3.5 year old and poop issues ....

[elanorh]

I've read a few threads here about this over the years, but can't find them quickly. I'm looking for some advice, and will be calling the Ped tomorrow too.

dd2 has trouble pooping. I honestly think that it's because, when she was exclusively breastfed, she only had a dirty diaper every 4+ weeks (no constipation or fussiness with it, just a big project one day!) .... when she started solids, she started to struggle more with dirty diapers (actual constipation) - added lots more whole grains to her diet, and it evened out although even then, poops were several days apart.

Anyway - she's been potty trained for quite some time, absolutely done with pee accidents and no issues at night even. But poop .... !! I had thought maybe she had some allergy-related issues but they don't test out to that, via diet elimination nor through the actual tests (BTDT with her and her sister, who does have an allergy). She is aware that she needs to poop - she just fights it. She can hold it in for quite some time. We've figured out that when she becomes really irrational and upset it's usually a cue that she's gone as long as she can. Then the evening drama begins - her starting to go, then stopping, demanding clean underwear etc. refusing to sit on the toilet.

We do not push this ... I don't want her to start withholding any more than she already does. We talk about "Poop goes in the toilet," she has a special set of Elmo panties she loves and wants to start wearing that are waiting until she's using the toilet instead of her undies. We encourage her - have had a little success with her sitting on the toilet and watching a favorite movie, once she's started to go (and still fighting it). She eats plenty of whole grains and fresh fruit (less so on veggies) so she is getting enough fiber; she's not 'constipated' per se, but when she goes, it's tightly packed from being held in so long.... which hurts .... which means she avoids .... and repeat the cycle.

I've read on here that there is a good fiber source/laxative which is safe to use for awhile - and that sometimes that's what it takes, just giving that laxative for a month or however long it takes for kiddo to figure out that they need to respond to the urge to go. I don't want to mess up her system by giving her the wrong stuff .... but I do know that as she is handling things right now, her system is suffering.

Any advice, suggestions, etc. are welcome.

[elanorh]

BUMP

Well, at dd1's well-child appointment, I asked our Pediatrician.

She said it sounds to her like dd2's diet is *not* lacking in fiber -- so this is 'just' withholding --- she said therefore, she doesn't see any reason to use Miralax, and instead, to use mineral oil. She said - 1 tsp. in a drink (well mixed) at night before bed, and after a week or so, dd2 should start reliably having to poop in the morning (she usually poops at night, I think because she's holding it in as. much. as. possible. as long as possible ). She said we might need to up the mineral oil a bit and then just taper it off.

Thoughts? Anyone tried it? I need to go research it.

[Pumpkin_Pie]

I just came on here to post this exact thing. DS has just started fighing pooping on the potty. He has been completely potty trained for about a month and a half now, which doesn't sound all that long, but he was having almost NO accidents, and definitely no poop accidents, but suddenly he is holding his poop in to the point of it being painful to actually go. He will still go on the potty if he is naked at home, but he absolutely refuses to go while at daycare (nearly a 10 hour day for him on Thursdays). He strains and grunts while sitting on the couch, and if I ask him to go sit on the potty, he will say that he doesn't need to poop, or start crying and say that he pooped in his underwear.

I did buy him some PediaLax meltaway strips, and gave him one last night, but this morning he had a hard poop that didn't make it into the potty again with some looser bm along with it. (sorry if that was way tmi) I just gave him another strip and we will see how that goes. His ped also recommended using mineral oil, but I guess I just feel a little weird about using it. I guess it would have less ingredients than the PediaLax. Not sure what to do at this point.

Just wanted to let you know you are not alone, and it is so hard to see them in pain and to deal with poopy underwear.

[Aquitane]

Oh, ladies, this is the story of DD's life!

She was a withholder! She did not want to poop! It started at 3.5 years and it has just gotten better this year at age 7!

This is what we've done, but I think a large part of it is DD getting older and understanding her situation better:

Make sure she's eating well, getting enough fiber
Having her sit on the potty for 10 minutes every evening
(Sometimes this was 10 minutes in the a.m., as well)
Using Miralax to soften the poop
Don't make a big deal about it

What happens is that when they withhold it actually distends the bowel, which our ped. said is elastic-like. So when it gets distended, it stays that way, which allows more poop to build up, get distended more, etc. It's a vicious circle.

Our daughter still does not go everyday. I think that there are some people who do not have a BM everyday, I know I don't and I know someone who only has one a week. Our ped. wants her going every day, but as long as she goes every two days or so, I'm happy.

If you have any more questions, pm me. We've gone through this for years, as you can see. We've tried a lot of things, but our current routine seems to work although I don't think we are completely out of the woods yet.

[Aquitane]

I wanted to add that the other ped. in our office who we don't see very often actually suggested that DD see a psychologist about this. She feels that it is a mental problem that becomes a physical one. I kind of agree, but we couldn't afford a psychologist, so we didn't take her. Also we were a bit squeamish about it too. I think that if the problem makes a tremendous resurgence we would consider it.

[Pumpkin_Pie]

I am pretty sure that my son's not going is directly related to him not wanting to poop at his daycare/preschool. When he is at home, he will usually poop 3-4 times per day (yup, he is a super pooper ) and when he is naked, he will go to the potty every time without fail. When he is at school though, he will not poop there. Ever. When he was in diapers, he would, but now that he is in underwear full time, he refuses to poop there. Pooping in his underwear at home is pretty new, but he has been having such painful poops on the potty that I think that is his way of dealing with it.

I spoke with a friend today about it, and she said to just carry extra underwear with me everywhere we go, and not make it into a big deal at all. I am going to make sure he eats tons of fruits and veggies, feed him as much apple juice as he wants for the next few days, and just deal with the pooping until he gets it under control. It is so hard to see our kiddos hurting and being afraid to go to the bathroom, here's hoping all of us can get our kids back on track soon.

[Violet2]

You know, I've been procrastinating on some (yummy) recipes we've used with good success with DD. They've turned her into a pooping machine.

I'll get them typed up and posted and come back with some linkys.

V

[Violet2]

Here are the recipes. DD gets a muffin at bfast along with some prunes and then a cookie as a snack. This has done the trick for us.

Pooping muffins

Cookies to make 'em poop

V

[eepster]

Mineral oil is a byproduct of refining petroleum into gasoline and such. There is no way I would feed it to someone.

Stewed prunes will get things moving just as smoothly as mineral oil will and it is made out of food. I would not do it when she hasn't gone for really long time though since there would be hard poops blocking the softer poops. I'd do it the day after she has pooped to try to get her going more frequently.

I know you've said she gets lots of fiber from whole grains and fruit, but some types of fiber are actually kind of binding for some people. Everybody's systems work differently. (warning TMI coming) For example I find the type of fiber in cheerios slows me down, but the fiber of soymilk is just what I need. DS's pediatrician told me applesauce was binding, but it really gets DS going. A few glasses of prune juice are perfect for DH. So you might need to experiment a bit.

I'd focus on getting her comfortable with pooping in general before worrying too much about the potty.

ETA: Also, look at things that might be causing the problem. Certain foods will cause hard poops even if the diet contains fiber. Cheese, chocolate, and meat are all possible constipatores. So, along with adding things to get her going limiting things that constipate can help.

[greeny]

Unfortunately, I know about this issue from experience too!

I'll post more later (baby nursing now), but what has helped us most:

Having ds sit on the toilet twice a day - once in the morning and once after dinner. For 10 minutes each time. Doesn't matter if he poops or not, but eventually he started going regularly (at least every other day). We keep a chart and check off each time to make sure we remember to do it every time. You could offer a prize just for the sitting if you want (like every week or something.)