I had my final court hearing and the judge awarded me primary custody of my children and gave my ex visitation with prior notice and he's not allowed to take the children out of the country. The judge ordered child support and back child support.
My ex lives in the Middle East and can't get a visa to the U.S., so I am sure he will be outraged at the idea that he can visit the kids but not take them out of the country.
He is also going to be angry about the child support (which I don't expect him to pay a penny of since he hasn't sent anything to help the kids in over a year).
My older child is very upset and thinks the judge wasn't fair. I don't know how to acknowledge my child's feelings because the judge is truly looking out for the child's best interest here (my ex's home town is very violent and the region can get pretty unstable; everything for my children has been done by me since we left my ex.)
I have a hard time finding distance from all of this because my ex was very abusive emotionally and very manipulative. I probably could not have left if I hadn't found myself physically separated by him because of the Visa issue.
I just sent ex an email letting him know what the court said ... the final decree is coming, but he knew the court date and naturally wanted to know what was going on.
1. I don't know what to do to help my child with his feelings of anger and that an injustice has been done to his father.
2. I am (irrationally?) afraid of the fallout when my ex finds out what was decided.
3. I don't know how guilty I should feel. (I probably shouldn't feel guilty, but I do feel bad that he can't physically see his children. It has been email, phone, and video. However, he's there because of his own actions and whether he can see them or not, it is his job to maintain the relationship with his children.)
I'd appreciate any feedback you all have.
My ex lives in the Middle East and can't get a visa to the U.S., so I am sure he will be outraged at the idea that he can visit the kids but not take them out of the country.
He is also going to be angry about the child support (which I don't expect him to pay a penny of since he hasn't sent anything to help the kids in over a year).
My older child is very upset and thinks the judge wasn't fair. I don't know how to acknowledge my child's feelings because the judge is truly looking out for the child's best interest here (my ex's home town is very violent and the region can get pretty unstable; everything for my children has been done by me since we left my ex.)
I have a hard time finding distance from all of this because my ex was very abusive emotionally and very manipulative. I probably could not have left if I hadn't found myself physically separated by him because of the Visa issue.
I just sent ex an email letting him know what the court said ... the final decree is coming, but he knew the court date and naturally wanted to know what was going on.
1. I don't know what to do to help my child with his feelings of anger and that an injustice has been done to his father.
2. I am (irrationally?) afraid of the fallout when my ex finds out what was decided.
3. I don't know how guilty I should feel. (I probably shouldn't feel guilty, but I do feel bad that he can't physically see his children. It has been email, phone, and video. However, he's there because of his own actions and whether he can see them or not, it is his job to maintain the relationship with his children.)
I'd appreciate any feedback you all have.
