19 month old won't stay still- Help!

[willow_sky]

My son Draeven will never stay put when we are outside. It makes it pretty much impossible to have a conversation or a get together with friends. He wants to run off and explore everywhere!! So I let him a few times to see if he would go and get it out of his system, then come back. But he walked about 1/2 mile and kicked and screamed as I carried him home.

What should I do so I can hang out in the yard without him running off? We do have a fenced area, but we like hanging out outside of it (like by the garden). We've tried: interesting toys, running the hose, and being strict. When we're strict and say "We are not going to run off right now" He just throws a tantrum.

I'm really lost any advice is appreciated

[sapphire_chan]

Walk and talk, get comfy chairs for the fenced area, or get a fence for your garden.

It's normal, it's a phase, and it's not worth getting upset over.

You could work on it like you work on staying on the sidewalk when going for a walk, but it's really hard to say "stay in this area" without having a very clearly defined area. Also, you'd need to be close enough to him to physically help him stay in the area if he starts to walk out of it. So it would still require you to walk around your yard with him "that's the neighbors' yard, we stay in our yard, that's the garden, stay on the grass" (over and over and over)

Oh, and with little kids words like "don't" and "not" get lost. So when you say "We are not going to run off right now" he hears "run" and then you keep him from running. So "stay close" is a better option since it tells him what to do.

Have you considered a harness? People have mixed feelings about those, but it would be a way for him to do a bit of roaming without you having to follow him. Lots of kids seem to like them.

[willow_sky]

Yea, I think I may just accept that when he is out of the fence, he is going to go go go!

I guess I'll just redirect him when he gets upset about not being able to leave the fence (he tries to open the fence door).

About when should I expect him to enjoy just hanging out near us?

I'm confused because we had a BBQ last weekend and there were 4 little girls about the same age who stuck right close to their moms and enjoyed meeting everyone. Draeven looked around and literally ran in the opposite direction. I didn't get to talk to anyone until I put him in his stroller w/a snack. He is a very independent little guy! Which is probably a good thing, but it's challenging at times.

[willow_sky]

I don't think I'd do the harness option. He would panic probably. Plus I don't want to break his "wandering spirit" I just want him to stay close ONCE in a while. Right now, if his feet are on the ground- then he is running.

I think this may be more common in little boys than girls??

[maryeb]

The only time I've ever been able to have a continous conversation is when my dh takes or watches the kids! Both my boys are like this, so I'm used to it I guess, but that doesn't make it easy. We have a fenced in yard but they loove to explore outside of it and my baby can open the gate. We bought a small bungee cord to hook onto the gate and fence, and it works until my 4 yr old takes it off. I do a lot of the "stay close/ stay near" stuff, and it has kept my little guy on the sidewalk, but man is he a runner. What about wearing him on your back if you want to talk with a friend for a bit, or take a walk with your friend and try to talk during that? It's easiest and less resistant to go with the flow at this point. My older guy is soo much easier in the sense that he will stay close by, but now he likes to interrupt! Good luck, Mary

[Aubergine68]

My dd walked early (8 mo) and was a major runner anytime we went outdoors from about 10 mo till she was nearly 5 (phew!).

My ds1 would run off occasionally at about 17-20 mo, but grew out of it and became anxiously clingy by age 2.

My ds2 was another runner. We had to put extra locks on the front door because he could and would open the deadbolt and run out into the front yard and street by age 2. He is 3.5 now, and I can finally say I'd take him out in the front yard with us, visit with a neighbor at the playground, and trust him to stay close.

[BaaBaa]

hum.... see it as a chance for you to get your blood flowing, and his outdoor classroom. he needs to explore and move, and really, so do us parents! Chat quick and spend more time with your kido- or chat on the go 1/2 mile walk is nothing!

so my vote is get off your bum mama and go go go! the chase is on!

no insult intended- just honesty

[JBaxter]

Ya mean there are little boys that dont do that? Ive had 4 and Im in love with the monkey harness. YUP I have one of those harnesses because Iv had 2 big time runners at that age and 2 that were extreme wanders. < Flame away> but they work.

[isign]

Originally Posted by JBaxter

Ya mean there are little boys that dont do that? Ive had 4 and Im in love with the monkey harness. YUP I have one of those harnesses because Iv had 2 big time runners at that age and 2 that were extreme wanders. < Flame away> but they work.

Lol, that made me laugh. I too have a runner, and seem to have the only non wandering runner in our group of friends. Of course my little girl does the same. We also got a harness and he is learning (FINALLY!) at 2 1/2 years to walk with us. Once he does, the harness will be gone.

[MeepyCat]

My experience is that some toddlers just need running room. They're energetic and curious and awaaaaay they go. We have had good luck with a harness (we like the puppy), and with taking DS to the park and accepting that we will just be running alongside him, and with gated playgrounds.

[sapphire_chan]

Originally Posted by willow_sky

I don't think I'd do the harness option. He would panic probably. Plus I don't want to break his "wandering spirit" I just want him to stay close ONCE in a while. Right now, if his feet are on the ground- then he is running.

I think this may be more common in little boys than girls??

Yeah, if he'd freak out, that's not a good choice. Like I said, some kids don't mind it.

My daughter has her running moments, but for her it tends to be to get to a goal. Like "swings!!" and she dashes off. Running for the pure joy of running sounds harder to deal with. Maybe set up your chairs and such in the middle of the fenced area so there's a sort of track for him to run around and around?

[lifeguard]

With ds if he's not confined he's not going to stay where I want him so I have just accepted that for now I either need to have him in our fenced yard or I have to be prepared to have all my attention on him to keep him where he needs to be (we live on a pretty busy corner so I cannot take chances either). For now that means I can't be outside of our yard & expect to do anything else. It's inconvenient but it will improve.

I'd much rather stay in the fenced yard & be able to relax & let ds explore at will than to spend all my time saying no. I know eventually he'll have more understanding & impulse control & then we'll be able to be more places & both enjoy ourselves.

[honey-lilac]

I have two runners - they tend to run in different directions. That's why we rarely leave the house or our fenced in yard. Going to the park seems like a crazy challenge because they will both run off. Having an actual conversation with someone while trying to get them to stay still? Not happening. Going to even an indoor entertainment area? Hardly. It's very hard sometimes.