postpartum chat april 5-11 - Page 4

[mamacatsbaby]

t1h

ROP, im so sorry for your family's loss

and to any of you dealing with the blues or ppd. i hope things get less intense soon

[gardenmommy]

Having a craptastic day over here. DH left for work, and DS2 (who is almost 3) had an immediate meltdown. Screaming crying whining fit for 20 minutes. Baby also decided during that time to scream for some unknown reason. DS did this yesterday, too. And, when he finally settled down, he was not very obedient, meaning, he wants to swing his toys around the baby's head, climb on me, do exactly the opposite of what I just told him, etc. And he had another meltdown; I've forgotten the reason, does he even need one? Baby spent most of the time she was awake this morning crying. I finally told DS I was going to go sit in the bedroom by myself, which provoked yet another round of screaming and crying. Ughh... by that time all three of us were in tears. Thankfully, a friend "borrowed" my girls for a couple of days yesterday, and DS1 is oblivious to everything atm. I just feel like such a failure, can't figure out why either of my LOs is so upset today, not feeling very good about having another baby, which makes me feel really bad. Plus I'm tired. I was going to try to get out this morning, but couldn't deal with all the stuff going on while trying to do what I wanted to do, so we stayed home. As much as I love the tiny newborn bit, I really want to get past these weeks. I am so ready to be done being hormonal and sleepless.

[Snapdragon]

o

[Juvysen]

Originally Posted by Katie34

oh my goodness
For the 1st month my baby was so chill and content. HE ate alst pooped and hung out awake just a little.
for the past 3 day she cries so often! We don't even know why.
It is hard.
I am also having just such a harder time in general bonding and getting used to being a parent. Maybe some ppd even.
I thought it would be better than it is right now, especially when he cries all the time.

I liked "the happiest baby on the block" techniques. They're pretty AP friendly, imo. And there's a video you can buy instead of the book. It helped us through the second-month rough patch w/DD.

FWIW, Avery's been sorta fussy (especially starting around dinner time) the past few days...

[Snapdragon]

I

[judybean]

Parenting is The Hardest Thing you'll ever do. ... And honestly, I think newborns ARE hard to bond with sometimes. I think I've gotten better at it, but ... sometimes it's hard to bond with this thing that just eats and poops and stares, ya know? When they become more interactive *I* think it gets easier. And while I love a teeny tiny, snuggly newborn... I really like when they're a bit older even if just for the interaction side of things.

And while I absolutely believe that AP is the best way to go, it doesn't make things easier. Sometimes, sure... side-lying nursing IS easier than getting up and making bottles in the middle of the night... but maybe you'll end up with a babe who is really into comfort nursing and really just wants to take the end of your nipple and play with that for a bit so you wake up in the morning with sore nipples... and you STILL have to feed the babe

And, even with all the AP techniques out there, your baby *will* still cry sometimes. And that's okay too Babies need to express themselves in all ways and figure things out. Just as you've never parented this unique child before, he/she hasn't done this whole infancy thing before either! It's a learning experience/process for you both...

(hope that makes any sense at all... I have the worst head cold going on right now... yesterday I wanted to cut off my head -- even if it was a blunt object, I'd consider it -- because things were so bad... Today I can *almost* breathe through one nostril... and sleep? Ugh... so. dang. exhausted, yet can't sleep because of breathing! ... but yeah... hope it makes *some* sense!)

[wendy1163]

katie34, it really does get better. I hate the newborn time because I feel like such a robot. there is the hazy lack of sleep feeling, not fitting into my clothes quite right, leaking boobs, and the lack of socializing all to contend with, not to mention the wacky hormone yuck. but it really does get better. I remember people saying that to me with my first, and I really just could not see past the phase I was in. so my mantra was "this too shall pass" and this time around I am trying to remember jsut how quickly it does pass. all the sudden that first newborn is almost two and my new new baby is a month old! so hang in there, be gentle with yourself, take lots of pictures, and write down as much as you can.

and judybean, I am right there with you on the stuffy head-blunt object removal feeling. apple cider vinegar is helping around here.

[Juvysen]

I had a hard time with my first newborn. I blamed my difficulty bonding on being induced from scratch b/c it wasn't my body giving me the lovey hormones, but I don't really know. The learning curve is hard, imo, the first time 'round. The second time I already sort of knew how to handle a newborn (though they're all different...) and so it wasn't as intimidating and I was much more able to just enjoy the pure newborniness The first time the days really dragged on, but the last couple times time is flying... I can't believe it's already been 4 weeks!! How did that happen?? It's sort of easier to enjoy it when you realize how very short the newborn period is, imo. When my first was a newborn, though, I remember thinking "I don't really think I'm the baby type...", but now I just *lurve* the newborn phase... it's just so sweet and fleeting...

[Plummeting]

I think not feeling bonded right away is totally normal. Love can develop over time and that's perfectly okay. With DD1 I felt completely head over heels in love from the first moment. With this new girl it hasn't been like that. Sometimes I even worry that I've "messed up" my perfect little family of three , but I know I love her and that I love her more every day, so it's okay. And DD1 absolutely loves DD2, so I know it was the right thing to have another baby and I didn't mess anything up. DD1 was sick last night and DD2 was fussing from about 5p.m. until 1a.m. and I was actually resentful of her for it, because I wanted to be tending to my poor, sick DD1 and I couldn't. I had to turn it over to DH, who is a great dad, but DD1 is used to ME taking care of her when she's sick. It was very emotionally difficult for me, but I think these things are normal and I'm not worrying about it. Eventually it will seem like DD2 has always been here.

She did have her first doctor check-up today. She's 4 weeks and now weighing 11 lbs, 6 oz. Her right parietal lobe is more prominent than her left (Ha! I TOLD DH it was, but he didn't think so. lol) and she has a tendency to only want to turn her head to the left. I think the two are related to how she was positioned in the womb and since I noticed both when she was only a couple days old I've been very conscientious about making sure to turn her head to the right, put interesting things over there so she'll want to look, etc. She's getting better about it. The doc wasn't worried about it anyway.

[cocoanib]

(((HUGS))) to all of you Mama's!
I'm loving my time with Miakoda. Bonding is going great and I would really enjoy breastfeeding if it wasn't for all the issues.
I feel like I would be a better me and a bettr mother if I didn't have al this extra issues.
My vagina tears are still not healed and I'm tired of buring everytime I pee. I've had so many BFing issues its getting ridiculous. I went to the ER yesterday because of a high fever and chills. I think it's mastitis even though they say it's not.
Anyhoo- if my body was back to itself, I feel like I could enjoy this time more.
It's all good though, because I would rather have issues than Miakoda have them. She is healthy and great and that's what matters.

[Snapdragon]

I had such a better day with Teo today! I felt more bonded- I think because I got all that stuff out there about fearing that we weren't bonding- so that allowed me to get that out and move past it some.
He is still crying way more than in his first month and having a harder time going down for sleeping. but, we had some good love flowing today so that felt nice.
I am sure it all comes and goes- the hardness and joys of parenting.

Cocoanib- oh, sorry to hear about your BF issues and going to the ER. I hope that gets better for you.

[Deir]

Originally Posted by cocoanib

(((HUGS))) to all of you Mama's!
I'm loving my time with Miakoda. Bonding is going great and I would really enjoy breastfeeding if it wasn't for all the issues.
I feel like I would be a better me and a bettr mother if I didn't have al this extra issues.
My vagina tears are still not healed and I'm tired of buring everytime I pee. I've had so many BFing issues its getting ridiculous. I went to the ER yesterday because of a high fever and chills. I think it's mastitis even though they say it's not.
Anyhoo- if my body was back to itself, I feel like I could enjoy this time more.
It's all good though, because I would rather have issues than Miakoda have them. She is healthy and great and that's what matters.

hi- i wrote you a post about oversupply in the old thread 'my calm baby isn't calm' i am still working on it over here- i think i am going to go to 6 hr blocks for feeding and also i am trying to push the paci a bit more

[cocoanib]

Originally Posted by Deir

hi- i wrote you a post about oversupply in the old thread 'my calm baby isn't calm' i am still working on it over here- i think i am going to go to 6 hr blocks for feeding and also i am trying to push the paci a bit more

Hello!
I think my oversupply has corrected itself. yay! I hope the block feeding works and your doing better with it soon as well.
I had wanted to try and stay away from paci's, but there are some nights where if I had one, I probably would have broken down and used it.
I've started side nursing at night and she seems to like that. She kind of uses my nipple as a paci and falls aslep.

[staceychev]

Katie: mine is definitely fussier than she was the first couple of weeks. I think it's "normal"... whatever that is!

[ciga]

Wow, I can't believe it has almost been a month!
Ruben is doing really well. He was already up to 11lbs at our 3 week midwife visit. We've actually gotten to a point where every night doesn't include an hour long screaming fit. That was really tough. It is hard enough waking up at 3am but to have it be 3am crazy time was overwhelming. Now he wakes up once around 1am to eat and then again at around 4-5am to eat/get a diaper change and he generally goes back to sleep pretty peacefully each time. well, with the exception of last night where there was a lot of grunting fussiness after the 4am changing until we got up around 7am.

I'm on the mend. Some of my sutures did come out a couple weeks ago and that is making the healing process a little slower than I'd hoped but the stinging is down a lot which makes walking around more bearable. My body is still having a hard time adjusting to the lack of sleep (even when I manage to nap during the day) but I kind of wonder if it will ever adjust to that.
maybe i'll go lie down now instead of playing on the internet