April Fools in Love....or just plain old Fools??

[sugarmoon]

Well, the sun is finally shining and spring is coming at us, let's hope that new connections, new friendships, and new loves are too!

momanderson, I'm sorry about your ex -- mine was not abusive during my marriage, but freaked out in a major way about the first guy I dated and I ended up with a restraining order after a very ugly scene (in front of the kids, sadly). I hope it doesn't go that far, but I'm glad you're taking it seriously. Jealous, abusive men aren't to be fooled with, imo.

halfasianmama, glad things are going well, and you know, we all have that body anxiety, but as someone here once said, men are generally pretty darn happy if you're willing to show up and get naked..the rest is just details. Try to relax, have a glass of wine or something to loosen up, and enjoy yourself!

I'm still perplexed...have been corresponding with 2 new guys from the online site this week, both of whom I think are fine, but am not feeling major sparks about. I'll name the first one photoguy. His writing is more enticing to me, but I don't find him physically attractive in the photos he has sent. But, he said clearly that he prefers to be on the other side of the camera, and the pics are all sort of...odd angles so it is hard to tell. And personality goes a long way for me. The other guy can be...adoptivedad, as he has 2 kids who are both adopted, and he has been a foster parent in the past, which is something I really like about him as I have done both of those as well, and they are near and dear to my heart. Adoptive dad is less enticing to me in writing, but he is more "all business" about getting to a meeting..which is fine, as he lives further from me, and if we don't really click, there isn't much point in continuing. We're trying to set up for a late afternoon beer/early dinner tomorrow, so if that happens, I'll be back to update...

And as for ATG...I IM'd him yesterday to say I'd be passing through his town around lunch time on my way to a work meeting, and did he want to meet me in town for lunch? He suggested that I pack a lunch and stop by his house for...other activites, which I did and it was great.

Earlier this week we had made plans for today -- a beer after work, then he is coming to my place to make me dinner and then watch a movie...I am looking forward to this as it has been a long time since we've done that...strangely, he suggested it. I say strangely, because if I were the one wanting to detach emotionally from someone, I would be keeping the quickies, and even the beers, but not so much on the come over, cook dinner, hang with the kids...

I was sort of bursting with my confusion last night, but decided not to say anything to him until after I see how tonight goes...

If I do say something though, what I'm thinking of saying is just to let him know that it makes me feel snakey and deceptive to be dating multiple people, and if I meet someone who I am seriously interested in, I will end things with ATG pretty quickly, and he should just be aware of that. That I'd be interested in being exclusive (again) with him, but if he really isn't interested in that, then I'll be moving on...

[grisandole]

I'm on the verge of breaking up with the man I've been with for the past year and a half. I love him, but he has so many personal demons that effect his willingness and ability to give. I am torn about it and hope to have some clarity soon...we are supposed to talk tomorrow night. It sucks because I truly feel that he is "the one".

So that's my update. I know that there is someone out there for me, and if I end it with my guy most likely I'll do the online dating thing. I find it really hard to meet men in my age range...I'm 34 and typically like older men..36-46. It seems that only really young guys (like 19-23) are interested in me, lol. Weird.

[Hollycrand]

x

[incorrigible]

grisandole - maybe you should give a younger guy a chance. I've always dated older men, and my last relationship was with a younger man instead. It was a completely different dynamic, and even though it didn't work out it left me with a WAY different perspective on relationships and how they should function. Much healthier and more open minded....aside from adding to my stupid fear of commitment (which will be discussed further below. lol).

as for my own update...i did end up taking off to stay with the group of friends that Chuckles lives with. It was EXACTLY what the kids and I needed. We're all feeling so much better, so much safer and happier and refreshed. Staying there is like visiting the twilight zone. It's really unhealthy in large doses, but it does a great job of totally busting whatever hold reality may have on someone. =D We had too many grand adventures to even get into. One of the guys has a busted foot he won't stay off, so Chuckles and I left the kids to babysit him while we went to dinner with friends the first night. It was a married couple. We helped them get their new hot tub in place, then they fed us. =D It felt so comfortable and normal and not at all like something I had to get used to again after all these years. Not at all what I expected when I realized it would only be the 4 of us. Chuckles and I did a little dance the whole time I was visiting, flirting and joking...and eventually making all out passes - that the other one would somehow miss. Neither of us is any good with subtlety, and it was just ridiculous. The guys didn't even laugh. They'd just stare, like looking at a train wreck, shake their heads and walk away. lol The problem is that Chuckles and I are complete opposites when it comes to interacting with people. He has spent 99% of his adult life in committed relationships. I've had 2 in my life, and one lasted less than 6 months. His (instinct? habit?) is to just act on the attraction and the next thing we know, we wake up and realize we're in a relationship. I can see that he is holding himself back for fear of moving too fast for me, because honestly I have to step out of my comfort zone to move at ALL! We'll see how that dynamic plays itself out, eh? ... anyway... before we left this morning, I was helping Chuckles set up a badminton net in his yard (don't ask why. it's the twilight zone). We were standing around talking, and the kids were totally engrossed in some game in the house. I kind of leaned in and all sweet and shy like, asked "So while the kids aren't looking, can I give you a kiss goodbye?" I was just going to give him a peck cause I was terrified to ask even though I knew full well the answer was an emphatic yes. I got about to starting the word "goodbye" and I was suddenly scooped into his arms and kissed with...well, I'd say about 15 years of pent up desire. When we finally pulled apart I had to still hold onto him for another 20 seconds or so until I could even stand on my own!

I keep bouncing back and forth between OMGOMGOMG WOW!!!! and OMGOMGOMG WTH DID I GET MYSELF INTO?!?!

but still

OMGOMGOMG!!!!!!!!!!!!

[momanderson]

incorrigible- Sounds like you had a great little break from reality! I say just let things unfold at there own pace and enjoy the ride! Isn't the passion great?? I love the passion part of being with Paramedic. We went to highschool together years ago, so there is some long lost desire there! I don't really remember him, but he remembers me

So I mentioned in last months thread that telling the ex about paramedic did not go well. Yesterday the fool sent paramedic a facebook friends request!! I thought paramedic was kidding, April fools joke or something! Nope it's real, my 40 year old ex wants to start some mature facebook drama! It just makes me shake my head! Paramedic was a bit thrown, he can't figure out why he'd want to be friends and won't be accepting the request He spent the night last night and will be over for an Easter dinner tomorrow night. Things with us are going well, although it is maybe a bit odd that we seem to have fallen quickly into relationship mode and skipped the dating! I will have to get him to take me out next Saturday night on a proper date!!

[mumblemama]

sugarmoon, I think being honest about it is good. I find it a bit curious, though, that he's pulling away and then back in. I'd be a little annoyed. Like, hello... either he needs to realize you're totally amazing and fully commit or just back off! I'm glad you're talking to other people, though.

incorrigible, sounds pretty awesome. That kiss! I haven't been fully following the story with Chuckles but what are the reasons you don't want to full on be in a relationship with him?

Oh but I do love kisses like that. You know, I don't think I've had that many with that many people.. that were just, wow. Thrown off feet type of kisses. I had a good one last Tuesday night. I met ... um, let's rename Unavailable to Tricky Red. Ha! Stories behind that, but I like it... yes, so I met Tricky Red after a work related event Tuesday night. Just had a couple beers and talked a bit, and then at one point we went outside and kissed and such. And it's not like the first time we've kissed, though it seemingly gets better and better each time (and it wasn't nothing to be sorry about the first!), but it was like.. wow. It was amazing, tickled/butterflies that began in the pit of my stomach and spread thru everywhere else. We both pulled back at one point and said "wow". Yes, both.

I was trying to explain to a friend of mine the other day why I am seeing Tricky Red at all and really it's just somehow it makes such total sense, despite making no sense at all. Being in his presence is comforting. It fits. It's just like how it should be. I know that sounds ridiculous because it's obviously not. I mean, sometimes we meet for coffee and both work on our laptops without even speaking, and it's just that presence that is so addicting.

But it's wearing on me a lot. It's emotionally draining. We have a week long work conference in a couple weeks and I'm looking forward to spending that time with him. But I think we both know once that's over, so is our relationship. Because there just won't be as many chances or excuses to meet up, and I can't do this much longer. I have no expectations of anything but that's the time limit I've put on this. I know everyone involved deserves better.... being selfish for another couple weeks is okay, though, right?

[LoveOhm]

Hey ladies I was away for the past week or so because my computer had to be sent to apple for servicing...... I will respond this weekend as I'm catching up on life.

[incorrigible]

momanderson - wow! you're ex is something special! lol I hope he doesn't go further than this kind of stupid juvenile move, though.

Originally Posted by mumblemama

incorrigible, sounds pretty awesome. That kiss! I haven't been fully following the story with Chuckles but what are the reasons you don't want to full on be in a relationship with him?

Fear, really, is all it boils down to. It's too new, a bit too. I could give you the excuses, but when push comes to shove I fully understand that 2 people can get over any hurdle they're both committed to getting over...and while there are LOTS of hurdles between Chuckles and I, none of them are ones I consider that big. I've known him forever. He's never mistreated anyone or cheated and he's always been a real stand up guy. He's still a life long dad to his step kids like 5 years after the divorce now. He's far from perfect, but he's got the BIG stuff down pat. He may feel differently, but until I get over my own paralyzing fear of NOT being alone, I can't very well broach the subject. I'm working on it. The most present obstacle is simply that I'm incredibly intimidated in a romantic/sexual sense. He's just got a ton more experience than me, is very confident, and is not accustomed to moving below light speed. I'm used to being alone, and consider intimacy something really special and important and am just totally overwhelmed by the IDEA of the physical side after so long. I'm a little over my head even trying to date him. I'm not ready to try to think how an all out relationship would work. I think, as his friend, it's probably a good thing for both of us. We're kind of healthy opposites to each other. I feel, as the girl he's dating, very confused. lol I'm just trying to go with the flow and let go a bit. So is he. I saw him online today and he told me what a good kisser I am. I don't know when we'll be able to see each other again, though. We've both had some unexpected expenses and lack the gas cash to see each other for a few weeks probably. I guess that's a good thing. Give us time to cool off or warm up or whatever it is we need to do to approach things sanely?

[Butterflymom]

Brand new contender. AmericanInParis. He is 33 years old & seemingly painfully perfect in every conceivable way. He keeps repeating how amazingly lucky he feels to have found me. We met on a dating site, sat for hours on video skype that night, then the next day when the MarriedDutchman announces he is in love and is going to
take some time to choose about staying in his marriage or being with me, AmericanInParis phones the next hour and we stay on the phone all
night long and he ends up confessing to me his whole long term plan leading towards our building a life together that even the description of, gave me goosebumps. I've never met him live, just video skype, but I will go visit in 2 weeks for several days.
I now find myself swept up in a budding passionate entanglement with both ParisGuy AND Dutchman and I feel guilty for expressing my genuine but simultaneous (?!) strong feelings developing for both.

[incorrigible]

butterfly, you crack me up! lol Parisguy would totally spook me with all the long term talk. Is what he says what you are looking for, independent of it sounding good when he says it? You know, if you think about just what you are hoping for deep inside, how similar is it to what he's dreaming about?

[melijack1]

Hi, I am wondering if I can possibly join this group? I have been divorced since August (separated from Ex for a little over a year, but divorce final in August). I am currently in a LDR with someone I have known for 20 years...since middle school. He was my best friend in high school, and we casually dated, but no physical stuff, before I met my ex husband and moved away from home. I had no contact with current BF for 12 years, and then in early January he found me on Facebook, and it just blossomed. Anyway, I don't want to go into too much detail for now, but I would be happy to share my journey if I would be welcome in this group. Thanks for your consideration!

[incorrigible]

oh, you're absolutely welcome! lol Everyone is welcome here!

I tried the LDR thing once upon a time. It was soothing to have someone, but very frustrating at the same time. Like a half fantasy. It was similar only we just could NOT find the time or money to ever see each other in person, and that ended up being our undoing. I really need regular physical contact (not sex, just hugs, cuddles, holding hands, regular contact) in a relationship, it turns out. Even though I knew logically that he couldn't provide that, I still had trouble building a solid bond with him without it.

ooo...if some lucky man only knew what a physical being he is missing out in, in me!

oh wait, I'm sure Chuckles already does! Maybe that's why he laid that whopper of a kiss on me!

[Oh the Irony]

Originally Posted by Butterflymom

Brand new contender. AmericanInParis. He is 33 years old & seemingly painfully perfect in every conceivable way. He keeps repeating how amazingly lucky he feels to have found me. We met on a dating site, sat for hours on video skype that night, then the next day when the MarriedDutchman announces he is in love and is going to
take some time to choose about staying in his marriage or being with me, AmericanInParis phones the next hour and we stay on the phone all
night long and he ends up confessing to me his whole long term plan leading towards our building a life together that even the description of, gave me goosebumps. I've never met him live, just video skype, but I will go visit in 2 weeks for several days.
I now find myself swept up in a budding passionate entanglement with both ParisGuy AND Dutchman and I feel guilty for expressing my genuine but simultaneous (?!) strong feelings developing for both.

They both sound kind of funky to me... Someone you haven't met planning on "building a life" together sounds really immature. Red flag to me when people declare themselves too quickly--big red flag when you haven't met. Love takes some time--first 5-8 months in a relationship are really just feeling each other out. I wouldn't rush into this.

MarriedDutchman doesn't seem like a catch either. Is he the poly one? My understanding of poly relationships is that there is often a primary relationship--if he is willing to leave her just to explore possibilities with you it doesn't speak highly of his character or commitment. And if he is really poly, will he be truly happy not being poly? And being in love with you? How much time have you spent together?

[Butterflymom]

ParisGuy is coming over the day after tomorrow to spend a couple of days with me, and see what truly exists between us. Then 2 weeks later he's bringing me down to explore the south of France for a few days, and then a week after that, if things progress, he's going to come again here when my mom's in town and meet her. That puts us into May and let's see. His firm has offices right here, he already checked into that.

Friday I have a date with the DutchGuy who will be in town on business. We had only 24hrs with him thusfar. 24 more on the horizon for Friday/Saturday.

They are in an open relationship, not so much poly, per se. He has hung in there through a lot, more than 10 years, because of his feeling of commitment and an intellectual and emotional bond (they never had a strong, passionate physical/visceral connection even at the start). She's infertile, and he has thusfar shelved his dream of fatherhood after years of unsuccessful IVF attempts. She spends most of her time with her boyfriend when dutchguy is out of town, and.... he travels for work nearly constantly. He met me and his feelings that exploded for me, his enjoyment of hearing my sons and I play over speakerphone, and his desire for children of his own are now spinning his head around.

[LoveOhm]

Wow I feel like I have fallen behind sooo much in the time my computer was away for repair......

sugarmoon ~ How did things go with ATG that night? Did you have the chat you were leaning toward having? I think the yo-yo he is doing might show how much he cares but how scared he may be. Is it possible there is an underlying fear of not being ready for the responsibilities of a family? (That was a fear I had when I was childless dating a single man - yes I was good with his son but was a able/ready to be a good mom, I just did not fully know....) Is it possible he has a fear of it hurting even more when he leave the are or worse yet (in some ways) that he elect not to move at all? I am not making excusing for him but saying this yo-yo feeling may be him trying to work thru his own challenges even if he does not know they are there. Did you meet Adoptive Dad? How are things progressing with photoguy?

momanderson ~ that is absolutely crazy that he would try to friend your new man. Your ex is a really gem, LOL! Sorry you are dealing with all of this but I do think/hope this will pass shortly. I am so happy things are going well with the paramedic. This economy has everyone working harder, plus dating as a single mama just has it's unique challenges so I find my old approach of what dating looks like to be flawed. The Artist and I really did not date and it was/is the major item holding us back. He works really long hours and often travel out of town for work and I have dd 24/7 with little childcare options and I considered bailing and giving up on he and I, instead of that I told him how I felt and he response really lead me to realize the following:

I think we as single mamas need to stop looking at dating (esp. once is a relationship) from the perspective of how single women date and more in the perspective of how FAB/happily married women date

Perhaps we need to schedule regular date nights? Perhaps just ensuring you see eachother child free 2 nights a months is enough..... Regardless make date night a priority! You need it, deserve it and your relationship does too.

The Artist and I are trying to establish a date night it's still new for us but so far is really healthy for our relationship.

halfasianmama ~ How are you doing?

grisandole ~ As a single mama I doubt I could date a man who was not giving. That said, I am sorry you see the end is near. That is never a good feeling. Someone is out there for you. I always like older men but am trying men my age (or close to) and my new guy is a gem even though he is younger and less established than I'm used to. Dating out of your norm is "different" but you will never know if different is good unless you give it a try.

incorrigible ~ I have not been following your story but wow what a kiss!!!

mumblemama ~ I hope you the best with Trick Red and I am waitin g to hear the story behind this name change. Hope the trip is good but I don't think he really knows it will be over when the trip ends.

Butterfly ~ I am really happy to see you have solid contenders who are making you happy. While I do agree with the others who said AmericanInParis envisioning a life with you so soon would make me scarred I also know it might have been what you wanted to hear coming from him ---- we all like hope! He could be the one, only time will tell. MarriedDutchman sounds like he has some issues so I hope he can sort thru them. All in all I think dating is healthy and I am looking forward to updates after you meet AmericanInParis!

melijack1 ~ Welcome, welcome, welcome. I am not able to be on here often but this is a really nice group of women. I also like the forum at Ms. Single Mama which is more lax than MDC. Hope to hear more about you current BF, like do you two live in the same area? How long have you been dating, etc. Do share your journey mama.

Now I'm exausted and heading to bed but I will update you ladies on me tomorrow.

[momanderson]

Butterfly ~ looking forward to hearing about your dates!

LoveOhm ~ Also looking forward to your update!!

My Easter dinner went well, paramedic came for dinner with the kids and I Saturday night. He was great, cut the meat up, helped with the kids plates etc. He served the kids pie latter on and even cut it into 8 just like I like! I have a few ocd's! He did not spend the night but did stay late into the evening. We were both not sure it would be good for him to stay over with the kids here yet.
He came again tonight for dinner, well it was just leftovers from Sat! But he still made the effort, he lives a good 45 min away from here. He just left a while ago. He was great with the kids again, even buckled a few of them into their car seats when we went out! Did the dishes with me, and wouldn't let me wash the silverware! He said he knows I don't like doing them and to sit down he would do it! We didn't really talk to much tonight just watched tv cuddled on the couch. It was really nice to not be alone and to have someone that actually wants to be in physical contact with me. My Ex was like sitting with a brick on the couch. He would sit at the other end turned away slightly from me. Never beside me and never cuddling/kissing. I am adjusting to this but it is strange, someone actually wanting me!
Saturday night he is taking me on a date! Our first real date other than a coffee one we had in February. He is taking me to a city about an hour south of where he lives, to a restaurant we both like. Then we are going to the casino there, because I said one day a long time ago that I had never been there and would like to go just to see it! He is not a gambler, I don't gamble much either, but its nice to know he's listening when I talk and that he is willing to do what I like!

On a sadder note, my 8 year old said yesterday when asked what she thought of paramedic " you should marry him mommy, he's really nice to you-doesn't yell at you all the time like daddy" I think my heart broke in a million pieces when she said that. It is so crappy that at 8 she can recognize
that! Then this evening my 4 year old called him daddy at the dinner table, and my 7 year old gave him a big kiss and hug goodnight. I don't know what to think of the kids reactions. I mean it's great they like him and are comfortable with him, but it is sad that they have connected to him so quickly and see him as a daddy figure, that their real dad can so easily be replaced in their lives is sad. It makes me glad I left and sure I made the right choice though.

[Eaglevoice]

momanderson - My dd said a very similar thing to me. In fact, my girls just went and spent 2 weeks at their dads house, and I guess she said a similar thing to her dad as well. He told me that when he asked her about Panama she told him that "he makes mommy smile and makes her really happy and he doesn't yell at her like you do, daddy." She also has started telling Panama that she loves him. It's strange and scary and amazing all at the same time. We were talking about it today, and she said that if I were to marry Panama, and Daddy was to marry his GF, then she could have 2 mommy's and 2 daddy's and that would be really neat. Whoa....what a concept for a 4 1/2 year old to grasp...
As for things with you and the Paramedic, he sounds awesome. He really listens to you and the fact that he does those little, thoughtful things, like washing the silverware means that he really values the things that you say and do and wants to make you happy. I'm really happy for you!! Oh, but what is up with your ex sending the Paramedic a facebook friend request??? So weird!! Men are such little boys sometimes....trying to start pissing contests! Whatever!

LoveOhm - you are totally right about needing to change our way of thinking about dating. You get so used to the way you "used" to do things, but it's all changed so much for us now that we are single moms! Date nights are a must!

Butterflymom - Paris guy sounds pretty awesome, even if some of the mamas get red flags from his speed I'm looking forward to hearing about your first face to face meeting. Sometimes when you meet someone who you connect with on such a deep level, it's easy to get caught up in the moment and fantasize about building a life together even if you only just met...I can relate. I hope he is as amazing in person as he's been on the phone and computer! And as far as the Dutchguy, would you be willing to marry him if he decides to leave his wife? Do you think you would be able to trust him to be faithful to you knowing that he was in a relationship like that?

incorrigible - You cracked me up when you said:

ooo...if some lucky man only knew what a physical being he is missing out in, in me!

Hahaha! Seriously!! And I'm sure that's why Chuckles kissed you like that! Woo Hoo! I love those kisses...the ones that make you feel like you are straight out of Gone with the Wind

melijack1 - Welcome! I love facebook reconnects!!!

mumblemama - You are already there...what more could a couple extra weeks do?? Though I don't know how you can handle that, knowing that it's going to end either way, doesn't that make you feel incredible vulnerable? Or maybe since you sort of know it's not going to go anywhere in the long run, you are able to put up a little extra protection around your heart in a way so it doesn't hurt as much as it would otherwise...

grisandole - I hope everything is going okay for you. As far as the younger man thing... I guess I'd be really flattered if all the younger guys were interested in me I'm sure the one is out there for you somewhere, no matter what his age is!

sugarmoon - looking forward to the updates on the two new prospects.

Panama and I are still going strong. It was nice to have the extra alone time with him while my girls were staying with their dad. We definitely took advantage of that as much as possible and it brought our relationship to a whole other level. Not to mention it was the most fun I've had with a man like that since...uh...high school maybe We are very physically compatible and it's pretty much amazing. Ok enough said

[Butterflymom]

Eaglevoice- Dutchguy isn't a filanderer. He was a good husband through a long marriage & 4 years of IVF attempts. Eventually his wife wanted to give up on a family (backed out of adoption plans), and later decided to open up the marriage when she met someone. He has just gone along with the relationship on her terms, feeling a strong intellectual and emotional, esoteric bond with her. But passion wasn't what drew them together, nor ever present. it's been a meeting of the minds and a strong bond of trust and compatibility that they've shared.
But he's 43 & realized last winter after hid father died that he really really wants a family, and his wife urged him to have a girlfriend on the side since she did, for when he's out of town on business. He met me, felt he had permission at home, was honest with me, let himself fall in love with the woman and mother I am, and now wants to pursue things. I told him that I would continue dating others if he remains unavailable. He doesn't want that AT ALL. But hasn't decided yet 'out loud' that he'll divorce to be with me. He has been obsessive and 'taking stock' for a few days now and I expect answers by my Friday date with him here in my city.

Did I mention he's 6'4", gorgeous like a Hollywood movie star (can't figure out which one he reminds me of, it's nagging me!), charming in a goofy sort of way, warm, sweet, kind, and brilliant??? Smells great, amazing kisser, and ge will stay up on the phone just to hear stories from my life, all night and go straight to morning meetings on zero sleep? Oh, and he's a millionaire.

AmericanInParis is 6'1", fair, baby face, strawberry auburn ish hair, brilliant, 33 years old, witty, generous, attentive, kinky in compatible ways, humble, easy going, thinks I'm potentially the most amazing woman on earth, went to Princeton/Harvard Law, parents still blissfully married after 40 years, and he is ready to commit to the right woman and make her (& her children's) dreams all come true. Oh, and has a game plan already in place for dealing with the geography. He's a corporate attorney, thus his plans seem feasible.

He is unmarried, no baggage, and just very warm & positive about building his life around me & my kids TODAY.

Well, starting tomorrow. The in person meeting is tomorrow. He stays for 48 hours and then leaves just before I see DutchGuy.

I feel so player-y for juggling these men like this. but until actions and not just words start to show the reality, I'm stupid to "bank on" any of these sweet words, right?

[Halfasianmomma]

Oooh so much to catch up on.

Butterflymom...wow, DutchGuy sounds ...er...well, "scary" to me, just because from your description, he seems motivated by the desire for children. Also, the whole "poly" thing turns me off just because I was once involved with some poly people and it totally messed with my head.

Your description of AmericaninParis sounds wonderful. I can't wait to hear about your meeting!!

Eaglevoice...yay for physical compatibility! I can totally relate about feeling like you're in high school again...

momanderson...Paramedic sounds like such a good "fit" family-wise.

melijack1...I've done LDR twice in my life and both were good but SO HARD, especially when I needed the person to be there for me right away (as in, death in the family, or some kind of personal crisis). Is there any possibility of living closer together somewhere down the road?

incorrigible...Regarding your fear of intimacy, perhaps you could talk about it with Chuckles? It can't hurt for him to know why you're hesitant!

As for me, this week-end was BUSY on the Saxman front. We spent all of Friday together, since he only had 1 show to play in the evening. He came over mid-afternoon and since it was such a gorgeous day, he helped my dad take down the temporary car port. We spent the rest of the day in the park with DD, who seems to have no shame to ask Saxman to take her down the slide over and over and over...He stayed for dinner and I drove him home. On Sunday, he had invited me for dinner at his parents, so I met him mid-afternoon and we went over there. His dad is a big ox of a man I found rather intimidating, but his mother was very sweet and she and I talked after dinner while cleaning up the kitchen. During all this, Saxman was super attentive to me, making sure I felt ok (been battling migraines for the past week), and touching my hand or rubbing my back often. When we left, he invited me back to his place "for tea", and since we'd had NO time to ourselves all week-end, I gratefully agreed ...and got home rather late. On this front, I definitely feel like a giddy/frisky teenager,...it's almost embarassing!

The next day, it was Easter dinner at my family's, but someplace outside of Montreal, so I woke up early, despite having not slept much and went to pick up Saxman to drive out to our destination. I was a bit nervous of what my family would think of my bringing Saxman over "so soon" after leaving STBX, but they were very warm and later told me "he's really great!". Saxman was charming, friendly, played a great deal with DD and my cousin's older son, and grabbed quick kisses and hugs whenever we had a moment alone. All in all, it was a success. We ended the day with a nap at his place and a late dinner at my place. He's rapidly becoming comfortable with my parents and DD seems happy to see him when he comes over.

We had quite a few serious talks during our many drives in and out of the city, and I keep being wowed by the fact that Saxman is always ready and willing to discuss whatever is on my mind. He also has concerns of his own, and I love the fact that he brings them up honestly and without drama. Communication with this person is SO easy, and even pleasant. I could talk to him for hours on end. This week-end, we talked a lot about my issues with intimacy and the post-baby body, and he spent the rest of the time reminding me that he finds me stunning and isn't at all phased by what concerns me. Somewhere in the conversation, the word "love" slipped in and I was definitely touched.

[Eaglevoice]

Butterfly - Okay, now I understand your situation better with DutchGuy. I can understand where he is coming from and it makes more sense to me. I hope I didn't offend you by questioning his fidelity. It sounds like you have a difficult decision ahead of you, assuming that DutchGuy makes the decision that he wants to be with you and not stay married. As far as feeling player-y about it...well, you are just trying to make sure you make the best decision for you and your family. You can't sit around and wait for DutchGuy's decision, and you won't know the full potential with ParisGuy until you meet him in person, anyway, so don't feel bad about considering both of them.