ds has tooth decay :(

[natty529]

the other day i noticed a pitted spot on ds's tooth I was hoping it wasn't decay, but i had my dentist friend look at it today and he said that ds's tooth is indeed decaying
it is rather upsetting to me of course. ds eats better than anyone i know! no junk, plenty of veggies, lots of water. I do my best to brush his teeth and encourage him to brush then on his own as well, but it is REALLY difficult!!
the good thing is that my dentist friend said that i am ahead of the game i guess because i am aware of the issue and trying to fix it. he said also not to worry too much about it. he did suggest brushing of course (me w/no toothpaste, ds w/ fun toothpaste) he also recommended a prescription multi with fluoride. i asked him about the fluoride and he said that ingesting it in a chewable vitamin is different than eating it in your toothpaste, he said that it won't do anything to his baby teeth but will help to make his permanent teeth strong. I don't mean to sound dumb, but what is the big deal about fluoride?
i also inquired about xylitol, which he was very positive about.
i feel a little overwhelmed, the dentist was very positive, but i am upset and feel i guess like i failed in some way

can you mamas tell me about some changes i could make to help, or any advice at all would help!

thanks

[xekomaya]

I can tell you what we do and it is dentist recommended protocol off the veryyoungkidsteeth list.

First, we use Squiggle Tooth Builder toothpaste with xylitol 3x a day. we use a sonicare brush now because we get more brushing in less time so less fighting. 2 more times per day I give either sips of xylitol water or directly stick a little in ds's mouth. I forgot to check your siggy - if your ds is old enough there are gums or mints with high xylitol content. Supposedly ~5 exposures to xylitol per day are needed to change oral bacteria.

Additionally, we use MI Paste to help remineralize teeth. It does contain dairy so we do it 1x a week for my dairy sensitive guy but otherwise you can put it on every night after your ds is asleep so it stays in the mouth longer.

I'm not sure why your dentist friend was okay with you not using toothpaste? I would say that is the absolute first step. There are other brands people like, some with Nuvamin, but I haven't researched.