Lending out baby stuff

[justmeandfamily]

Hi everyone! I need some advice. I let my friend borrow my moby wrap and a nursing cover about a year ago....

She moved last summer half way across the US from me. I am sure she is done with both items, and I want to ask for them back but I was wondering should I offer to pay for the shipping? Also, she just told everyone she is pregnant and due in October, I am very happy for her but not so happy that I would just forget about the wrap and cover and buy myself new ones KWIM?


My husband thinks she should pay for shipping because I asked for the stuff back before she moved but in all the commotion I think she just forgot. Honestly she is a great friend and I know she will return my stuff!

Thanks in advance!
Julie

[andtay23]

I would say, "Hey, do you still have the wrap and nursing cover I lent you? Do you think I could get those back - I'm excited about using them again with this baby. I could help out with shipping if you'd like."

[justmeandfamily]

Originally Posted by andtay23

I would say, "Hey, do you still have the wrap and nursing cover I lent you? Do you think I could get those back - I'm excited about using them again with this baby. I could help out with shipping if you'd like."

Ok, that makes it seem too easy
I guess I just feel awkward asking for it back.
Silly I suppose. I'm such a pushover when I'm pregnant!
Thank you for the response! I'll call her today.

[andtay23]

Originally Posted by justmeandfamily

Ok, that makes it seem too easy
I guess I just feel awkward asking for it back.
Silly I suppose. I'm such a pushover when I'm pregnant!
Thank you for the response! I'll call her today.

Oh, I understand you feeling awkward asking for it back. After all, you know she's expecting another baby too. But it's okay to want it back because it is yours and you would really like to use it again. It's not like you asked for it back without any intention of using it again, just because.

I've borrowed a ton of baby stuff from my sister, but I kind of expect strings attached with her. I know that when I use any of her stuff that I better have it in good condition and ready to return when she asks for it (and pay full shipping). Not everyone is like this, but I don't think it's altogether unreasonable.

[colleen2851]

It's yours. You deserve to have it back for your August baby. I don't even think you should offer to pay for shipping. If I borrowed something and moved away, I'd feel it was on me to get it back to its owner.

[AmyKT]

I think you deserve to get it back, too, but that's easier said than done, I know. I'm in a similar situation, myself. I loaned my SIL my sling, a bunch of clothes, a pregnancy pillow, and some nursing books after her first baby, and I'd like to get them back for my next, but she is due any day now with twins, and although I don't think she'll even be using any of my items this time, I hate to ask her to dig them out.

I also want to borrow some of her newborn girl clothes (her twins are boys), but again, I'm afraid to ask. I have a few months after the boys are born, but I know she'll be very, very busy.

Oh, why is this stuff so hard?

[BlackSheepPDX]

I gave away nearly everything we had. We specifically loaned our Moby's out at times, but didn't give those away for some reason. I've been honest with my friends, letting them know that we totally didn't plan a #2, and if they have any of our stuff, or other things they'd like to offer us, we will gladly accept any and all of it.

One, for instance, has our oversize pack'n'play which they still use, but have happily offered to give it back when we need it (which won't be until this little one is slightly mobile and needs the occasional safety zone). My SIL and I have swapped maternity clothes back and forth and she's been sending me everything she has, cross country as she gathers it up from other loans. Granted, her twin is TTC here in PDX, so there are two of us who may be using the stuff and a little extra motivation to share!

In any case, just be honest and ask. It's your stuff and you were very generous with it. No reason to feel bad about asking if they could return the favor.

[violet_]

I would just ask for it back, and not mention the shipping unless she's going through some sort of financial problem and you think she could use the help. She probably just forgot, and will be happy to send your stuff back.

I borrowed a bunch of stuff from a dear friend and she mentioned she'll want it back for Baby #2, and I wouldn't dream of having her help with the shipping, unless I really needed the help for some reason.

[maciascl]

Originally Posted by violet_

I would just ask for it back, and not mention the shipping unless she's going through some sort of financial problem and you think she could use the help. She probably just forgot, and will be happy to send your stuff back.

[TangoMama]

I also think that you should feel comfortable asking for them back and not offer to pay for shipping. It is her responsibility to get them back to you - just think how nice it's been for her to be able to use your items rather than buying them new herself!

I'm sure it's just slipped her mind, like you said, and she won't mind at all. Besides, flat rate shipping in the US is so cheap.

[lunarlady]

I actually went through this recently. I loaned my MobyD and a bunch of pregnancy/birth/nursing books to a close friend. Her son just turned one year, and since I'm due, I wanted my stuff back! It was so hard to ask because I was worried she had forgotten I loaned it to her and maybe gave it away or something awkward like that.

So I just dropped her a little note that said "I think I loaned you some of my books and a baby wrap when you were expecting. Do you still have them? If so, I would love to have them back for my little one due in August." She was great about it, although she is in the midst of a remodel she told me that she knows where the stuff is and once she can get at it agian she will get it to me ASAP. I know it is hard, but just ask! Honestly, if somebody had lent me something I would pay the shipping to give it back because that would be way less than buying those items for myself. Good luck!

[justmeandfamily]

Thanks everyone for all the advice, I called her and asked about it, after some small talk. She said she will send them as soon as she finds them, so I worried for nothing

Believe it or not my husband got a call just a few days ago about a book he borrowed from a friend (3 years ago), and the guy would like it back, so I guess we are just as bad at returning things...
Funny note my husband still has not read the book