Why do you work? - Page 4

[fairyannanicole]

I work because if I do not then the bills do not get paid and the groceries do not get bought. I am also a full time student at home.

[That Is Nice]

Originally Posted by c'est moi

i was asking mostly because it felt like many posts in threads in this sub-forum imply a certain amount of sadness or disappointment about not being home. i was curious to see if my impression was accurate. it was not. i think it's cool that we're pretty much evenly split.

I'm evenly split myself!

Lately, more than ever, I've been feeling really sad and disappointed that I don't really have the choice to stay-home with my child if I wanted to, and that I don't have a partner (my husband, in this case) who would support that, emotionally or financially.

I've always felt that I would want to stay home with a child. Not forever. Not to escape from working. But because I really wanted the pace and time to do things with my child and to feel like life was enjoyable.

But I like working too. I certainly loved working prior to having a baby. I even liked a pretty darn demanding and stressful job. I spent years working my butt off to build my career so I feel in some ways like I sort of paid my dues and if I want to take a few years off to raise my child, then let me!! I'll still be employable afterward, I promise! I'm smart! I'm hard working! I'd a good employee! I just don't have the energy or focus now when I'm in full parenting mode.

I feel like my husband treats me and our family like we didn't even really have this child. I feel like he looks at me and my career no differently than before there was this child to consider.

I am really sad and disappointed in my husband. He's really let me down with all the unkind things he's said about SAHP, parenting in general, me, and my career, and my desire to work. He's got it all wrong.

Today I brought up to him again how I really can't handle the out of state travel and all the tough meetings in my job. And he said, "you're a feminist. Don't rely on me to provide. Provide it yourself."

He says things like this all the time.

I really wish DH would take a class on feminism. Seriously. Because I am most definitely a feminist which is why I felt comfortable in the work world and why I am feel comfortable expressing my femininity in the form of motherhood, and even stay-at-home motherhood.

I told DH Gloria Steinem would not agree with him.

[blizzard_babe]

Both. When DH and I got together, I had the "career" and he had the "job." Now, I'm sure we could switch roles (he works part-time right now, will probably go back to SAHDing when the new baby comes), but I also really like my job, and DH hasn't found anything that inspires him. So for now, this works.