have never heard of such a thing.
But yay for me!
I'm 5'1" and 180. Way too round for me. Very Willendorf shaped, which I'm fine with...but I would like it slightly less Willendorf shaped

But then, I was 198 when M and I started talking on the phone, back in October. I have lost 18lb and kept it off. Now I really would like to get my nose to the grindstone and lose the next 10, and keep that off.

I am an 18 in pants. I did get a new pair of jeans-- I don't normally wear jeans. They are "junior" size, size 17, which is probably the biggest they make them, but I'm happy! They look awesome. They're just oh-so-slightly uncomfortable-- I can wear them for 2-3 hours, maybe 4, before I feel like I'm wrapped in too-tight Saran wrap and have to peel them off. But I'd LOVE to be back in "normal" big sizes, and not Big-big sizes.

How many pounds is it per size? Is it 10, or 20? I think it's about 10, but I can't remember.

Originally Posted by mamaofthree

i am so upset i wanna just go crazy. and i am sorry, but to think this country doesn't need some sort of insurance reform??

YES. Yes. I have to reduce my income by like $250/month so that ds can get back on the state health insurance. Which means I may have to give up internet and home phone. And some more food budget and some gas budget. ARGH! Not to mention I haven't been insured since 1999

Originally Posted by saphire

I've really been enjoying this last push of decluttering. I feel motivated to get a lot done. I can't wait to get started TMing Wednesday.

I am working on my yard sale stuff. Decluttering and pricing things. I'm off to declutter my fingernails right now-- it's getting hard to type!

[witchygrrl]

Count me in with the bad body image. DH has been working on me for years, and he's seen me yo-yo, big tme. It doesn't help that when we first met, as friends, I was a waif at 110 lbs, and now I'm over 170. Ah well, he's in the not liking skinny girls camp too. I am trying to get healthier again, and that does mean losing weight for me.

Anyway, what a beautiful day!

[Valerie.Qc]

and

I'm feeling out of the loop... starting to feel sick again (slight fever and sore troat)

I have some Chai of Evolution (from Love and Tea) simmering.

Size: I'm short (5'3") and have small bones so every pounds are showing. After gaining unexplainably since the Holidays (over 20 pounds), I've start loosing this month! I'm 7 pounds down. Would love to know why I gain and lose like that (I'm pretty sure it's hormones related but mainstream doctor failed helping me pinpoint the source of my "illness" so I'm on my own. ) to make a plan to go down to a more healthy/fit weight. (I'd love to go back to 125-130lbs/size 8 but would settle on 140/size 10 if my body could agree with me )

[Autumn Breeze]

Val, have you had your thyroid levels checked? Even "low normal" numbers can cause problems like that.

I'm actually very happy with my weight, I'm hovering around 140, but I'm 5'7"...if I could just tone my belly/hips/butt I'd be THRILLED with my body. It's been a long time since I could say that. The last time I liked my body I was very pregnant