i do enjoy this thread. introduction
zoebird online; jenifer irl. mother to hawk, wife to ryan. we live in wellington, nz, having moved here from pennsylvania. we own our own business--a holistic health center. i teach yoga.discuss what brought you to this place
this is a lot of stuff to talk about. hmm.
i guess it starts at about age 27 or so. just before i turned 27, i realized that when i was younger, DH and i talked about having kids at age 27. and yet, i felt no where near ready, and my lifestyle was such that there was no way i was ready. we just knew we didn't want to bring a kid into the mix.
we had a vision of how we wanted to live when having a kid. there were things we wanted and things we didn't want. and so we set goals to make that possible, to create that. and then set to work on it.
after 5 yrs of effort, we achieved most of our goals, and emotionally felt ready to have a kid. so, we did.
this put into stark relief for us how we needed to really go for the gusto. go for all of it.
what we had achieved emotionally, spiritually, and financially were excellent. but we had still hedged toward our parent's values, seeking their approval and inclusion. we'd stayed safe in some ways, rather than taking necessary risks. and, after having a kid, we were able to see this.
the first year was really tough. well, he's only 19 month old, so it's not like we've been at this stage long, but a lot happened.
we found an opportunity to buy a business in NZ, which would help me achieve my career goals. simultaneously, it creates more opportunity for DH to reach his career goals, and moves us to the city where we want to live.
so, it took us to that next step. in the process, we got to get rid of pretty much everything we owned, because we didn't want to move things that weren't important to us to the other side of the planet.
this was very liberating, because much of what we had was a reflection of our parents, our parent's values and design style and lifestyle and goals and definitions of success and 'being good/right.' they weren't ours.
so, we were able to shed them, and move to the other side of the planet.how is this path and what has it taken you to?
i think that we both feel liberated and excited about the possibilities.
we discovered after our first purges and keeping the home as it was organized and clean, that we felt more freedom emotionally and that we were able to create more effectively. we were more relaxed and had more time on our hands. we never felt like we had that "another thing to do" hanging over us.
when we moved here, that also included some mental/emotional/familial clutter. how my family or his family defines success doesn't mean anything anymore. we don't have obligations to keep things because they might come over and see it or whatever (which is part of what we did before).
now, we are in a space of defining things ourselves. we are defining our goals, lifestyle, way of thinking and being. we are experimenting, but also cautious about moving forward-- particularly with "stuff." we err to the side of caution in making any purchase because we don't want to buy something and then regret having purchased it later.
when we do make a purchase, it is well thought. our bedroom furniture, for example, is exactly what we wanted since we were here in 2007. after three years of wanting it, no reason not to get it. we'd saved up and were able to buy it without debt.
so, our biggest process here is to remain clear in what we want and how we want to get there, and then follow that. keep to the course. Is it material things, an overabundance of too much in your life or something else?
we are at this "blank slate" stage where we can really create from scratch--where everything can be consciously chosen to be exactly as we want it to be.
we aren't inheriting unconsciously from our past, but consciously creating our present and future.