At what age is CIO no longer dangerous? - Page 2

[ssh]

Originally Posted by dislocator3972

Does anyone know where to find RESEARCH about the physical repercussions of CIO at different ages?

Obviously, letting a 3 week old CIO is different than a 3 year old, 13 year old, 30 year old. But when does it change? When does letting a little one cry themselves to sleep become less traumatic? Not to be a downer, but I know that crying myself to sleep in high school was sad, but not physically painful, and was usually brought about by hormones instead of inducing crazy hormone spikes.

I'm not interested in *doing* it, I'm just wondering if all the research is referencing only newborns (all I've seen) or if some research was done with older babes. I've heard that the dangers are less black and white after about 6 months, but I've never seen that verified.

Has anyone seen/heard about this?

Stress hormones are bad for your immune system at any age. This article goes beyond the infant stage http://www.naturalchild.org/guest/li...n_palmer2.html .

[mamadaan]

Under one year

Hi,

This does not address exactly the question that you are asking, but may be interesting: http://www.infantsleep.org/images/WAIMH_Handout2.pdf

[GoBecGo]

I am one who's in the camp of "when it's not possible to CIO anymore" - i.e. if DD needs me in the night she might cry, but she also can yell for me, get up and fetch me and so on. She knows where i am, where to find me and how to get to me. For my family if a child is too young to be able to SAY what is wrong and GET to the parent then it's too young for CIO too. Though obviously if it's not too young then CIO isn't possible.

I don't think crying is bad, lots of people, me included, work off emotional stresses through crying. A good cry does me the world of good sometimes, but with a little child or baby crying is NOT an emotional tool but a broad one of communication. Until one can say why one is crying one's needs should ideally be met during any crying.

[2boyzmama]

Originally Posted by Enudely

Just wondering how you managed to get them to actually stay in their beds? I'm trying to dial in a better bedtime

Ha...lots and lots of returning them to their beds! I read that sitting in a chair in the doorway to continually tell them to stay in bed is one method, but honestly it caused them to stay awake longer. I did try a gate in the doorway at one point, but that worried me for safety reasons. I do now close their door because if the door is open, my 3 year old will continually come out like it's a game. If I close the door, he stays in his bed and goes to sleep. Once he's asleep, my 5 year old opens the door. If 5 year old falls asleep without opening the door, I always make sure to open it and cover them both up before I go to bed.

Both boys wander into my room at some point overnight, and depending on whether the baby is in bed with me or in his bed next to mine, I either let the bigger boys sleep with me for a while, or I take them back to their beds.

[BlueWolf]

Originally Posted by dislocator3972

When would an infant be ready? As a toddler? Younger? Older? Maybe it varies too much from child to child to say.

Others definitely described it better than I could... when would an infant be ready? When they can come get you themselves and are not left to just cry alone because they're too little to do anything about it. So, that would be around 2 depending on the child?

Originally Posted by wombatclay

The Australian Association for Infant Mental Health Inc. issued a position paper (updated in 2004) that sets out reasons to avoid "controlled crying". You can find the whole paper here, but one section is of specific interest to this conversation:



They also suggest that any infant/child should be given a full health evaluation and parents counseled on alternatives before any controlled crying is attempted.

The paper ends with a nice bibliography covering pediatric sleep, stress, and alternatives to controlled crying. Now, it's 2004 so it's a bit old, but a quick dig through pubmed didn't turn up much research one way or the other in the past 5 years (or rather, there are lots of surveys, but no real conclusions, and controlled studies are thin on the ground).

Just like in dog or horse training... you never ever correct for a behavior that is new to the animal. Corrections only occur when the dog/horse firmly knows what you're asking. I think the same can be applied to children. How can you make a child cry alone when they have no understanding why they're being put in that situation?