Apartment living with a toddler?

[*MamaJen*]

So tell me about what to look for in an apartment that a toddler will be living in.
Background: I'm going back to grad school in the fall. I currently own a home a bit south of the school. I could commute in, but in rush hour traffic it would realistically take me an hour each way (it's 20 minutes in no traffic.) The house isn't fancy but it's comfortable, with a washer-dryer connection and a huge yard for DS, who is 2 years old. I have a smallish veggie/herb garden going and wouldn't mind expanding it. It's a small town and it's a pleasant walk to a couple of great parks, but not many adult activities going on.
I also have the option of renting out my home and getting an apartment right near campus, saving about two hours of driving time per day, and also living in a much more urban area with more fun things for both grown-ups and kiddos. I have good friends in both places.
My neighbors, who are really reliable, have offered to rent my house for about $100 more than the mortgage payment (I would set aside the extra for upkeep.) He is a building contractor, and would also do some needed work on the home.
I wouldn't be able to afford to rent a house centrally, but I could afford a reasonably nice apartment. (I've looked at places like co-abode for other single mama roommates, but no luck yet, and I'm not 100 percent sure I want a roommate).

So my two questions are, 1. Would you avoid the bad commute and live closet to school, trading the house for an apartment, and 2. What are the features to look for in an apartment a toddler will live in? I'm thinking some sort of commons area, parks nearby, maybe a pool, and preferably a washer/dryer in the apartment. Any advice? Is it easy to live in an apartment with a toddler? Would it be a lot easier to live in the house, so much so that it would be worth the commute?

[Anna's Lovey]

A. A washer/dry hookup, because walking to the laundry room with a toddler takes a looong time
B. Close to parks and malls, etc of course
C. A tiny little balcony or yard or something like that to do messy projects or get some sunshine when you don't feel like a jaunt to the park.
D. pools are fun in concept, but it if you have one right outside your door in the summertime and there are eighteen kids all using it at the same time...
E. Ditto for grills. Grill smoke blowing into the apartment isn't pleasant.
F. Stairs may not be a good idea for obvious reasons. But I've known some people who live in apartments with stairs and say that their lo's become very adept at going up and down stairs.
G. Gated off from parking lots and streets, or at least a safe distance from either.
H. Soundproof windows so lo isn't woken up by neighbors or traffic
I. Find out if there are smokers who live next door or above you, since smoke can seep through walls and float through vents.
J. personally, I'd avoid tile floors in case of falls, but I think that may be up to individual preference.
K. First floor. I couldn't imagine hefting trash, strollers, groceries up a flight of stairs while holding onto a toddler. Plus, it's cooler on the first floor.
What else...
parks and malls get boring, so it helps if there are other things within driving distance--museums, zoos, aquarium, etc
I'll post again if I think of anything else!

I like living in an apartment because there's less area to clean, and because living in a small space keeps the family physically close, and because it forces me to own less stuff.

[eclipse]

Since it's just you and your son, I would rent the apartment closer to school. This is assuming, of course, that you trust the people you will be renting to, have legal documents drawn up, etc.

I've lived in apartments with kids, and it was much easier with one toddler than with more kids. These are the things I'd look for:

1)There are pros and cons to both upstairs and down stairs. Upstairs is hard to get things up and down, you might worry about your son on the balcony and you might disturb your downstairs neighbors with normal toddler play/activities. The cons to downstairs are possible security concerns (depending upon where you are) and being disturbed by the upstairs neighbors. You can also look for one that is town house style that has two floors and neighbors only to the side.

2)If you can find one with a washer/dryer in the unit, it would be awesome. If you find one that's an otherwise good price and that you like, but doesn't come with the washer/dryer, there are portable stackable units that you can get that roll up to the sink when you need them.

3)Like the PP said - pools are good, but you don't want your apartment to actually be near the pool. Also, while most places have a no drinking/no smoking at the pool rule, a lot of places don't enforce it, which can be frustrating if you go with your son.

4)Green spaces to play in on site are nice, as are playgrounds in the complex.

5)If you like to cook, looking for a unit with a bigish kitchen is a good idea. A lot of apartments have tiny ones that are difficult to work in.

6)Definitely a balcony or patio.

7)End units are good, because you tend to have less shared walls with neighbors.

8)If there is a laundry room or game room/club house in the complex, try to get a unit away from them - they tend to be noisy.

9)On site maintenance is nice (not essential, but you tend to get things fixt faster if there's an on site worker.) Sometimes they even live in the complex and are on call 24 hours for emergencies like pipes bursting.

10) Since you will be renting near a college, try to find out what the make up of the complex is. If it's mostly students, it's going to be loud - no doubt about it. You can decide if you can handle that.

11) Parking near your unit. This is a big deal when you have a little one, especially since you're single and don't have someone to take your son in while you make a few trips with groceries.

[*MamaJen*]

Those are great things to think about. Thanks, and keep 'em coming.

[physmom]

Personally, I'd go with the apartment as long as you trust the person, etc. It seems like a good deal, especially if they'll help with upkeep on your home!

We live in a EXTREMELY small apartment with a toddler. It can be annoying at times (because it's so small) but it's definitely doable! We don't have anything that you've mentioned above (pool, washer dryer hook-ups, etc.) and get by just fine. However, if I could pick these things here would be my order of preference:

1. Safe neighborhood/close to work/near good schools or daycares
2. Near a park (this we do, fortunately, have)
3. Near local business (grocery stores, etc.)
4. Easily accesible (one of the bottom few floors or with an elevator)
5. Washer/dryer hook-up
7. Apartment is set up in such a way that you can still do stuff while your child sleeps (for instance, the only bathroom isn't off of the bedroom)

Beyond that, everything else just sounds like nice extras. DH actually would rather not have a balcony for the danger aspect of it (DD swears she's a little monkey). I'd also ask if you get second hand smoke from your neighbors through the ventilation. We had A LOT of problems with this one and had to complain multiple times to our landlord... "lucky" us it started right when DD was a newborn!!!

[greenbeanmama]

When we lived in a third-floor apartment with our toddler, we had two balconies (corner unit), and to make them more safe, we took plastic chicken wire that we found at Lowe's and zip-tied it to the railing - it made me feel way more safe about letting my son out on the balcony (never unattended, but three floors would have been quite a fall).

Some buildings have cement floors under the carpet or whatever flooring they have - this greatly reduces the amount of noise - just something to consider either having neighbors above you or you being the above-neighbors.

Having playmates in the building would be great, but we've discovered that oftentimes apartments aren't great places to get to know your neighbors, even with lots of effort on your part (maybe because they tend to be more transient?)

I'd take the apartment option if I were you. Good luck - hope things work well for you!

[kcstar]

What they said, pretty much. I definitely preferred having the washer & dryer in the apartment.

We lived in two different one-bedroom apartments while our house was being built, from when DS was 8 to about 14 months (just barely into the toddler stage). The first was a second floor apartment, furnished. It had a set of stairs inside the apartment to the front door (we never used), and a set of stairs outside the apartment from the back door to the parking lot.

We had to buy a baby gate to use against the inside stairs. It was enough while he was just learning to scoot and crawl, but I probably wouldn't have trusted it once he was actually running around.

The first kitchen was galley-style, leading to the laundry room and the back door. All the rooms had windows, it was well lit. They allowed/encouraged tenants to have a small garden by the front door, I think there was an annual contest.

The second apartment was on the first floor, and very dark. The bedroom had a window, and the living room had a fenced patio, with the second floor balcony above it. I think the windows all faced north, which helped keep the apartment cool in the Southern summer, but also kept it dark.

The kitchen was its own room, with the washer and dryer in a closet across from the sink, and did not offer any view of the living area. This made it hard for DH to watch the early toddler while he was cooking.

I actually preferred the walk-through kitchen, it felt more open than this isolated space, and we could see where DS was while working in it.

Both apartment complexes had pools and fitness centers. We used our gym membership instead of fitness centers. At the second apartment, DS loved it when we brought him into the pool.

The second complex did have playgrounds and sandpits, but the equipment was for older children. We had some enjoyable walks around the complex/neighborhood, and he made a casual friend or two.

One thing I will ask, as a grad student mom myself, is whether there are opportunities for distance learning through the campus?
I know a lot depends on the degree program and your goals.
I'm enjoying my distance learning, but being several states away from campus does limit my opportunities to truly be mentored by professors, serve as a graduate assistant, or learn/practice how to teach.

[dollysods]

Definitely would aim for the apt near school. We are in a 900 square foot apartment with a two year old and it is fine. We just have to make an effort to get her to the park a lot.

Definitely recommend a washer/dryer or hookup too. I think a patio is nice as would be a balcony where you could plant some potted herbs or vegetables but I think with a toddler like mine, I would be happier with a patio and would be nervous with her climbing off of a balcony!

We have no stairs which I am very pleased with. I think that not only are stairs a bit more stressful but a smallish apartment split into two floors might just feel smaller.

Our old apt was long and skinny with a super long hallway that I think would have been perfect for a toddler to run up and down. Our current apt has few spaces she can run more than a few feet. So if the apt has a "runway" or "track" that might be nice.

Your little one, like you will probably get used to any noises after a few weeks, but it depends on how sensitive the kid is. More important is avoiding smokers (not that you will necessarily know ahead of time). Our old apartment, most everyone was good about not smoking inside, but instead smoked outside, right outside our apartment's windows so our place was always slightly smokey.

I second having a big kitchen, particularly with a toddler underfoot so you aren't constantly tripping over the little one.

Having playgrounds, libraries, etc to walk to is nice. Children are resilient and appreciate the small things-- my daughter is excited by pigeons, flowers in window boxes, people watching, and squirrels.

Good luck!

[JudiAU]

I think it depends a lot on how DS is going to be cared for when you are away. If you have in home care, than a park and other toddler amenities are nice to have within walking distance. If DS will be out of the house most of the day at a daycare or other, it matters much, much less because you can always hop in the car for a few minutes on the weekends. If daycare, then I would find the location that gives you the shortest commute plus easy laundry and shopping and forgoe awesome park and library. A small apartment with a single bedroom (maybe a sleeping alcove if you don't co-sleep) and a single bathroom is fine.