Can I keep my kids in private school? - Page 2

[MissLotus]

I just read your other post about the stuff your stbx is proposing for your divorce agreement; remember that you are still in the "wheeling & dealing" stage, and can perhaps health insurance can be one of the things you bargain for, certainly for your kids and hopefully for you. I actually did this with my ex; I was entitled to all kinds of stuff financially (assets, half of 401k, etc.) that I did not take, I was trying to keep the peace - but I did ask that he cover my health insurance through his employer for as long as the COBRA program allowed, which I think is three years (he agreed to two years of coverage), as well as for him to be responsible for our son's health insurance permanently.

You can point out to him that should it go to court, a judge may agree with you that this particular school is in your childrens' best interests, and may see things your way, and that stbx is lucky not to have to pay any of the tuition (though he may be ordered to). Generally, no, he wouldn't be required to pay for private school. But sometimes a judge likes to keep up the kids' accustomed "standard of living".

Or if you don't go to court, you could perhaps tell him you won't contest the early divorce IF he pays, via COBRA, for your health insurance. (And if you do go to court, make sure you ask that stbx pay for your legal fees.) I don't know if you plan to go the court route or not, but definitely be creative.

Is it also possible, even if your job won't pay for your health insurance, that you can get a cheaper health insurance deal through the school? To pay what they pay for their employees?

[Kristine233]

Can you afford the tuition without his help paying it? If so, take the tuition and make him pay for the kids' health insurance. You can always pick up a supplemental plan just for you, a major catastrophe/hospitalization type plan. School is ubber important in my opinion and having a school that kids are SAFE in and can LEARN in is more important than if *I* have insurance. I'd rather put myself into medical debt than have my kids in a dangerous situation.

[chiromamma]

I'll share my experience because it's quite similar. My older 2 kids have been in a really good private school. The school has been committed to economic diversity and gave us generous scholarships every year.
However, every year at this time, we didn't know if the kids would return the next. Tuition went up. Scholarship awards went down. We were always able to to a combination of scholarship, tuition and work trade for the balance.
This month they just announced yet another tuition increase, award decrease and the elimination of a very successful parent work trade program.
We won't return next year and it's OK. It's actually awesome.
Now we have money for medical insurance, vacation, etc.
I'm sharing this because this is going on with private schools all over the country. Like all non-profits, they are hurting and have less and less to give. The not-knowing what to plan for from one year to the next is awful.
Do what you KNOW is sustainable for your whole family in the long term. That may be staying with the school. It may be leaving.
Good luck.

[zebra15]

Just another thought. I know you are focused on THIS ONE school that you teach at. There must be other schools besied this one private school and the local public school system. Have you sought out charter schools, other private schools, open enrollment at other public school districts? Homeschooling can still happen if you are working full time. I would look at open enrollment, or a different school. Private school is a want, health insurance is a NEED.

It seems you really like this job but this may not be the ideal job once everything is said and done. As some who may be using a private school in the future I would want to make sure all staff/educators are licensed. Having uncertified teachers is a huge red flag to me (not to jump on you or anything). It sounds like this is a very expensive school, why arent the parents demanding fully certified teachers? But back to what you need, YOU need a job that pays well, has insurance available to you and allows a schedule for your kids. Have you looked at gov't jobs, Admin jobs at the state level pay very well - generally speaking and the bene's are great.

[darien]

Originally Posted by zebra15

Just another thought. I know you are focused on THIS ONE school that you teach at. There must be other schools besied this one private school and the local public school system. Have you sought out charter schools, other private schools, open enrollment at other public school districts? Homeschooling can still happen if you are working full time. I would look at open enrollment, or a different school. Private school is a want, health insurance is a NEED.

It seems you really like this job but this may not be the ideal job once everything is said and done. As some who may be using a private school in the future I would want to make sure all staff/educators are licensed. Having uncertified teachers is a huge red flag to me (not to jump on you or anything). It sounds like this is a very expensive school, why arent the parents demanding fully certified teachers? But back to what you need, YOU need a job that pays well, has insurance available to you and allows a schedule for your kids. Have you looked at gov't jobs, Admin jobs at the state level pay very well - generally speaking and the bene's are great.

I'm focused on this school not just because I like it, but because I can (or could ) afford it. It's not that expensive, for a private. It's comparable to a parochial school-- most of the privates around here are at least $10,000 more (per child!). It's too late to get into any other public programs for next year-- I checked, believe me!

Last year I searched for jobs for several months. I did apply for several jobs, including gov't, but didn't get any offers. I also got into grad school, but couldn't go because my (then) dp had spent all the money the government thought we should have. I'm looking for jobs, again, everywhere.

As for not being certified, you don't necessarily want to use that as a yardstick. Certification doesn't guarantee anything. Many teachers aren't certified because they studied something other than education-- and they bring that knowledge and experience with them. I have 3 college degrees and 4 minors-- and none of them are in education! I learned that stuff on my own time, and I'm an excellent teacher.

Thanks to everyone for the advice.

[AndrewsMother]

Originally Posted by darien

I'm focused on this school not just because I like it, but because I can (or could ) afford it. It's not that expensive, for a private. It's comparable to a parochial school-- most of the privates around here are at least $10,000 more (per child!). It's too late to get into any other public programs for next year-- I checked, believe me!

Last year I searched for jobs for several months. I did apply for several jobs, including gov't, but didn't get any offers. I also got into grad school, but couldn't go because my (then) dp had spent all the money the government thought we should have. I'm looking for jobs, again, everywhere.

As for not being certified, you don't necessarily want to use that as a yardstick. Certification doesn't guarantee anything. Many teachers aren't certified because they studied something other than education-- and they bring that knowledge and experience with them. I have 3 college degrees and 4 minors-- and none of them are in education! I learned that stuff on my own time, and I'm an excellent teacher.

Thanks to everyone for the advice.

I wish you much luck in whatever you decide. I would starve myself and do without a lot to keep my son in private school. I currently work a job that I HATE to get ahead on next years tuition, so I understand your dilema. I know that not all private schools are created equal, and a good one is worth the sacrifice.


I agree, teacher certification doesn't guarantee much. Many top private schoolsm including leading boarding schools, across the nation only require an undergraduate degree with experience, or a graduate degree. Certification does not mean that would has the drive, desire, or motivation to guide a classroom of minds.

[EviesMom]

If it were a matter of the kids having good health insurance or private school, I would go with insurance. If it's a matter of just you having good health insurance or private school, I would try very very hard to find something short term for your health insurance, catastrophic only, and keep the continuity for the kids at that school. It seems the insurance industry is changing anyway, so I wouldn't throw away a good job and good school situation for short term health insurance on you. Drop anything you can drop, like cable, to get a small catastrophic plan.

[Usually Curious]

Originally Posted by Hannah32

Private school is a luxury; health insurance is a necessity and can even be a matter of life and death.

I would say the exact opposite. A safe school environment is a necessity; health insurance is a luxury that many of us make due without.

[Hannah32]

I understand going without health insurance if one essentially rejects allopathic medicine and goes the more naturopathic route.

But if that's not your thing, what would happen to your kids if you had a medical catastrophe and racked up tens of thousands, or worse, in debt? That could potentially wipe a parent out and result in bankruptcy.

[karkli]

Would it be possible for you to move to an area with a better public school system but still be within a reasonable distance to commute to your current job? A commute would be inconvenient, to be sure, but it might be worth it to have two very important areas of your and your children's lives (education and health) relatively secure.