How to stop aggressive silliness - Page 2

[BarefootScientist]

Thanks Nansense and others who responded. Things have improved a little lately.

Actually, Just1More, when I first read your suggestion I was thinking it was a little crazy, but I thought about it more and more that night, and I have tried it and I think it's helping a little. If he comes up and starts swatting at me I remind him he needs to ask to play the punching game, and that he can only play it with mommy. Then we go into the living room and punch each other.

It sounds bad, but he really enjoys it and it usually devolves into a tickling match, he burns off some extra energy, we both get a break and he gets some attention from me. It hasn't stopped the behavior but I think it has decreased the frequency of it. That and actually being able to pay attention to him now that the house is all cleaned up and on the market (actually, we got an offer today!).

I'm trying to really understand him and what needs (attention? sensory? energy?) he is trying to meet in this way, etc. Trying to get to know him better as a toddler and as a person I guess. This is the first really big discipline challenge I've had to face as a parent, so I keep reminding myself I'm just starting this journey...that helps too.

So thanks everyone again for your suggestions, and please keep them or the commiseration coming if you have more!

[Just1More]

I know it's weird...and awkward to confess. And totally the opposite of what we'd like to teach them...

I'm glad maybe it's helping a little.

[Nansense]

Just wanted to say I thought of this post last night after I had a tough bed-time with them! They were running around the house laughing, screaming and I felt like an idiot trying to get them to calm down for bed. My mistake for making bed time too early - they were falling sleep eating dinner, but I guess the food kicked in and they got their second wind. I yelled and said not-nice things and finally had to stand at the door for 20min and they finally feel sleep.

It never fails that I have some good days and post my advice and then we fall apart and have bad-mommy moments. I guess we're all hanging in there.

btw, congrats on the offer! We have a buyer too, but they still need to sell their house.

[Just1More]

I wanted to add that you might want to look into some sensory processing disorder articles/books/sites. I'm not even suggesting your little guy has SPD, but some of their ideas to fill his craving for roughness might be more palatable for you. (Like, wrap him up tight in a blanket and roll him across the floor like a steam roller.) There's tons of ideas for providing that need in a controlled way. Instead of telling him to ask for the "punching game", you could suggest he ask to "play rough", or that he's "feeling like he needs (whatever)."