Giving up naps at age two???!!!

[kgreenemama]

I sent out a desperate plea on the toddler forum and got no response today. Anyone here have experience with this?

My DS will turn two in exactly two weeks, and for the past three days, he has not taken a nap at home. He spends 2 days with grandma and 3 at a day care each week, and goes down within 10 minutes for them - no problems most days. (He's never napped well and has yet to STTN - I had to hold him for the first 14 months through two naps per day. We bed share.) After he switched to one nap per day, I could lie next to him. Naps have always been short at home also. At day care and at grandma's he'll go 90 min to 2 hours. I do the SAME thing that they do for the sleep routine, except he gets nummies at home. He sleeps from 8-8:30 at night to about 6 am. He used to go to be earlier, but lately it's been taking 90 minutes to get him to sleep. All of his teeth have been in for months.

We went out for some errands this evening, and his eyes were beginning to close just as we reached the store at 4:30 (note: He NEVER slept in the car when he was an infant - he was a screamer instead.) I kept him awake, but he was unruly until we got home and crashed at 6:50.

Anyone had a child this young give up naps or just fight them like this? What do you do with a 2-year-old all day if he doesn't nap? Thanks for your input!!!

[velochic]

Dd was a little over 2 yo when she gave up naps. What do you do all day? Um... you just go about your day, just as you would if they were 4 or 5 when they gave up naps. There's not really much you can do. (And dd also took about 90 minutes to go to sleep at night.)

[hollytheteacher]

I might be in the minority here but i'd do everything I could to help that little guy still nap. In the same way that many on here say that young babies/toddlers have nursing strikes and not weaning until they are older...I feel the same way about sleep.

I know not every child is the same (same with the nursing thing) but I am willing to bet that MOST kids DO need naps longer than we think.

When I was a kid I had 1/2 day Kindy and my mom let me nap after school. I napped until I was 6.5! LOL. Heck I'd still LOVE to take a nap most days! Some reserachers believe we'd all be a lot happier and healthier if as a society we took a half hour nap each day!

I know you are probably already trying different things but how about a stroller ride right at his usual nap time?

[Therese's Mommy]

Our oldest started fighting her nap at 2. I was taking an hour to get her to sleep and then she would sleep only about 45 min or so. Then bedtime was a bear, at least another hour until she was asleep. So, I cut out the nap. Bedtime became a breeze and it was a smooth transition. There were still days when she needed a nap, maybe once a month or so. I couldn't call it a nap, though, it had to be called "hugging mommy"

Our second started to fight naps around 2 as well. So, we cut out her nap and bedtime was a breeze, but then she would end up waking frequently throughout the night. She was also cranky during the day. So, we went back to the nap. Eventually, naptime went back to normal, which was that she would drop off to sleep in less than 15 minutes and would sleep at least an hour. Bedtime was still easy and she slept better at night. She will be 3 in June and no longer naps. Mostly this is because it was hard to fit it into our day, she was fighting it and dropping it hasn't seemed to have negatively affected her at all. She will doze in the car now if we have been out all day and especially if she has been playing hard. She never slept in the car previously.

So, I always think we should follow the child's lead. You can drop the nap and evaluate. If things don't improve or some bad things crop up that point to the lack of nap as a cause then go back to the nap. Perhaps, fighting the nap is just a phase, like it was for my second DD.

[MamaJenese]

My two kids both gave up thier naps at two. It would take me two hours to try and get them down and then they would sleep for 15 minutes. So I gave up the fight. But as soon as they dropped that nap they would sleep from 6-6 getting up maybe once to nurse (we cosleep).

[honey-lilac]

I have two toddlers and getting them to nap at the same time? Not happening. Getting them to nap at different times and staying quiet enough for the other to nap? Not happening. We stopped trying to get naps in when my younger one was about 18 months. My son never napped, actually, he was a very disorganized sleeper and slept maybe 6-7 hours per 24 hour period for the first year of his life. It would take up to four hours to get him to sleep. Now we do fine, bedtime is normally a breeze with both kids, except DS sleeps right through the night and DD wakes up for about 2-3 hour stretches in the middle of the night. She is so cranky during the days because she needs more sleep, but if she falls asleep (like in the car or sometimes just on the floor) she will only sleep a few hours in the night, and be even MORE tired and cranky the next day. The way we get the MOST sleep is if she goes to bed at the regular time with no nap.

All this convoluted info to say that if you have a "typical" child who is a relatively good sleeper, who started out with two naps and whittled down to one and is just having a little "nap strike" as a pp alluded to, then sure, keep them having a nap for as long as possible. I too agree that we'd all benefit from a little siesta during the day! Some kids, though, are just not wired to fall asleep easily; if the struggles of naptime outweigh the benefits, don't feel obliged to follow the "rules" - do what makes sense for your child/family.

[laohaire]

I don't have any advice, but DD had dropped her naps before 2.

I was never a napper myself (can't nap to this day). Seems to run in the family, I guess.

[SeekingJoy]

DD dropped hers at 26-27 months. It just happens for some kids.

I would suggest you make bedtime even earlier though if you let a nap drop. As in 6 pm instead of 6:50 if wake up is at 6 am.

[mum4boys]

All of kids dropped their naps before age 2. We have quiet time in our house where they have to quietly read in their rooms though (or on my bed as the two year old still sleeps with us).

[sarahdavida]

DS - now 3 - has gone through many changes of napping habits...i think it was a little before he turned 2 that he would sometimes go a few days without napping and I though "Wow, is this it?" but then he fell back into it again - once it was a whole week. This would usually coincide with a change in his daily expreience: travel or starting preschool - but sometimes not. It´s been challenging, but I´ve also been particularly lenient with his nap/sleep needs/schedule...allowing him to lead, within reason.

He still often needs a nap, but at this point it is often late in the day, which means a late bedtime - which is not ideal, but we really try to go with the flow, because I have found depriving him of a nap just to get him to go to sleep early doesn´t turn out well. He does much better (and sleeps better, in general) when his natural sleep needs are being met. I try to get him down for his nap no later than 3pm. If he resists, he will often just go to sleep at 7:30/8, but sometimes he just can´t hold out and crashes at 4 or so (which really only happnes when nursing, which I try to avoid at that point, but allow if I feel he really needs it). It´s not preferable, and I haven´t found the perfect solution. He is definitely making a VERY long and gradual transition out of napping. I am just trying to be patient with it...

[Friday13th]

DS pretty much stopped napping well before two. I'm talking 18 months. He also dropped to once nap a day at 9 months. If he happens to fall asleep (in the car mostly) he's up until 10 or 11, instead of 7:30, wakes up a hour earlier than usual and is a train wreck all day. And it's not like he sleeps any better at night so it's not like anyone was benefitting. I was spending HOURS a day trying to get him to sleep, between bedtime and naps. It's way easier for everyone to just go about our day and forget about naps.

[pianojazzgirl]

Both my kids dropped their naps around two (dd slightly before turning 2 and ds slightly after turning two).

My friend's son has not taken a nap for her since he was 12 months old (I'm not kidding!). He does nap at daycare though.

What to do with a 2 yr old who doesn't nap? Well, try to embrace the freedom inherent in not having to be back at home for a certain time every day. And enjoy the earlier bedtime.

[kgreenemama]

Update

Originally Posted by hollytheteacher

I might be in the minority here but i'd do everything I could to help that little guy still nap. In the same way that many on here say that young babies/toddlers have nursing strikes and not weaning until they are older...I feel the same way about sleep.

First of all, THANK YOU to ALL the moms who shared such great advice. I completely agree with Heather and my instinct is telling me to hold on to naps. I just don't know what else to do with him at home to get to sleep. He won't sleep in the stroller. Never has.

Today at daycare he slept - get this - over 2.5 hours. PROBABLY because he needed to catch up from the weekend sleep deficit. I'm going to talk to his daycare provider - maybe she has some tips. Bedtime took over an hour, but after all, he did nap for a long time. After about 45 minutes, I started asking him, "Can you close your eyes and sleep like you do for Hannah?" He said no.

[HikeMama]

I came on here looking for this post.

My daughter has stopped napping regularly and she is 27 months old. She is a happy camper though and when she doesn't nap she usually doesn't seem like she needs it. If she does nap, she naps later in the day and is up late, but happy. I think some days she needs a nap and some days she doesn't and I'm going with it for now. Seems like another transition. I don't think it's time to call it totally quits on the nap though. Most days I tell her she doesn't have to nap but mommy needs to rest (I was using my ankle injury as an excuse for a while) so to lay and read books with me or nurse and let me sing her a song and if she's not tired after a half hour I let it go. If she doesn't nap she sleeps about 12 hours and goes to bed early. If she naps it's for about an hour and she falls asleep 2-3 hours later than she would if she didn't and is up at the same time.

[eclipse]

All three of mine stopped napping at around 2. They started going to bed very early, but everything was fine.

[kgreenemama]

So, Hikemama, how long does it take your daughter to go to sleep? For naps or at night? You sound like you're rolling with things more gracefully than I.

I fear that this is connected to a bigger issue. All this time it's taking to get DS to sleep has become a game for him. Not that I think my 2-year-old has devious intentions. It just seems he knows he can get away with NOT napping for me, whereas at DC and at G-ma's he knows he must. How do I be insistent and firm without losing my temper and bodyslamming him onto the mattress (exaggerating) and gentle and playful enough to make the nap continue to be attractive?

Sometimes when I ask why he doesn't want to sleep, he'll say, "Too hard." He's a rather verbal toddler, and it could be that that phrase is parroted from some other context, but maybe it really is hard for him. Is there a throwing-my-hands-up smiley?

[HikeMama]

Weeeeelllll....

It seems like we're in a transition so I can't say this is how it is every night, but for the past two days we've been napping at 3 (which is way late for us) and for no longer than an hour. It took her about 20-30 minutes to fall asleep. I started not trying to get her to go to sleep earlier and just waiting. It seems like the longer she'd fight it the longer she'd stay awake and then wouldn't nap at all. I still don't think she'll nap everyday. Anyway, back to the original point of your question. If she doesn't nap at all it takes her about 20 minutes of nursing or less to fall asleep. That's after about a half hour of book reading and snuggling. For the past two days she's gone to sleep at about 10:30 after about 30 minutes of book reading and 30 minutes of nursing. But for a while there she was staying up FOREVER. I don't know whether that's really over or not. Sorry I couldn't be more helpful. I think it's a transition period and I'm just trying to go with it and keep things pleasant. Good luck!