Multigenerational living

[dinan6]

I'm wanting some input on what others think of multigenerational living. Sounds nice something that we have talked about here in my household. We are thinking of having my mother come live with us. It would help her out tons, and we feel that it would be nice for our kids to have her around. I'm worried though that we are not looking at the whole picture. We have looked at all aspects the good and bad but maybe we missed a few. One main worry my dh has is that we will be taking on another person financially, but she does have some small income and would be getting a job. At times my mom gets sick with colds, so I also worry that we will be taking on that responsibility.. But on the other hand I think I would not worry about her so much since she would be here with us. At the moment we live far apart from each other. Any input is very appreciated.

[mattemma04]

Well my neighbor has her adult dd living next to her,and I think it is great how the dd helps her mom. I wish my mom lived next door.Not necessarily WITH me,but next door.

My family comes from Hungary.My grandma's sister lived in a small house.Next to that small house was a larger house where the daughter lived with her dh and they raised 2 daughters.One of the daughters and their dh lived in the big house with the mom/dad then moved out.The other daughter built a house opposite to the big house,and in front of grandma's little house.All together,but at the same time having personal space.

My in-laws in Turkey gave their retirement house to their one son.Then the parents bought the house being built right across from it.Now they get to see their 2 granddaughters every day.

I think being close is great,but not so sure on living together in the same house.If you get along and all that then it should be just fine.I think I would worry less about illness,and more about just getting on each others nerves.If I was in this situation I would probably want to buy a house close to mine,so I can help mom,but still be able to go back to my own home...to do my own thing.If living together was the only option I would still do it if my mom needed me.

I am sure whatever you decide it will be good.Our time together is so short,and all that petty stuff doesn't really mean much in the end.

[mamadelbosque]

About 3 yrs ago now we moved in with my dad on a supposedly 'temporary' ("just for the summer" basis). We're still there . It works out OK, mostly because of hour our house is built - almost in two different sections. The family room/our bedrooms in one part and the kitchen/dads room/living room in another with the bathroom/laundry room linking them together. It makes it so that we can 'seperate' out into two different groups and watch whatever we want on TV, etc.

[I Fly]

My dad retired and moved 1000 miles to be near us about 1.5 years ago. At first, we were living in a 4BR/1BA big house, and encouraged him to live with us. We had three bedrooms for our family upstairs, and he took the downstairs bedroom (displacing toys!). After about 6 months, we sold that house and are now building a house together. The main house will be "ours" and the garage and ground-floor 500sf apartment will be "his." They are connected by a mudroom. He'll have his own entrance, not through our house, and all his windows look away from the main house. He'll have a kitchenette, but eat most dinners with us.

We went through ups and downs when he lived in the same house with us. BTW, he did pay us a lump sum every month for rent/utilities/groceries. It was a little tense figuring out what that sum should be! I think it's almost always going to be a little difficult to change the dynamics of your home to accomodate another person. If you are committed to doing it, I think you can work it out. We did it because it made sense on so many levels - we had 2 vehicles for 3 adults, could share things like wi-fi, garbage collection fees, mortgage, and we can easily make one more portion for dinner (we are MUCH better cooks than my dad, so he likes eating with us). We are planning for the long-term, when my dad will need us caring for him more. And, we are getting to the point that he can watch our kids for a little while here and there.

I think the benefits outweigh the costs. Good luck!