Originally Posted by journeymom
I'm curious, did any of your children remain 'undecided' regarding a degree?
If your dc declared a field of interest, did you object to or argue with your child's choice?
Any other big decisions you might have argued with your child about? Or were you and your child able to discuss these big issues pretty calmly?
I ask because I have unresolved college issues of my own
and I can tell I'm going to have to really restrain myself from trying to get too involved in dd's college decisions.
Seriously, the other day I spent a couple of hours on Princeton Review's web site sorting through colleges I think would be a good match for her (fifteen years old, only a sophomore). Lewis and Clark in Portland, OR would be perfect.
My son has known for several years what field his intended major would be in. It has been his passion, and he has the talent to do well. He and I have had no arguments about it, as I am a big fan of "do what you love and love what you do). Also, I settled for a major that my parents talked me into - which I wasn't happy with - and I would never do that to my child. Conversely, his Dad has been relatively unsupportive of his choice. Which has only made our son more determined.
We really had no arguments about his choices. I did convince him to apply to a few schools he hadn't looked at seriously, simply as options due to his other academic strengths, so he'd have a back-up.
One thing I would stress is to allow your daughter to do her own research for the most part. What you may consider a good fit, may turn out to be the wrong choice. Not to say you shouldn't also do research, but it should be more from a position of suggesting possibilities for her to look at, rather than pushing a school that you think would be right for her. Also - visit schools with her. Nothing replaces an actual feet on the ground visit. We visited three schools in the roughly same geographic area, and I knew the minute we stepped foot on one campus that it would be where he'd be attending. (It is.) There was something about the size, location, energy... everything, that screamed his name.
The hardest part of it all was sitting by and trying NOT to influence him in one direction while his Dad influenced him in another. Even though I knew he would be miserable if he went that way. But I felt it was time for him to stand up for what he wanted - and in the end he did. He always knew that I would support his decision either way. But... it had to be HIS decision.
In the meantime, we are coming down to the wire. Tuesday the 24th is move-in day. On the one hand, I can't wait as I know he is SO ready and is itching to get started. On the other, I want to hit the brakes and go back in time to when he was my little boy. But that won't make it any easier, and it's time for him to start building his own life.
We do text a lot, and we're friends on FB.