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Homebirth thread - Page 4

post #61 of 86
I would love a homebirth, but DH is more comfortable with the freestanding birth center that is literally 1/2 mile from our house! I told DH I intend to walk there in labor. They cut a good deal when you pay out of pocket, which is what we intend to do. I visited when we first moved down here because I was curious, and got a really good vibe from the CNMs and the center itself. It will be nice to use their AMAZING birth tubs! Ultrasounds are usually optional, which was one of my criteria, as I don't want any. I need to call them this coming week and double check that they can take me, then set up an appointment that DH can come to as well.
post #62 of 86
Jumping in! I'm planning a homebirth this time. My first was an unmedicated hospital birth. My second was born u/c in the car outside the hospital. I am NEVER getting into the car while in labor again unless its a true emergency!
post #63 of 86
We are planning our second homebirth, I can't wait!

About midwives- I'm in IOWA and my choice is a great mw for $4,700 or a ho-hum used last time and was fine, but no warm fuzzy feelings mw for $200ish because she's covered in network with my insurance and I don't have to prepay. With the first midwife, you prepay up front and then get some reimbursement from your insurance after the birth. For me that would be 70% minus a deductable I'm not sure how much. I am really, really struggling with this! I REALLY want the first midwife that everyone loves and stays in touch with and all that, but it it worth the financial stress? Sometimes I think yes and other's I think no. She doesn't reduce her fee for anyone because she stays booked solid and I'm kind of stressed because if I want a chance of using her I need to decide quickly and get in touch with her. My husband is not okay with spending that much but would if I put my foot down. We have access to that much money right now, but we recently moved and we have so many projects it was going towards and my husband is in desperate need of a new truck and I feel guilty "taking" that money for "myself".

Grr, I know what I would tell someone else, but it's a lot hard when it's you and when you do have another option.
post #64 of 86
Quote:
Originally Posted by yukookoo View Post
would it make a difference to you whether your midwife has kids? I didnt even think of this before, because for SOME reason i assumed all midwives have been through birth most likely a homebirth themselves. The midwife we interviewed doesnt have children, not by choice, she said she always wanted to be a mom but couldnt. Which i feel for, but at the same time i think it sort of bothers me. i want someone who has had many haha i want that personal experience or bond? When i was talking to her about finding out, testing excitement it sort of made me uncomfortable to be talking or trying to bond over an experience she hasnt had....

I know it shouldnt really matter, i feel wrong about it, but to me it kind of does i guess.

I will have both our moms with me for the labor i think, dh's mom had 4 kids naturally no drugs etc, my mom also had 2 that way, so i will be surrounded by strong woman who have done it before.

I took a leave of absence from my midwifery program when I found out that DP and I couldn't have children. I was so tortured by the whole thing, and ultimately decided that I wasn't strong or brave or open enough to be an infertile midwife. It takes an amazing amount of love and strength to subject yourself to the pain that is constantly helping people to grow and birth their babies when you know *you* will never be that birthing woman. So, your childless not by choice potential midwife is probably one of the most self-aware, strong, loving women you will ever meet.

There is also a (very valid, IMHO) school of thought within the midwifery profession that midwives who have never birthed themselves are much more able to focus on you and your experience and to just take it as it comes than a midwife who has birthed a babe (or several!). The idea is that once you've birthed a child, that becomes your frame of reference. So, even though you have a heap of training and other experience, you have to work a little harder to let other women's experiences be their own, untainted by your experience. Not that a midwife with children is a bad thing, at all!!! Just saying that there are advantages to both, including the fact that a childless midwife hasn't been up all night the night before your birth with a vomiting child, and isn't worried about getting home in time to see her kids before they go to bed, or whatever. Midwives are very focused, and super dedicated, and typically have amazing support systems, but the pull to family is still a strong one. Like I said, advantages to both. If you like your midwife though, and feel comfortable in her care and have an ease of communication, that is way more important than whether she has birthed a child.

getting off my soap box now...
post #65 of 86
Quote:
Originally Posted by sarahn4639 View Post
We are planning our second homebirth, I can't wait!

About midwives- I'm in IOWA and my choice is a great mw for $4,700 or a ho-hum used last time and was fine, but no warm fuzzy feelings mw for $200ish because she's covered in network with my insurance and I don't have to prepay.
Oh my goodness, this is SO the issue we are facing. We have two in the same practice who would be $20 a visit because they are in network, but I have heard from other mamas here they are not the best... however I am going to meet them first and reserve my feelings on the subject. Then there is the out of network one that I have heard raves about from here, and seemed really sweet on the phone, but I would have to pay her fee (not sure the cost yet, yipes!) and wait for our 70%. I am still waiting for $750 from LAST August, so I don't have a ton of faith I will ever see my $ back.

My last birth we used a midwife purely for financial reasons. I came into her practice at 32 weeks and either everyone was full, or they required payment in full by 36 weeks. I liked her ok, but she wasn't a warm & fuzzy kind of person. In labor she let me be, which was fine for me because I had two doulas, but not for my friend who used her but didn't have a doula and ended up being a hospital transfer because she was exhausted and felt like she had no labor support.

I am flip flopping because although my midwife was not warm and fuzzy, she was brilliant and competent and her skill and I had an amazing birth and both my doulas (I got a student doula) were AMAZING and made up for the lack of fuzzy midwife. I don't regret using her. Financially I would have had a hospital birth with an OB if my MW had not agreed to let me make payments (my daughter was 6m old when I finished paying her).

Being in a similar situation, I can't wait to meet both midwives, so I can figure out if I am going to go for insurance covered, cheaper midwives that I hear not-so-glowing-reviews about; or pay upfront midwife with glowing reviews and hope my insurance actually pays me back this time.

Good luck with your decision, I sense a lot of pro/con lists in my own future trying to decide the same thing.
post #66 of 86
Quote:
Originally Posted by selkat View Post
It takes an amazing amount of love and strength to subject yourself to the pain that is constantly helping people to grow and birth their babies when you know *you* will never be that birthing woman. So, your childless not by choice potential midwife is probably one of the most self-aware, strong, loving women you will ever meet.

There is also a (very valid, IMHO) school of thought within the midwifery profession that midwives who have never birthed themselves are much more able to focus on you and your experience and to just take it as it comes than a midwife who has birthed a babe (or several!). The idea is that once you've birthed a child, that becomes your frame of reference.
Wow. This is so moving. My first son was born in a hospital by a male CNM, he was amazing and so gentle and compassionate.

My heart aches thinking about helping women birth their babies when all you want is a baby of your own. Although I have only experienced secondary infertility, I know the ache of watching women have babies and wishing that you could get pregnant.
post #67 of 86
Selkat, what wonderful points.

Has anyone navigated insurance and HB? I paid out of pocket last time, but now that we have insurance I would like to try and have it covered. I guess I need to use the GAP angle because my in-network does not offer any HB MW.

I called my insurance company and they put in my request for pre-authorization, but I still have to talk with their nurse? Why do I need to talk with their nurse, what impact with that have on whether or not they will cover it? I assumed it would be more cut and dry. Either my plan will cover it or it doesn't. What a pain.

Does anyone have any insight or know how insurance companies work?
post #68 of 86
Hoping for a HB too! I want to do a lot of interviewing and really figure out if I'm willing to risk having to transfer to the hospital where DD was born. It was awful and so disrespectful. I do have the option of going to a fancy-shmancy "birthing center", although it's a called a "Maternity-surgery center", which makes me nervous before even stepping foot in the door.

Still so early, but I'm hoping to get the HB I crave. We'll see...
post #69 of 86
We are planning our fourth homebirth with the same midwife. With our first son, she was just starting out, and I was a bit worried about the lack of experience. She's young and single, and lives at home with her parents. But we connected so well with her... my husband especially felt most comfortable with her out of all the many ladies we'd contacted and talked with.
Now she has had tons more experience, but that doesn't even matter to me anymore. She is just so laid back, not easily panicked, and yet has a 'take-charge' attitude when she needs it. She's perfect for us, and I look forward to having her for this pregnancy and birth!
post #70 of 86
Im really hoping for an out of hospital delivery. I had my first one in a birthing center in Quebec (love the B&B description, so fitting) and loved it. I would like to do it again, but im not sure I can cover the cost. It's $1500 extra to be in a birthing center... and with my insurance being super non-commital about paying for any of it, im really not sure what's going to happen. We don't have $5000 + to spend on a birth.
So, potentially a HB for us, hopefully a birthing center, worse case scenario with a midwife in hospital if we can't afford the other options.
post #71 of 86
I'm hoping to have another homebirth as well. I still need to find a midwife though, as my previous one has since moved away.
post #72 of 86
Quote:
Originally Posted by CSS View Post
this mama is my friend and I love her stuff http://www.etsy.com/listing/44529512...ngsleeve-shirt

Another homebirth planned here. Not sure with midwife yet though.
are you thinking of uc? I did with the last two, first because the midwife didn't make it in time, and second time on purpose. Now, I'm thinking of a midwife just in case. I know one who will just sit on her hands and even not come to the house unless we ask her to... just to be on call if we want her.
post #73 of 86
When are everyone's first prenatal appointments? I just scheduled mine for the 27th of May. I will be 10w6d and we are hoping to hear the heartbeat! for that and that my BP remains down!
post #74 of 86
Quote:
Originally Posted by lawmama1984 View Post
Megan, thanks for the info. Looks like I need to add to my grocery list:
1) Nettles tea
2) Prenatals that aren't huge and won't make me puke
3) Fish oil (I'm vegetarian but MWs said this is really one of the best things I can take, so I will suck it up for 10 months)
4) Vit D3

And I'm sure much much more
Have you considered hemp oil instead of fish oil? Something to talk with your midwife out perhaps. Not only b/c you are vegetarian, but also because fish oils may be loaded with toxins.

We are planning a home waterbirth, but my last pregnancy I was transfered out of MW care at 37 weeks due to low platelets so I'm hoping this time is different. I do take much better care of myself now and have been working with an NP for a long time on raising my platelet levels in preparation for pregnancy. Keeping my fingers crossed...but open to all options, to not set myself up for disappointment.
post #75 of 86
Another planned home waterbirth here.
DD was born at home in the water and it was amazing. I can't wait to do it again.

The midwives I used for DD no longer practicing together. I'm planning to use the one that is closer to me this time, but I do feel bad about not using the other. I liked her, but I definitely had a stronger connection with the one I'm using this time. It's not personal, but I think she'll be upset anyway. Sigh.
post #76 of 86
Home waterbirth. Now I just gotta look for a midwife!
post #77 of 86
I absolutely love the idea of a home waterbirth, but I'm nervous about what would happen if I had to get transferred. I have an immense dislike for the local hospital and feel like it would be catastrophic if I wound up there. This being our first baby, I don't really know what to expect.

Our other options are to drive an hour to a birth center that is close to the hospital I prefer or just to go that hospital (which I've been told is excellent when it comes to respecting birth preferences.)

I have no idea how to make this decision and it's stressing me out!
post #78 of 86
I am planning on staying at home. I will be doing a VBAC and the local hospital requires cont. fetal monitoring, heplock, no water birth (because the fetal monitoring is not waterproof). I would only have 8' to walk around with and can only be disconnected for bathroom breaks. Great.

I have to talk to DH because I want to go with the midwife who removed my IUD. She is super nice and has a 100% VBAC success rate. She is going to get me numbers on the number of VBAC births, but she says she does about 1 a month and March she had 3. She has been practicing a long time, so I think this is good

Hoping DH will get on board with this. He is perfectly scared of me giving birth in any setting. Last time was scary for both of us....
post #79 of 86
Quote:
Originally Posted by lawmama1984 View Post
When are everyone's first prenatal appointments? I just scheduled mine for the 27th of May. I will be 10w6d and we are hoping to hear the heartbeat! for that and that my BP remains down!
Mine is April 30th. I had a miscarriage in January so she wants to keep an eye on me, plus she is only going to do pre-natals appt.'s until we move in a couple months. I love her and wish I could bring her with us.

Quote:
Originally Posted by northcountrymamma View Post
Have you considered hemp oil instead of fish oil? Something to talk with your midwife out perhaps. Not only b/c you are vegetarian, but also because fish oils may be loaded with toxins.
Actually they use the part of the fish that doesn't have mercury, so they are pretty safe. If I go off my fish oil my mental health suffers. I think my ancestors were big fish eaters. It helps boost one of your amino acids (will have to look that up) and my brain needs it.
post #80 of 86
Second home water birth for me....due late December 2010. My midwife is fantastic. If it were'nt for her, my birth may have likely been much different. I labored for a very long time, longer than they would have given me in the hospital. Still, my baby and I were healthy and strong, just needed time. My son was almost a ten pounder! I can't wait to tell her that we're expecting again and that we will be so honored if she'll be our midwife.
It turns out, that even though our insurance company had no specific language regarding the payment of home birth, when we billed them for prenatals, the birth, and post partum visits, they paid it all. It doesn't hurt to try!
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