Moving and a new baby at the same time...too much for a 3 yr old?

[BarnMomma]

Our house was on the market for a year last year with only one nibble. We let it rest for 6 months, lowered the price a bit and recently relisted. There has been a ton of interest right away.

We have also finally found the house we want and could possibly get it for a STEAL since it's not currently listed but I kknow they are still interested in selling. It's our dream house, and it would even cut our living costs by almost 60%. It would also be a move from the burbs to the country. Our son would have 15 acres to run and play on, our horses could live with us and not be boarded, I could expand my gardening, etc etc. A good life for all. And what I think would financially be a smart move.

We have an offer in from a couple who would need us to close June 1st. They can't budge because they need to be out of their house by then. If they don't buy our house they will most likely buy the one for sale across the street from us but our house is their first choice.

We also have another interested party who have not yet made an offer but are coming back with their architect for a second look.

Here's the catch. I'm due to have our daughter on June 28th. I'm planning a hospital birth VBAC w/ midwives but I will be doing 90% of my laboring at home. My midwives really don't want me at the hospital until I'm ready to pop. They are really rooting for me to have a successful VBAC and they feel the longer I can be at home the better. So I want a calm peaceful surroundings for that of course. I'm VERY sensitive to environments.

Also I'm concerned for DS who will 3 on 7/12. I'm concerned that a new baby and a new home might be very overwhelming for him. I wish we could push the closing to September to give him a chance to get used to his new siblign before we uproot him. We have been having talks about the new house and of course his new little sister but I feel the talks will fall short when the actual move or baby actually become realities. He's such an easy going little guy but he's also very sensitive.

And I want the ability to have a baby peacefully and recover and deal with a newborn peacefully.

But I don't want to miss the chance to sell our house becasue in today's market you never know when another offer might come along.

The other question is wow, I hope we GET the other house. We're banking on this family accepting our offer(which is a very good offer), which of course we can't offcially make until we have an agreed upon offer for this house. So that worries me. Where will I be in labor? In a hotel? In a rented house? Too many unknowns so close to my due date. I'm much much to anal for all of these unknowns. I like things set and secure.

So wwyd?

I'm concerned for my birth, my little DS, and our future home. Not sure what to do. I guess I never expected things to move so quickly this time around.

[BarnMomma]

Anyone?

[cjam]

I moved with a baby and a two year old and the two year old wasn't stressed at all. She was excited about the new house. We had prepped her for months that we were going to a new house and she was thrilled. If it were me, I'd go for it. I could handle short term chaos for long term benefit. Will you have a lot of help with the move and set up of the new house? You won't be able to do much moving, packing and unpacking when you are very pregnant or have a new baby in the house. That just may be the deciding factor.

[waiting2bemommy]

we just moved in to our new place on the 1st. I have a 2 year old and am 39 weeks pregnant. exhausting, yes, but definitely doable. It helped that I brought him to see thenew house and then included him on one trip between the old apt and the new house. He put some of hi toys, and his hamster, in the car, and the got to carry them in over here. he helped me put together his new bed, an slept in it htefirst night with no issues (which really, REALLY surprised me).

I guess I would say, don't overthink it. Kids are a lot more adaptable than we sometimes give them credit for. My ds is sensitive as well and has difficulty with transitions of any kind, so I definitely expected it to be a lot harder than it has turned out to be.

I would plan though togive yourself a full day of childcare after the move to unpack without a child underfoot.That has been the only challenge for me...ds is very "helpful" and with limite energydue topregnancy that can be hard.

[grniys]

I think kids are a lot more resilient than we give them credit for being. I think it'll be fine so long as you give him lots of reassurance. Make it out to be an adventure.

I would go for it.

Things may be hectic for the next few months, but if this is your dream house... well, a hectic few months is totally worth not looking back with regrets for several years, yeah?

Good luck with whatever you decide!

[Hey Mama!]

I feel you might as well do it all at once, instead of having the baby then a couple months later moving. The second way seems to drag out the changes. As for your birth...I really don't have any advice about that. I wish you peace in your decision, whichever one you choose.

[Linda on the move]

Who will be staying with your son while you in the hospital? Having a trusted adult (such as a grandmother aunt or old friend) stay at our new house for a few weeks could be wonderful. They could love on your 3 year old and help get things more organized.

It may be bumpy for your family for a little while, but that part is really temporary. Things will calm down. I think that having our second child was one of the best things we ever did for our first. They are so precious to each other now.

[Eman'smom]

Originally Posted by grniys

I think kids are a lot more resilient than we give them credit for being. I think it'll be fine so long as you give him lots of reassurance. Make it out to be an adventure.

I would go for it.

Things may be hectic for the next few months, but if this is your dream house... well, a hectic few months is totally worth not looking back with regrets for several years, yeah?

Good luck with whatever you decide!

Yes to all this.


We moved when ds just turned 3 and dd was 8 months, ds did wonderfully. He was super excited and loved every minute of it.

If they need to be in the house by the 1st, that really gives you a month to settle in and get comfy in your new space. Will it be stressful sure but so worth it in the end. I personally feel moving with the baby on the inside would be easier than on the outside.

[mama2myloves]

I would go for it, too.

We moved at the beginning of November when DS was 3. Our DD2 was born at the end of November. We had some adjustment pains for the first few weeks (nothing out of the usual, I believe) but all in all DS handled everything beautifully.

Good luck!

[To-Fu]

Originally Posted by grniys

I think kids are a lot more resilient than we give them credit for being. I think it'll be fine so long as you give him lots of reassurance. Make it out to be an adventure.

I would go for it.

Things may be hectic for the next few months, but if this is your dream house... well, a hectic few months is totally worth not looking back with regrets for several years, yeah?

Good luck with whatever you decide!

Yep to all this!

I'm due at the end of May and I have a 26mo. We are planning a home birth and just moved into a new house. It was totally worth it! And we also talked with the toddler a lot about moving. He was a little clingier and nursier than usual, but other than that didn't seem too phased. Did I mention he's getting his two-year molars? Whee!

Another thing to consider about moving is that if you're laboring at home for 90% of the time, won't it be nice to have those memories in the new house where you will presumably stay for a long time? That was part of my motivation, since we're having a home birth. I didn't want to labor and have the baby and then suddenly move.

In your case, what if another dream offer came up while you were a few weeks or months post partum? I would think it'd be easier to do the move now rather than later. Babies are so much easier to care for while they're still on the inside.

[pianojazzgirl]

As a mama who VBACed her 2nd dc (and stayed at home until it was time to push) and whose older dc was 3 yrs old at the time and who is very sensitive to environments... I can totally understand your reservations. But, I think this opportunity sounds too good to give up. So I put in another vote for "go for it"!

Keep us updated with your decision!

[eepster]

My one worry about it when I first saw the thread was; he would blame the baby for up rooting him. However, since you've been planning to move for a while and getting him excited about the new house with room to play and horses, he might blame the new baby for ruining the plans if you don't move.

I'm sure it will be stressful for everyone involved (except the baby ) but it sounds like it will be worth it in the long run.

Would it be possible to try and move up the closing date a bit so you will be better settled into the new house before you go into labor. Also you could have your DS's b-day party in your huge new yard.

[ElliesMomma]

sounds like it's all falling into place... an offer on your house; a new place in the offing. you will need the new place for your expanding family.

labor and delivery is one day in your life. the adjustment to a new baby is, like, six months out of your lives.

things will work out.

what you have to do is make a decision to go for it, and then commit yourself to doing what you need to do to get the other elements wrapped around it (labor and delivery and the adjustment to the new baby).

think about it this way: if you decided to cancel the real estate deals in deference to labor and delivery and the adjustment to a new baby... think about what an impact that would have on the rest of your lives.

and ps: in my experience with laboring at home and going on to have natural deliveries at hospitals, it is best to *keep busy* and focus on other things, rather than the pain of contractions. to this end, you might be doing yourself a real favor by moving when you do. like, if you have a million things to organize and put away, that will be a powerful distraction, allowing you to get through most of labor before you go to the hospital.

[ollyoxenfree]

We did it. DH had moved to a different city to work, while I finished graduate school and DS, age 3 yo. stayed with me. I finished graduate school on a Monday and had a natural delivery of our second baby on the Friday (DH arrived just in time for the delivery, but missed all of the labour!). About 6 weeks later, we all moved to the new city where DH was working.

We relied on our support network of friends and family to help us. At the time, DS attended a Montessori school and had his own friends and daily activities. I believe this eased his adjustment to the arrival of his baby sister. They have always had a good relationship. He's well adjusted. We've moved several times since then and he's grown into a very social, adaptable, flexible person. He's 17 y.o. now and planning a gap year trip overseas now.

You do what you have to do. If it's important, you'll find a way. Best wishes with all of life's changes and challenges.

[BarnMomma]

Thanks so much for all of the replies! I feel much better about the situation.

I told DH that if it came down to moving 6/1 then it would be OK with me. We'd be making a nice profit from the sale of our place vs. the cost of the new place so I don't want to miss that oppurtunity.

How did you all prepare your LOs for the move?

[Hey Mama!]

Well I've moved mine so much that it's second nature. I guess I'd take him to the new house and show him around, put special emphasis on his new room, the fact that the horse will be right outside, etc. I think if you are not too stressed or apprehensive about the move, then he won't be either.