Worried about trying for LO #2

[nwatt]

(I originally titled this worried about trying for #2, but that seemed a little too close to potty-talk!)

My DH and I have always wanted our LOs to be close together, and I have always wanted a relatively large family. Lately, however, I have become really nervous about trying to conceive a second baby. It is not the concerns of how am I going to handle to young babies that are hitting me so hard. Rather, it is that we are already so blessed, have such a wonderful daughter, and such a perfect family, that trying for anything more just seems like too much, like we might be asking for trouble. Does that make sense? We aren't going to start trying until June, though we have talked about May, so I have awhile to work through these feelings. At the same time that I am having these fears, I REALLY want to be pregnant again. My hormones just seem to be out of control. I also do have the worries of how on earth do people take care of two babies. DD has been a little difficult. She doesn't like to sleep and has a MSPI, and I cannot imagine taking care of her AND someone else at the same time. Anyways... Has anyone else felt this way?

[sept15lija]

I have!

I worried about this a lot. We had a lot of problems conceiving DS, so I tried to overcome the fears so we could TTC because I had no idea how long it would take. Well, it happened the first month. So my fears intensified. We had such a good chemistry and I really worried about upsetting the balance. Fast forward to now, DD is here and is now 2 months old. Things have been really great so far...our family has just been made better. I have no doubt challenges lay ahead with two kids, but there are challenges with one too...and of course now that DD is here I couldn't imagine our lives without her. And DS absolutely adores her. He always wants to hold her, pretend to nurse her, play with her....kisses and hugs galore. We have seen no signs of jealousy from him, I think because we have made such an effort in making him a part of everything to do with the baby and of course maintaining the same routine with him...and we have always been so close, he knows how much he is loved by us.

Also, of course there is no guarantee in this, but DS was a terrible sleeper...I was a walking zombie for quite some time, and DD is a dream...she actually puts herself to sleep at 2 months old! I am still floored each time she does it, lol.

[Norasmomma]

Put your fear aside and enjoy making a new addition.

I had those same types of concerns, but honestly for us DD was so high energy of a toddler, DH and I were both pretty exhausted by the time she was 2(which was our target TTC time). I also really wanted to be pregnant and was so ready to build our family. For me I was raised an only child and while I grew up fine, I still felt it was a lonely existence sometimes. DH is from a family of 7, he also felt it important for her to have a sibling. Now I don't want to scare you but honestly the hardest part of the whole thing was being pregnant, while DD's pregnancy was a breeze, DS's was fairly sucky. I had a tear in the placenta at 16 weeks, which forced me into modified bed rest. Being pregnant with a very active 2.5 y/o was hard on me. I also was pretty nauseated the whole time. It was just plain hard.

Now one thing we did was really prepared DD for being a big sister, she went to appointments with me, she helped the dr wipe off the gel on my stomach, we read books about what babies are like. For us when DS was born it never was an issue, it's been a major welcome change. DD is 3.5 now and Ds is 6 months and it has been wonderful. DS is soooooo different than she was, she was easier in some ways, he is in others. We feel complete with him, we never felt flustered or frazzled, it has been awesome. The best part is watching them develop a relationship, honestly it's made me a better mom, I am more patient with DD and people say motherhood makes me glow

My biggest advice is prepare your child, depending on their age. My friends didn't prepare her son they never read new baby books or anything and he had a way harder time then our DD ever did. They've had a way harder time, but she also is one to just be that way.

Don't worry-it will be fine, it's amazing how much love we have to give.

[dachshund mom]

How close are we talking here? Every mom I know IRL with a less than two year gap who has been very negative about it. Maybe as they get older it's a good gap, but it's incredibly difficult in the beginning from what they say, and hard on the older child. So if your intuition is saying to wait...

DH wants to try now but I say, you already have a baby. To me, breastfeeding, diapers, not talking = baby.

[nwatt]

Thanks, Ladies! I am still worried about it, but hearing from others really helps. We are thinking of having our next before DD turns two. Both my sisters and dh and his sister are less than 2 years apart, so I feel like this age spacing works might work really well for us. I am still worried about "ruining" our perfect family, but I am more confident that things will work out the way that they are supposed to.