HELP! 5 year old 'tude!

[the2amigos]

My DS1 has never been one to talk back, etc. Until recently. And I don't know where he is getting it from, school maybe? He goes to 4K. We don't talk with him like this or with each other.

This morning he got out crayons because I told him we are going to do Easter eggs today. When I saw the crayons I said "great, but we have to boil the eggs first to make them hard". His reply, "no we don't, I'm going to color them". Me: "Colin, I'm going to cook them right now and then you can color them, but they have to be cooked before we dye them". Him: "No they don't." He is starting to get grumpy at this point and says sarcastically "Fine, never mind." I tell him he needs to lose his grumpy's and jump around (which sometimes helps him out of a "mood") He goes into his bedroom. I have to get a diaper for DS2 and go in there, not even trying to talk with him and he says "just shut up mom".

So I told him there will be no Easter eggs with his attitude so forget it.

Now what? I'm at a loss with how to deal with the attitude and know that I'm failing with my responses sometimes!

[moonmama22]

Wish I had some advice... All I can offer is a shoulder and an "I'm right there with you..." My 5 yr. old cries all the time right now, and when he is not crying and whining he has got the attitude. I really just can't take it anymore. That was actually why I came on tonight - to look for some advice... At least we're not alone! Maybe someone else will have some suggestions... I'll be watching!

[koalove]

my just turned 5 year old has this too! where do they get the mouthy-ness from!? sometimes im just stunned at the things he says. no advice, sorry. just another "me too!"

[Laedi]

I'm joining this club. My 5 year old can be pretty vicious. She will demand things "NOW!" and tries to boss me around like I'm her servant (I don't know why, it doesn't work) and she throws a mega fit if she doesn't get her way. In the past couple of weeks she's started telling me that she hates me, she isn't my friend, doesn't like me anymore, etc if she doesn't get her way. And I'm always wrong. It's hard to play with her because I can't seem to do anything right.

Then other times she's so sweet and loving. I feel like I'm living with Jekyll and Hide. I can't wait for this 'milestone' to pass.

[meemee]

oh mama welcome it with both arms wide open.

our children are growing up. they are becoming more deeply aware of teh world around them.

they are trying to figure out what role they play into it.

its the age when they realise that wait a minute, the world DOES NOT revolve around them.

was your son wrong?

why did you have to boil the eggs before you colour them?

you dont have to. you might have more of a mess to clean up in case he drops one, but he is absolutely right.

arent you grumpy sometimes? dont you say the same words sometimes? so why cant he?

why is his attitude wrong? the only difference between you and him is that he said it aloud. dont we say shut up in our minds.

i have a dd so it might be different. but then again not. but at that time i didnt say anything. later i might bring it up. and express how i feel. most of the time i let it slide. the result is dd's come and apologized a few times for her attitude.

somedays i shrugged off and said i understand because i have similar days. sometimes i tell her yeah it did sound bad and made me feel.....

i have looked upon that time - that i need to reevaluate my parenting. am i doing right. am i making space to allow my child to grow. most of the time it was exactly that. i had to allow her to blossom as a 'maturing' child. that's when i started giving her more responsibilities and more 'power' or 'control' - in other words take an active role in family decisions.

that made a huge impression. i have noticed in many kids K is about developing those budding leadership skills.

at 5 i had my dd plan bfast. one day we had icecream first and oatmeal afterwards - not just icecream. i felt that was reasonable as it is a special treat day and not an everyday recurrance.

hang in there. dont get triggered by his attitude. it is normal. absolutely age appropriate.

in fact it is going to get worse. between 5 and 6 kids go thru what i call their first 'teenage years'. for a little while - maybe a month or so or two they are at their worst. living in frustration hell. nothing you do is right. nothing the world does is right.

and suddenly after that they mature. boom. a huge leap in a v. subtle way that you cant tell. like acceptance of things they wouldnt earlier.

so this age there is a LOT going on for them.

dont look upon them the same way you would look at yoru best friend. remember they are learning.



they will turn out to be well behaved kids. you just need to allow them to vent.

my dd is 7. and since about 5 i noticed the best way for them to listen to me was when i ignored it. and they brought it up and it became a huge life lesson for them.