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College - Page 3

post #41 of 56
7/29/10 at 8:45am
So we're rapidly approaching the month when they move off to school! How's everyone doing? Getting excited? Courses all set? Fees all paid?

I have my verklempt moments, but his enthusiasm and excitement are contagious. He made friends at Orientation, has registered for his courses, and has applied for several work-study jobs. Still a few things to buy, but he is as ready as one could be, I think.
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post #42 of 56
8/17/10 at 7:57pm
And the home stretch . . . Everyone doing all right?

Enjoy the ride!
post #43 of 56
8/17/10 at 9:05pm
Quote:
I don't know that perspective from having done it already helps me!
Interesting!

Oldest is only 15 y.o. but this thread helps me with perspective.
post #44 of 56
8/18/10 at 8:34am
Thread Starter 
Yes we are in the final week before leaving. It is so cliche but how did it all go so fast?! I am going to miss her soooooo much. I think we have everything covered and I can send anything that we have forgotten. I started e-mailing her to get ready for our new interaction...I am so used to talking with her every day. We have skype and e-mail and of course I can send her packages. Any other advice for coping with this giant change?
post #45 of 56
8/18/10 at 3:06pm
We text a lot. There's also some apps for iPhones where you can play games with each other (chess, scrabble, etc).

I have to admit that as excited as I am for my d, I'm struggling with all this right now.
post #46 of 56
8/18/10 at 8:49pm
I'm curious, did any of your children remain 'undecided' regarding a degree?

If your dc declared a field of interest, did you object to or argue with your child's choice?

Any other big decisions you might have argued with your child about? Or were you and your child able to discuss these big issues pretty calmly?

I ask because I have unresolved college issues of my own and I can tell I'm going to have to really restrain myself from trying to get too involved in dd's college decisions. Seriously, the other day I spent a couple of hours on Princeton Review's web site sorting through colleges I think would be a good match for her (fifteen years old, only a sophomore). Lewis and Clark in Portland, OR would be perfect.
post #47 of 56
8/20/10 at 12:10am
Quote:
Originally Posted by journeymom View Post
I'm curious, did any of your children remain 'undecided' regarding a degree?

If your dc declared a field of interest, did you object to or argue with your child's choice?

Any other big decisions you might have argued with your child about? Or were you and your child able to discuss these big issues pretty calmly?

I ask because I have unresolved college issues of my own and I can tell I'm going to have to really restrain myself from trying to get too involved in dd's college decisions. Seriously, the other day I spent a couple of hours on Princeton Review's web site sorting through colleges I think would be a good match for her (fifteen years old, only a sophomore). Lewis and Clark in Portland, OR would be perfect.
My son has known for several years what field his intended major would be in. It has been his passion, and he has the talent to do well. He and I have had no arguments about it, as I am a big fan of "do what you love and love what you do). Also, I settled for a major that my parents talked me into - which I wasn't happy with - and I would never do that to my child. Conversely, his Dad has been relatively unsupportive of his choice. Which has only made our son more determined.

We really had no arguments about his choices. I did convince him to apply to a few schools he hadn't looked at seriously, simply as options due to his other academic strengths, so he'd have a back-up.

One thing I would stress is to allow your daughter to do her own research for the most part. What you may consider a good fit, may turn out to be the wrong choice. Not to say you shouldn't also do research, but it should be more from a position of suggesting possibilities for her to look at, rather than pushing a school that you think would be right for her. Also - visit schools with her. Nothing replaces an actual feet on the ground visit. We visited three schools in the roughly same geographic area, and I knew the minute we stepped foot on one campus that it would be where he'd be attending. (It is.) There was something about the size, location, energy... everything, that screamed his name.

The hardest part of it all was sitting by and trying NOT to influence him in one direction while his Dad influenced him in another. Even though I knew he would be miserable if he went that way. But I felt it was time for him to stand up for what he wanted - and in the end he did. He always knew that I would support his decision either way. But... it had to be HIS decision.

**************

In the meantime, we are coming down to the wire. Tuesday the 24th is move-in day. On the one hand, I can't wait as I know he is SO ready and is itching to get started. On the other, I want to hit the brakes and go back in time to when he was my little boy. But that won't make it any easier, and it's time for him to start building his own life.

We do text a lot, and we're friends on FB.
post #48 of 56
8/20/10 at 11:08am
Quote:
Originally Posted by journeymom View Post

If your dc declared a field of interest, did you object to or argue with your child's choice?
I'm glad you realize you're too involved, because arguing about a grown child's choice of major would be unhealthy.
post #49 of 56
8/20/10 at 3:50pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by journeymom View Post
I'm curious, did any of your children remain 'undecided' regarding a degree?

If your dc declared a field of interest, did you object to or argue with your child's choice?

Any other big decisions you might have argued with your child about? Or were you and your child able to discuss these big issues pretty calmly?

I ask because I have unresolved college issues of my own and I can tell I'm going to have to really restrain myself from trying to get too involved in dd's college decisions. Seriously, the other day I spent a couple of hours on Princeton Review's web site sorting through colleges I think would be a good match for her (fifteen years old, only a sophomore). Lewis and Clark in Portland, OR would be perfect.
DS1 and DS2 have phenomenal academic records, which led to some anxiety on my part that they would/do hear about schools to which they "should" apply. Our major input has been to ask them what they think, what they want, what they see, and how the school will meet what's right for them. So we would probably have spoken up more if one of them went along with what he felt he had to do rather than what was a temperamental and academic match.

Your DD should definitely be the one in charge of the research! But there is such a ****ton of information out there that maybe you can get involved with legwork using her criteria. I'm in the middle of spending hours compiling a list of schools for DS2 using his preferences for an academic rating combined with acceptance rate, then digging up and finding the link for each school's course descriptions so *he* can decide which ones to consider.

For an approach to school selection, I cannot say enough about Loren Pope's work ("Looking Beyond the Ivy League" and "Colleges That Change Lives").
post #50 of 56
8/20/10 at 8:38pm
Quote:
using his preferences for an academic rating combined with acceptance rate,


Quote:
I cannot say enough about Loren Pope's work ("Looking Beyond the Ivy League" and "Colleges That Change Lives").


Quote:
I'm glad you realize you're too involved, because arguing about a grown child's choice of major would be unhealthy.
Yes, it would! When I was a teen I wasn't encouraged to find what I was really interested in, based upon my real academic abilities. I wasn't really ready for college when I graduated, but I tried to be a journalism major, because it fit Mom's idea about what a worth-while major was. So eventually I flunked out altogether.

So far it seems as though dd will be able to manage college courses just fine. Basically she's more capable than I was at that age.

Honestly I'm really proud of how I'm handling this. I've made it really clear that going to college isn't the only option. She can get some sort of certification in a vocational field or go straight into the working world or whatever. Really, whatever she feels capable of doing. I already think she's the coolest, and I think she knows I love her unconditionally.

I think I could be in danger of living vicariously through her, though. So I'm keeping a lid on it.
post #51 of 56
8/23/10 at 7:45pm
Best of luck to all freshlings and their families!!!
post #52 of 56
8/24/10 at 5:38pm
I moved my son in today, and in all honesty? The anticipation was worse than the reality. Last night I literally felt that I just wanted to throw up. Today? Got him moved in, settled, had lunch. And then a hug and a kiss, told him to keep in touch, and off we went in our separate directions.

He texted me a bit ago to tell me he had to get a new Ethernet cable, and to thank me for knowing when to leave w/o his asking me to.

He is so ready for this, and I am happy to see him taking this step into a new chapter of his life.

My younger one couldn't go with us today, but they have already arranged that she will go down to see him this w/e. They are the best of friends - he can't wait to show her around, and she can't wait to hang with him and his new friends.
post #53 of 56
8/25/10 at 8:34am
Thread Starter 
We made it through the drop off too. There were some tears shed but also a lot of excitment for this next adventure. It is amazing how many little things are involved in getting my head around this change....like grocery shopping...I kept having to remind myself that I did not need stuff for her at home right now...eating dinner or locking the door before she is home...I guess it will all feel weird for a while.
post #54 of 56
8/25/10 at 12:00pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Suzmama View Post
We made it through the drop off too. There were some tears shed but also a lot of excitment for this next adventure. It is amazing how many little things are involved in getting my head around this change....like grocery shopping...I kept having to remind myself that I did not need stuff for her at home right now...eating dinner or locking the door before she is home...I guess it will all feel weird for a while.
Funnily enough, I was thinking of grocery shopping this morning. My daughter and I are already planning meals that we like, but we know my son wouldn't, so we haven't had often.

She is going to visit him on Sunday, as she couldn't go yesterday. It will be more fun for them both anyway... They are good friends, and she is as excited to explore Philly as he is to show her.
post #55 of 56
9/4/10 at 12:38am
So how are all the freshmen (and their parents!) settling in?

My son has finished his first week of classes and says that "college is... wondrous." He's making a lot of new friends, has a g/f (he actually met her at Orientation in July, so they've known one another for a bit), is participating in a bunch of activities. And loves his classes. This term he's taking 17 credits, split roughly evenly between Music-focused classes and Gen Ed classes.

We talk every few days (I leave it to him to call me), chat on FB, text. He is happier than a pig in mud. I am so glad he made this choice.
post #56 of 56
10/5/10 at 11:50am

Parent / Family Weekend :)

Just finished making plane and lodging reservations for ours in early November!

Combined with college visits for DS2, so it'll be a little hectic and lots of fun. DS1's school does meet & greets, tours, visit-a-class, theater and musical performances. What's going on for the rest of you?