bedtime routine for younger babies

[Boot]

What does this look like for you? DD is 6 weeks and currently has no set routine. She is still fussy in the evening and we basically do whatever we can think of to sooth her until she conks out between 9 and 12. This includes nursing, swaddling, bouncing, rocking, jiggling, more nursing, burping, bath, etc. She eventually will fall asleep 'for good' in arms, in her carseat (which rocks), or in our bed with us. I'd like to start to introduce more of a set routine as she, hopefully, develops a more predictable bedtime. Tell me your routine to give me ideas!

By the way, this is my second baby but DS was different. He didn't sleep much during the day so he was easy to nurse to sleep in our bed at about 8. If I try that with DD she just wakes up after 10 minutes and wants up. Plus she's very gassy so nursing to sleep isn't really an option for her.

[MommyMad]

I found 6 weeks to be too early to introduce any sort of routine. It wasn't until 11 or 12 weeks when I followed LO's cues to when he wanted to start STTN.

[Boot]

OK - so at 11 or 12 weeks what was your routine?

[Alisse]

We started a routine at about the 3month mark. It mainly involved giving our son a bath about an hour before he normally fell asleep (11pm), then after lotion and pj's i nursed him to bed in my arms. We'd sleep together at the same time. It hasn't been until recently that i've been able to sneak off after he's fallen asleep; prior, he'd always wake up soon after.

[gloomcookie]

My son is 14 weeks old and we started a routine at about the 2 month mark. It's very loose - we follow his lead. We usually get in bed around 7PM and read some books, sometimes do a little baby massage, hang out quietly. Around 7:30PM, I swaddle him, turn out the lights, and nurse him until he falls asleep. Once he is asleep, I move him to the co-sleeper (moving to the crib this weekend - sob). He's usually down for good between 8 and 8:30PM.

[illumini]

My son is about 4 1/2 months old and we still don't have a schedule. We have just started doing a nightly shower routine which has no set time. Basically it involves the baby getting stripped down and he plays in a seat on the floor in the bathroom while dh and I shower. I then put him in a water sling and him and I shower together. Then Daddy dries, diapers and dresses. I nurse laying down after and he usually falls asleep during.

It has been very recent that he hasn't been sleeping only while being held. At 6 weeks I was still trying to figure out my baby. The best thing that I remember using at that time was my wrap. I would often wrap my son right when he started getting agitated at night and would not nurse any more. Then I would pace the house till he fell asleep. Then I would not unwrap him till either he woke up (actually pretty rare while wrap napping for me) or I went to bed.

This is what works for me. I hope you figure out what works for your baby and you.

[lifeguard]

We started a bath, pj's, book, nurse routine very young. It never did anything to help with getting ds settled - still doesn't. Not to be discouraging just wanted to give the perspective that for some lo it's not a magical bedtime thing that it is for some others.

[SilverFish]

we're at 6 weeks and don't have a routine either... i can't imagine having one any time soon. she is still sleeping for most of the day, so i still sort of see the night as a continuation of the day, except i am asleep for about 9 hours of it, rather than being up. i don't think you can really have one until your LO is awake for most of the daytime hours and taking naps that have a beginning and end. mine also is quite fussy in the early evening... she eats large frequent meals, but sleeps between them, and usually only goes down for a long stretch at about 11pm.

[rah0315]

DD is almost 3 mo and we just started something a couple weeks ago.

We do the same as many PP:

bath or shower
massage
nurse to sleep in bed

Sometimes it works, sometimes she's up and needs to be "up" a little bit longer (usually about 30-40 min) and then will be ready to go down.

For now, this works for us but I'm anticipating it to change since she's constantly surprising us.

[MommyMad]

Bedtime routine consists of playing a little bit and sort of massaging a bit while we change him into his jammies (about 7:30/8pm). After that, all lights get dimmed, the white nnoise gets turned on and he is fed. Once he's fed and burped, we place him in his bassinet. Most of the time he's half asleep by that time. Early on he would sleep pretty much until morning, waking up anytime btween 6-8am.

Lately though, he's sort of waking during the night. We put his pacifier in and he falls asleep again instantaneously. This is happening a few times during the night now and I'm nnot sure why. He's really awake about 7-8am when he's cooing, laughing and playing. A few minutes later he wants to be fed.

This works for us because it's baby leading the way. I'm not sure if it would work if LO didn't want this. I'll also say that this was the majority of the nights. However, there are periods where it deviates. For example, at 3ish months he had a growth spurt where he wanted to feed every 3 hours around the clock. Also, last night, he was hungry at 4am after pooping. So after a diaper change and feeding, he fell asleep again and didn't wake until 9am. I've learned to go with the flow and not have a strict schedule of how things should be.

[nina_yyc]

I don't think a routine makes much difference under six months. DS is still kind of oblivious to the world. He would nurse to sleep during the apocalypse if it happened around 9 p.m.

[Abraisme]

We don't have much of a routine, but my DD does go to sleep about the same time every night. Once she starts rubbing her eyes I will change her diaper, nurse her and then lay her down in her co-sleeper. She's almost always asleep by 8:00pm.

[cristeen]

Towards what end? IME, even 3 months is a bit early to expect a baby to adhere to a schedule. At 6 mos, my little guy is just starting to establish his own schedule, and it's nothing near what I would like it to be, but this is HIS schedule, not MINE.

You also need to keep in mind that every child is different. While I hear so much about all these kids who sleep a 12-14 hour stretch every night (with or without several night wakenings for nursing), my guy seems to max out at 8 hours. Doesn't matter what time I get him down, 8 hours later he's UP (with at least 1 nursing in there, but usually 2, sometimes 3). So if I don't want to be up at 4 am, I have to not let him go to sleep at 8 pm. On a good night he'll go down around 10, on a bad night, it's closer to midnight. The trade off being that most days I get 3-6 hours of naps out of him during the day. But this is not something I would have known in the early days when he spent all day sleeping.

That's just my experience...

[Boot]

Originally Posted by cristeen

Towards what end? IME, even 3 months is a bit early to expect a baby to adhere to a schedule. At 6 mos, my little guy is just starting to establish his own schedule, and it's nothing near what I would like it to be, but this is HIS schedule, not MINE.

I think we're talking about different things. For the purposes of this discussion I define routine as a ritual, or predictable series of cues that is parent initiated. Schedule is something connected to the clock and a different thing in my opinion. A baby can't develop a routine themselves. They can (and will) establish their own schedule.

Thanks for all the input. It's helping me to come up with some ideas. I don't expect to be able to put them into practice yet but I like to think about these things and plan for the future.

[annarose999]

at around 6 weeks we started a routine with our dd to help her get used to falling asleep on her own and to move her into the co-sleeper. we were bed sharing prior to that and i was suffering from a distinct lack of quality sleep. she was also a super fussy newborn and we were desperate to find her buttons.

it started out with a bath at night. after she finished playing - she loves the bath! - she'd get washed then we'd finish up with nursing in the tub. daddy would get her out, dried, into jammies, then we'd read stories and set her in the co-sleeper. that mostly didn't work so we did some more reading and came across the 5 s's. let's see if i can run through them all: shushing (white noise), sucking, swaddling, side or stomach, and swing.

this eventually lead us to our current routine which usually starts sometime between 8 and 9pm which is when she naturally shows signs of being tired. first we swaddle - which she doesn't usually appreciate at first, but it directly is followed up by time at mommy's breast - which she loves. when her eyes get heavy lidded and i can pull her off with little resistance, i set her in the co-sleeper and put on the white noise. i always have the pacifier handy just in case she's not quite done sucking, but usually she's out within minutes. almost always down by 10pm

this all being said she recently has been going through some changes and Ack! her first cold so there's been some night waking. i have to say though she does recognize her sleep routine, even though it was rough going at first, and i think she appreciates it. now i just need to remember to have patience during her growth spurts!

[nola79]

I have kept the same routine since dd was a couple of weeks, which is bath, changing her into a gown for nighttime, eating, and rocking. Now, I don't think she noticed until maybe a week or two ago, and now she is much more predictable. Basically having a routine is easier for me to keep up with and dd benefits from it as well.

[carmen358]

Our bedtime routine consists of me getting ready for bed while my DP changes DD's diaper, puts her sleeper and sleepsack on (in a dimmed room). She brings DD to me in bed, I nurse her and we both go to sleep It is always nice and peaceful and DD falls asleep right away and sleeps for 4-5 hours. DD is usually asleep in the living room with us for at least an hour (on the floor on a blanket) before we start the routine. We don't really follow a set time though.

DD is 13 weeks.

[kayabrink]

Originally Posted by nina_yyc

I don't think a routine makes much difference under six months. DS is still kind of oblivious to the world. He would nurse to sleep during the apocalypse if it happened around 9 p.m.

This is too true though!

[mamacolleen]

I think we started a loose bedtime routine with DD when she was about 2.5 months... I can't remember exactly. Although it took a lot longer to figure out when her ideal bedtime was, and the routine has evolved a bit since she was younger.

Now her routine is:
Daddy has some quiet time with her while I get the room ready (we co-sleep for the most part). Getting the room ready entails putting on the night light, getting her jammies and diaper stuff organized, making sure I have a full water glass, etc. Then we change diaper and put on a sleeper. Most of the time both daddy and I are with her doing this. Then she says good night to daddy and the cat. Then we read a book together. Then she nurses while I sit on the bed and she's resting on the boppy (this is the only time we nurse in this way). These days she doesn't usually fall asleep nursing anymore. If she does I get to read for a little while with her on my lap. If she doesn't, then I alternate rocking/shushing with laying her down in her side-carred crib. She will either fall asleep in my arms or in the crib. White noise machine goes on at some point.

I think the key for us has been setting the environment up in the same way every night more so than the steps we take in the routine. So the lights are dim, her stuffed monkey is close, we nurse in the same way, etc. Those are some of the cues I think that have helped her to organize her inner clock to say it's nighttime now.

[kismetbaby]

I decided to follow my LOs lead and he went from no routine at all to slowly developing and demanding one. I'd say until he was 3 months old, he'd just fall asleep whenever he got tired enough--usually btw 9-10pm. Often this was nursing on the couch while DH and I watched a movie. I kept wondering at this point if I should "enforce" a routine, but then he started wanting one himself. He stopped falling asleep anywhere and "asked" (i.e. fussing) to be taken to bed and nursed to sleep in bed (we co-sleep). So we started doing that and his bedtime started getting earlier.
Once this going to bed time was in place it was easy to create a little routine. He's 6 months now and this is what we do. Around 7-7:30pm we go into the bedroom and have a little giggle/play time and then change into pjs--this usually includes some massage with oil and some diaper free time. Then we lay in bed and unless he is too tired/starving to pay attention we read a couple books. I find that during the day all he wants to do with books is eat them, but at night he actually just looks and listens. We both lay on our backs and I hold the book above us. . .we read Goodnight Moon and Brown Bear, Brown Bear. Then I get us tucked in the covers, turn on the night lamp, and nurse him. He usually falls asleep within 15 min and then I unlatch him and leave.

I love our little bedtime thing and I love that it just fell into place.