last name?

[mamacassafrass]

Hello! I am newly divorced but expecting a baby with my BF (I know, I waste no time, right?). I just returned to my maiden name. I am contemplating what last name to give the baby. My DD has her dad's last name of course. I like the sound of both my BF's name and my maiden equally. On one hand, it seems a bit spiteful to my BF not to give the baby his name...he's mentioned that it means a lot to him. On the other hand, what's up with the patriarchal society...seems stupid. Then I'll have 2 DDs with different last names than me. I had a friend suggest to go with my name then if I ever get married I can change it..however, I doubt if I'll ever change my name again married or not. My relationship with my BF is iffy anyway. I'm positive he wont have the $$ to legally challenge or get rights at least in the beginning. What do y'all think? Thanks!

[waterproofmascara]

DD has my exh's last name. Now that she is 8 she is wanting to change her name to match mine. I wish I at least hyphenated it. If I had it to do all over again, I would make sure my dd has my last name. I know I will always be around; exh, not so much.

[meemee]

are you going to put him on the birth certificate?

that might help you decide.

with my dd who has her dad's last name i wish i had hyphenated. she wants both names and i am not sure if her dad will agree to change it.

[singin'intherain]

It's annoying that giving a baby her father's last name is a man's privilege and you would be offending him in some way by giving her your name. It doesn't mean anything- just that you don't want to have a family where everyone has a different last name. That's a perfectly good reason to give her your name.

[mamacassafrass]

Yes I will put him on the birth certificate- he wants to be in the baby's life I don't want to deny him that chance. Its just that my feelings for him change a lot- he's very immature,and I'm not sure he wil always be in the picture. I guess I'm leaning toward the hyphenated (mine first, plus its alphabetical) The names are two syllable/three syllable so kind of a lot. Do most people always write both or can I just use mine for short? Thanks

[leahd]

I used my name for my son's last name, and his fathers last name as a middle name. Hyphenating would have created a mouthful and I knew we would not be getting married, so this solution seemed to appease everyone.