H and I have had a stormy three year marriage. He has moved in and out and I kept giving him chance after chance. Not like he's done anything WRONG as in cheating or anything but he has an almighty temper and is destructive and increasingly problematic/verbally abusive and now is starting to get occasionally physically abusive (not hitting but shoving etc.).
We have decided that it's time for him to go. He keeps putting it off. "Oh, just this one day" "oh just this other day". I know he doesn't like living here (he tells me often enough) but he just isn't moving out. It's my house so I am not going to be the one to leave. But he, like, won't go.
His latest thing (he was supposed to move out yesterday, the 1st) is that he has a big certification test coming up on the 6th that he's been studying MONTHS for (this is true) and after that he is going back into counseling at the VA. I told him that the counseling appointment might not come for months, so he can take his test, then move out and hopefully still go to counseling for his own sake and the sake of his relationship with his children. He didn't like that answer.
I'm not sure what to do, but anyone have any been-there stories?
I have had people suggest getting a restraining order or something but I just don't know I want to resort to that sort of legal based measure yet.
We have decided that it's time for him to go. He keeps putting it off. "Oh, just this one day" "oh just this other day". I know he doesn't like living here (he tells me often enough) but he just isn't moving out. It's my house so I am not going to be the one to leave. But he, like, won't go.
His latest thing (he was supposed to move out yesterday, the 1st) is that he has a big certification test coming up on the 6th that he's been studying MONTHS for (this is true) and after that he is going back into counseling at the VA. I told him that the counseling appointment might not come for months, so he can take his test, then move out and hopefully still go to counseling for his own sake and the sake of his relationship with his children. He didn't like that answer.
I'm not sure what to do, but anyone have any been-there stories?
I have had people suggest getting a restraining order or something but I just don't know I want to resort to that sort of legal based measure yet.
I tried, but I haven't been a member for a full year so they won't let me.
but aren't they tired of being unhappy?) We'd been renting an expensive apartment. I found a crummy little sublet nearly half the price, for myself and our son, with the idea that we each could get an apartment for what we'd been paying for the one expensive one. (Anything was better than living with such stress.) Well, ex came along with us, saying he'd use it as a "base" to apartment-hunt from. Guess what, he never intended to go anywhere, so now we were all stuck in the crummy sublet together, with even less space! Good times. So my next step was to find a permanent place, and this time I made sure he had something else set up first. I would not let up. And he's like stalker-level control-freak. But my desperation to not live with a maniac anymore was stronger. And we did not own a home together, so weren't bound by that.
