apiphobia....now what?!

[aris99]

Ok there's actually a word for the fear of bees! We have just moved into our dream rental house. One of the reasons it is a "dream house" is that it has a fenced in backyard where my kids can get away from me and I don't have to worry (as much) about their safety. My eldest, almost 9, loved it SO much at first I couldn't keep her inside...a dream come true! Well, she has just noticed carpenter bees and she won't go out AT ALL!!! I have walked into the path of carpenter bees numerous times now to demonstrate that they show no malice towards people. Even the yellow jackets are fairly harmless at this time of yr because they haven't established hives yet. I have sat w/her, talked to her but she refuses to go out. She is super smart so I know she understands rationally that there is nothing to fear but she can't help it.

It is just another fear in a long list of fears that she seems to be harboring. Anyone have a tip for me? If you suffered as a child can you tell me what helped you? I am so sad that my dd is going to sit indoors all spring/summer because of the insects! I am (or was in a previous life) a biologist and though I didn't go into entomology I've always had an interest in insects...I thought this might have been helpful to my dd that I'm comfortable around insects but it hasn't made a hill of bees

[ikesmom]

My ds is very terrified of bees after having a tramatic exp with being stung. He has anxiety issues that are generally mild , but sometimes seem more intense for periods of time. We even had bouts of sleeplessness over it. He would wake up with nightmares and crying ect.

I honestly don't have an answer except to talk about the fears camly and patiently. There is nothing worse than making them feel ashamed about a genuine fear since they can't help it. I try to talk to ds about how to cope with whatever he is feeling whether it is anger, anxiety, excitement ..ect. I think that is what a therapist would do. They might role play scenarios and discuss the feelings felt and then how to focus on dealing with them.

I have to say that I am a grown woman that is scared to death of spiders. I just freak out and there is nothing anyone can tell me that helps. I just loose control about it and freak. I can't imagine how much worse it is for a kid.

[rlandnl]

I have no advice just wanted to say *hugs* my almost 7 year old is deathly afraid of EVERY SINGLE BUG. to the point that while we are outside he screams at the top of his lungs. It's embarrassing for me, and I am really afraid someone is going to think that he's getting hurt.

We have tried working on it in OT, and now we are working on it in counseling with social stories. I have bought him these citronalle bracelets that he wears on both wrists and I tell him the bugs are scared of them.

Nothing has worked in his life. He has always been like this. I hope that he eventually grows out of it.

[~Charlie's~Angel~]

AS a grown woman DEALTHY AFRAID OF BEES (And I dont even know if Im allergic, but I am sooooo not willing to find out) I totally sympathize with your daughter. I sincerely hope my fear doesnt trickle down to my kids. I try not to display my aversion to other bugs, however, we had a run in with some bees this weekend, and it wasnt pretty.

Perhaps you could make her a little BeeKeeper hat (just a straw hat with some netting) and that will help her feel better? Hopefully her fear will ease with time, but right now, I can totally understand how she feels. to her and you.

[aris99]

Thank-you all for sharing your experiences with me. As the daughter of a mother who was so scared of heights that she was inclined to faint at the sight of them I can assure you that I would never make my daughter feel bad. I think I am so much in the other direction that I don't do enough to help my kids deal w/their anxieties or at least try and get them to a manageable level. It is my experience that it is next to impossible to overcome phobias BUT you can work around them. I LOVE the bee keeper hat idea and the citronella bracelets but I don't think my dd would calm down enough to even try these. I probably need to seek out therapy for my dd. She won't get into the car either these days. She claims there's a horrible smell and when she tries to get into the car she throws up.....can't even say it's travel sickness because this is before the car is even turned on! And no there is no smell....we keep the cleanest car on earth to try and counter her claims! So, would cognitive behavioral therapy be a good choice for general anxiety and phobias?

[rlandnl]

Originally Posted by aris99

Thank-you all for sharing your experiences with me. As the daughter of a mother who was so scared of heights that she was inclined to faint at the sight of them I can assure you that I would never make my daughter feel bad. I think I am so much in the other direction that I don't do enough to help my kids deal w/their anxieties or at least try and get them to a manageable level. It is my experience that it is next to impossible to overcome phobias BUT you can work around them. I LOVE the bee keeper hat idea and the citronella bracelets but I don't think my dd would calm down enough to even try these. I probably need to seek out therapy for my dd. She won't get into the car either these days. She claims there's a horrible smell and when she tries to get into the car she throws up.....can't even say it's travel sickness because this is before the car is even turned on! And no there is no smell....we keep the cleanest car on earth to try and counter her claims! So, would cognitive behavioral therapy be a good choice for general anxiety and phobias?

I never make my son feel bad either, in fact when I told him I wanted him to talk about it in counseling I said that it's ok to be afraid of bugs and I don't want her to help him "get over' his fear because I feel like that minimizes it, but I wanted her to help him find ways to "deal with it" instead. find ways to be able to exist outside without screaming.

His therapist is a CBT and he has generalized anxiety (as well as Asperger's and Sensory processing disorder) so I would say it's probably a very good choice Make sure you like the therapist and that your daughter clicks with her before you leave them to chat alone. Not that you wouldn't but I had to interview a couple of therapists before I found the one with the right temperment for him.

[LynnS6]

Two quick book recommendations:

Freeing Your Child from Anxiety (for you) and What to do when you Worry Too Much (to work through with your daughter).

I would recommend counseling since it sounds like she's got some definite anxiety issues going on. I would do cognitive behavioral therapy for her age, I think.

Her anxiety issues are probably heightened right now because of the stress of moving, so it's a good time to see them in action.

[NightOwlwithowlet]

My son had some mild fears about leeches, tics, and horse shoe crabs that grew steadily worse last summer. It got to the point where he wouldn't take a bath without me checking to see if there were crabs in it. He had to sleep on top of a pile of pillows because he was afraid he'd be attacked in his sleep.

It turned out to be a side effect of his ADHD medication that had increased so gradually, we hadn't made the connection. It was made worse when he had to take high dose antibiotics along with the medications. His fears turned into major phobias overnight. We were very lucky that his fears subsided within of 48 hours of stopping the medication.

We noticed the fears get worse when he had strep or an ear infection, though not nearly as bad. The rest of the time, he's just mildly afraid if he sees a tic, leech, or horse shoe crab and easily reassured as long as he is healthy and off the stimulant medication. Could there be medical reason? Cognitive therapy has helped a lot.

Ps. I never realized how creepy leeches, tics, and horse shoe crabs until he pointed it out. I'm trying to keep my fear of clowns to my self.

[aris99]

Originally Posted by rlandnl

I never make my son feel bad either, in fact when I told him I wanted him to talk about it in counseling I said that it's ok to be afraid of bugs and I don't want her to help him "get over' his fear because I feel like that minimizes it, but I wanted her to help him find ways to "deal with it" instead. find ways to be able to exist outside without screaming.

His therapist is a CBT and he has generalized anxiety (as well as Asperger's and Sensory processing disorder) so I would say it's probably a very good choice Make sure you like the therapist and that your daughter clicks with her before you leave them to chat alone. Not that you wouldn't but I had to interview a couple of therapists before I found the one with the right temperment for him.

Thank-you for your advice. My dd was dx'd w/aspergers too, and she def. has the anxiety and sensory issues that go along w/it. I am currently seeking a CBT for my son...hopefully the person I find will be a good fit for both!

[aris99]

Originally Posted by LynnS6

Two quick book recommendations:

Freeing Your Child from Anxiety (for you) and What to do when you Worry Too Much (to work through with your daughter).

I would recommend counseling since it sounds like she's got some definite anxiety issues going on. I would do cognitive behavioral therapy for her age, I think.

Her anxiety issues are probably heightened right now because of the stress of moving, so it's a good time to see them in action.

Thanks for the book suggestions Lynn! She's actually been sort of oblivious to moving....we've moved house once a yr since she's been born...so for her it's the norm. She's been carrying around the anxiety in different forms since she was 3...it seemed manageable then....not so much now. We'll be looking into CBT.

[aris99]

Originally Posted by NightOwlwithowlet

My son had some mild fears about leeches, tics, and horse shoe crabs that grew steadily worse last summer. It got to the point where he wouldn't take a bath without me checking to see if there were crabs in it. He had to sleep on top of a pile of pillows because he was afraid he'd be attacked in his sleep.

It turned out to be a side effect of his ADHD medication that had increased so gradually, we hadn't made the connection. It was made worse when he had to take high dose antibiotics along with the medications. His fears turned into major phobias overnight. We were very lucky that his fears subsided within of 48 hours of stopping the medication.

We noticed the fears get worse when he had strep or an ear infection, though not nearly as bad. The rest of the time, he's just mildly afraid if he sees a tic, leech, or horse shoe crab and easily reassured as long as he is healthy and off the stimulant medication. Could there be medical reason? Cognitive therapy has helped a lot.

Ps. I never realized how creepy leeches, tics, and horse shoe crabs until he pointed it out. I'm trying to keep my fear of clowns to my self.

Thanks for your input! No medical reason...she is not medicated and she is not ill. She says it's the buzzing that bothers her, then the idea that they could sting her. She has SUPER sensitive hearing...not unlike the bionic woman (I am dating myself...but I kid you not!) and any buzzing sends her running.

If you don't mind my asking, is your son being treated for PANDAS? I'm about to have my son evaluated for this....curious as to others experiences...

[confustication]

My 8 yo spent far too much time indoors last summer for this exact reason. However, midway through the summer, she also was stung, and had a mild allergic reaction, so that ramped up her already intense anxiety to astronomical proportions.

Quite honestly, it may not be a popular approach around here, but I don't have tolerance for people allowing themselves to be paralyzed by fear. We talked about how to use the epi pen if we had to, and I told her that hiding from the world wasn't an option, so she needed to come up with some ideas that would allow her to spend time outside. Essentially, I pushed her past her comfort levels, and while she was unhappy at the time, I forced her to face the reality that other creatures live on the earth, and she has to learn to cope.

With a kid who has high-anxiety and ASD, if I catered to her fears (real and imagined) she'd never set foot outdoors. Teaching her to recognize them for the irrational fears they are, and how to push herself through them works better.

[rlandnl]

Originally Posted by confustication

My 8 yo spent far too much time indoors last summer for this exact reason. However, midway through the summer, she also was stung, and had a mild allergic reaction, so that ramped up her already intense anxiety to astronomical proportions.

Quite honestly, it may not be a popular approach around here, but I don't have tolerance for people allowing themselves to be paralyzed by fear. We talked about how to use the epi pen if we had to, and I told her that hiding from the world wasn't an option, so she needed to come up with some ideas that would allow her to spend time outside. Essentially, I pushed her past her comfort levels, and while she was unhappy at the time, I forced her to face the reality that other creatures live on the earth, and she has to learn to cope.

With a kid who has high-anxiety and ASD, if I catered to her fears (real and imagined) she'd never set foot outdoors. Teaching her to recognize them for the irrational fears they are, and how to push herself through them works better.

Oh I definitely push my son too! if not we would never be outside, we would eat the same thing every day and well the list goes on and on lol That's why I said that I am actually afraid that the neighbors are going to think that someone is hurting him. I bring him out, and I try to calm him, i try to talk him through it, find solutions, I am not going to let him live inside, but I also don't tell him to just "get over it" or make him feel bad about it. So I think you are right on with what you are saying

[confustication]

I'm pretty sure our neighbors must think I'm torturing her, but there are times that the initial resistance breaks and she is able to move forward.

We're currently celebrating the fact that she's mastered bike riding- and there were *many* frustrations along the way- all totally worth it when she accomplished that freedom.

[LynnS6]

Originally Posted by aris99

Thanks for your input! No medical reason...she is not medicated and she is not ill. She says it's the buzzing that bothers her, then the idea that they could sting her. She has SUPER sensitive hearing...not unlike the bionic woman (I am dating myself...but I kid you not!) and any buzzing sends her running.

You might also look into Sensory Processing Disorder - it often goes hand in hand with anxiety. If nothing else she seems hypersensitive to sound. Two good books there:
Sensational Kids (about SPD)
The Highly Sensitive Child (sensitive kids but not disordered)

I've got one of each and both show anxiety at times.