Great, now I'm paranoid

[AFWife]

We don't do WBV. There's a list of reasons and I'd be happy to list them off if requested DS will be one year in a few weeks.

DS is a VERY physical child. He did all of the physical stuff early. Sitting up at 5 months (mastered at 6), crawled early, pulled up to standing early...he's not walking yet but that's more of a confidence thing. I know he has the ability.

There's a new thread in this section (and I didn't want to hijack) about verbal skills. I looked up the "shoulds" or whatever online and now I'm paranoid...

DS doesn't do the "language development" stuff that's listed on most sites. He babbles a bit, but no WORDS. He doesn't say "mama" and "dada" to the correct parent (hell, he doesn't say "dada" at all...and "mama" is only when he's upset) He doesn't point...ever. He doesn't look when we point. We're doing a few signs (when we remember) and when I do "water" at meals he looks at his water cup... He understands simple commands (like "no" when he's playing with the vertical blinds)

Is my son behind? This is yet another reason I don't want to do a WBV because I don't want some doctor freaking me out more than I already am...

[Norasmomma]

Well if you are concerned why wouldn't you just go to an early developmental screening? It doesn't hurt, the just evaluate the child, usually through play. IDK my DD did everything early, but her verbal skills were really high, but her cousin who was 8 months younger never talked. She just turned 3 and is talking up a storm. Most 1 years olds don't really talk per se, at least IME.

[oolongtea]

I really think it's all of a spectrum, these developmental things. Every time I meet a baby my LO's age who is crawling well or walking, that child will not be babbling or making words as much.

I also think there's a lot of wishful thinking associated with the babies and words. For example, my husband and I decided it'd be fun to see what LO calls us on his own... we refer to each other by first name, and we don't respond to mama or dada, except to make those sounds back to him. So he's been 'mamama' and 'dadada' and 'babababa' for however many weeks or whatever, and my family is insisting that those are his first words (mom, dad, and bottle), even though I can clearly see he's just randomly practicing them. He does tend to say mamamama when he is upset, so I can see why people associate that with calling for mama, but I can tell that he's not calling me specifically. For one thing, I am right there! He has no need to call me. And why would he say 'bottle'? He never even sees them. But to the rest of the world, he's got three first words already.

It sounds to me like your LO is totally fine. For reference, mine is 1 in three weeks and he just started gesturing to objects two weeks ago. (He doesn't point but extends his hand towards them, which is what DH and I do -- I think pointing is rude.) He army crawls but only when he wants to and under much protest -- and he started that AFTER he started gesturing for objects. Stands when holding on but takes no steps. And as of a week ago, he has a real first word -- up -- which he uses appropriately. In the end, he's slow on some stuff and average with others and fast at... nothing. Oh wait, he did smile early.

[treegardner]

DS is 20 months and still doesn't talk. He says "mama" for most everything and "da" when he wants his dad, but that's about it. He is very communicative, just non-verbally. Our pedi has never been concerned about his not talking.

[YayJennie]

I wouldn't worry one bit about Frankie. I've seen plenty of videos of him and he's very verbal. I know quite a few babies who are ~1 year and don't say any solid words yet either. As long as he's babbling (which he certainly is!) and can understand simple commands (like "no" or "water"), I would say he's completely in line with proper development.

Wyatt is a year old and says "mama" and "dadda" pretty consistently, and occasionally he'll say "ity" and the kitty, but that's it. Some of his baby buddies are saying hi and up and eat already, so I get a bit "omg my baby is behind!" but really kids just develop at their own pace.

[AFWife]

DH suspects is due to how we raised him. We don't sit and work on a single word overandoverandoverandover until he gets it. Apparently, some parents do that? We don't use baby talk or "simplify" words (like, "bah bah" for "bottle" or something) We just...talk to him. DH thinks that one day he'll just get it and it will happen all at once...

He's not worried...but he doesn't sit and read about it all day

[treegardner]

Originally Posted by AFWife

DH suspects is due to how we raised him. We don't sit and work on a single word overandoverandoverandover until he gets it. Apparently, some parents do that? We don't use baby talk or "simplify" words (like, "bah bah" for "bottle" or something) We just...talk to him. DH thinks that one day he'll just get it and it will happen all at once...

He's not worried...but he doesn't sit and read about it all day

I don't know any parents that work on a single word over and over, but in our play group there are a few kids that will pretty much repeat anything you say. DS is not one of them. My cousin's DS is like that too. If you say "Van, say 'thank you,' " he will try his hardest to copy "thank you."

[tracymom1]

For what it's worth, DS had his first word at 18 months and it was "no". He did not have any more words until around 22 months and really started talking just after turning 2.

Yes, he was a late talker, but he understood everything we said and could easily carry out simple requests. I was not worried - I tend to go with my Mama instinct and only intervene if I really feel its necessary. We do intermittent WBV and the doc said that he only starts to worry about language development if they are well over 2 years and not talking at all.

Now I spend my whole day listening to endless toddler chatter!!! And I really mean endless...

[Katie T]

Does he understand you when you talk to him? (as much as a 1yo can) If he does seem to understand I wouldn't worry yet.

[Pandme]

Your child sounds totally normal.

[mamadelbosque]

How old is he? My DS1 had zero words till 18-20 months, around 20-24 months he picked up a handful of words - mama,dada, no... nurse that was about it. Around 24 months he exploded. Went from 3-5 words to uncountable withint he month and within a couple mroe months had short 2-3 word sentences... at 3 he's totally 'caught up' and if anything exceded his peers. And no, we did zero interventions/speech therapy/etc. He was just ready.

[starlein26]

I have yet to have one of my 12 month olds say any intelligible words...they always approximate, read: say it their own way! If he can communicate his needs to you with a sound or gestures...I wouldn't worry!

[Peony]

julian and Franklin are the same age, Julian says no words, just babbles and not *that* much either. He is just a quiet child, I'm not worried. None of my 3 have said words at this age. Both DD1 and DD2 have been evaluated when they were older because their language was very slow to develop, they were normal in that area, just slow to get there. DD2 only said a couple words by the time she was 20 months, now at 3, you can't shut her up for anything.

[boobs4milk]

since he's developing faster on motor skills, it could be he's using all of his energy and focus on that. if you are concerned you can call the health dept for a screening with a child dev specialist.

fwiw, i have 1 kid that went crazy on motor skills but the rest were talkers and lagged on motor skills. dd3 said her first words plainly and appropriately at 3 mos, but didn't sit unaided until ~ 8 mos old. she was tracked at 30 mos+ on language at 12 mos, but only 10-12 mos on motor skills at that same time.

[hakeber]

I agree with the pp who said a lot of this is wishful thinking or an over active imagination on the part of some parents/grandparents.

My mom says I was talking at six months, and then I saw her with my ds at 6 months and she'd say "Hi Benjamin how are you?" and he'd say "Baaa gooooo" and She'd shout "Did you hear that?! Did you?! he said Ben is good! That's a whole sentence!!!!"

I was like "oooooh so that's what you mean by talking!" and when my grandma visited us at 8 months and he was babbling away, she turned to me and said "what did he say?" and I was like "F@#% if I know, grandma! They are no more words to me than they are to you." I mean I don't mean to be cruel, but I don't say I can speak Vietnamese because I can mimic some of the consonant clusters, and I don't think my kids are speaking just because they can get a few consonants out, either.

Maybe I am just cynical, but when I hear people interpretting baby talk, I just think they are being a bit silly.

[AFWife]

Thanks everyone, I feel a bit better.

He has a few consonants that he says frequently...We have no idea what "gah" is, but apparently it's really important..

and I think it's interesting that more than one mama has a LO that does, "MAMAMAMA" when they're upset...

[Pandme]

Originally Posted by hakeber

I agree with the pp who said a lot of this is wishful thinking or an over active imagination on the part of some parents/grandparents.

My mom says I was talking at six months, and then I saw her with my ds at 6 months and she'd say "Hi Benjamin how are you?" and he'd say "Baaa gooooo" and She'd shout "Did you hear that?! Did you?! he said Ben is good! That's a whole sentence!!!!"

I was like "oooooh so that's what you mean by talking!" and when my grandma visited us at 8 months and he was babbling away, she turned to me and said "what did he say?" and I was like "F@#% if I know, grandma! They are no more words to me than they are to you." I mean I don't mean to be cruel, but I don't say I can speak Vietnamese because I can mimic some of the consonant clusters, and I don't think my kids are speaking just because they can get a few consonants out, either.

Maybe I am just cynical, but when I hear people interpretting baby talk, I just think they are being a bit silly.

This entire post is made of win.

I also think people just plain don't remember things correctly. My mom insisted that at 10 months old I saw her from my crib and said "Bye momma! I'll miss you!"

Ummmm, yeah, right. What was even more hilarious was the "Um, I don't think so" look my dad gave her.

[akind1]

wanted to chime in on the "ma" when upset; DS is 4 1/2 months old, and I do sometimes say, "say mmmmaaaa" and he stares at you and tries to figure it out! when he is upset, it usually starts out now as "mam" or "mum" I don't think it counts as a word until he associates it with me.

as far as interpreting baby talk, i don't really, but if ds babbles a bit, I say "really?" and we go back and forth. No clue what he is saying, but it gets the rhythm of a conversation.