backstory: we coslept with DD1 from infant to 5 years old. DD2 had a cosleeper (she never slept in it really, but it was "there" and kept her and me from falling out of bed). We coslept all 4 of us for one year before working it out that DD1 could sleep alone. DD2 seemed ready, and we got her a bed, sharing a room with DD1 - when she was about 3.5. Off & on, she'd wake in the middle of the night, and come back to our bed. No big deal. We let her. If it was really early in the night, DH might take her back to her bed, but nothing consistent - til she was 5.
AT that point, DD3 was born. We don't have the cosleeper this time. I had an emergency cs, and it was really really hard to do 4 in the bed. So, we started being more insistent about taking DD2 back to her bed.
Now, DD3 is 15 months old, DD2 is 6 years, DD1 is 10 years. We really would like DD2 to stay in her own bed. The girls bicker about sharing a room. Big sister has a "regular bed" and little sister has a trundle. We think some of the trouble is that she doesn't like the "little bed." There isn't room in there for a second bed, though. Also, DH is spending more hours in bed with her each night. She'll come down at least once, he'll take her back up - then fall asleep - then a couple hours later come back to our bed. She'll wake up again, and sneak downstairs - by that time, we're too exhausted to notice, so she'll get to stay. Occasionally, she'll stay in her bed til 6 am - but more often, she wakes up 3-4 hours after going to sleep.
Their bedtime is about 8:30. We tried having DD2 go to bed earlier, but that was a disaster, so we compromised and they both go to bed at the same time.
She sincerely can't or won't go back to sleep alone, and we need to figure this out before DH loses his mind.
We have one possibility for a second bedroom with a double bed. Personally, I want them to share a room, but I guess everyone getting a good night's sleep is more important. So, if we go with the second bedroom, who gets it? DD1 because she's older? or DD2 so that she can have a bigger bed since DH lays down with her? Somebody is going to be upset.
But it still doesn't resolve the bigger issue about getting her to go back to sleep by herself ... we really don't object to the cosleeping, except that it's affecting everyone adversely now.
help!
--janis
AT that point, DD3 was born. We don't have the cosleeper this time. I had an emergency cs, and it was really really hard to do 4 in the bed. So, we started being more insistent about taking DD2 back to her bed.
Now, DD3 is 15 months old, DD2 is 6 years, DD1 is 10 years. We really would like DD2 to stay in her own bed. The girls bicker about sharing a room. Big sister has a "regular bed" and little sister has a trundle. We think some of the trouble is that she doesn't like the "little bed." There isn't room in there for a second bed, though. Also, DH is spending more hours in bed with her each night. She'll come down at least once, he'll take her back up - then fall asleep - then a couple hours later come back to our bed. She'll wake up again, and sneak downstairs - by that time, we're too exhausted to notice, so she'll get to stay. Occasionally, she'll stay in her bed til 6 am - but more often, she wakes up 3-4 hours after going to sleep.
Their bedtime is about 8:30. We tried having DD2 go to bed earlier, but that was a disaster, so we compromised and they both go to bed at the same time.
She sincerely can't or won't go back to sleep alone, and we need to figure this out before DH loses his mind.
We have one possibility for a second bedroom with a double bed. Personally, I want them to share a room, but I guess everyone getting a good night's sleep is more important. So, if we go with the second bedroom, who gets it? DD1 because she's older? or DD2 so that she can have a bigger bed since DH lays down with her? Somebody is going to be upset.
But it still doesn't resolve the bigger issue about getting her to go back to sleep by herself ... we really don't object to the cosleeping, except that it's affecting everyone adversely now.
help!
--janis
