Toddler Nursing DISASTER. - Page 2

[Peony]

My DD1 was exactly this way, VERY avid nurser until almost age 4, she was just/still is a intense child. When she was a toddler, nursing allowed her to cope with the world. I couldn't set limits on nursing when she was 3, she just wasn't able to handle them. Nursing was her lifeline for everything, food, comfort, reassurance, when she needed help calming down, nursing helped her. This was her normal, and while things calmed down some the older she got, she is a child that is just more. More of everything, more energy, more sleep issues, more of driving me to insanity I guess, but she is an amazing child whose traits will serve her well in adulthood.

[TzippityDoulah]

Originally Posted by Peony

My DD1 was exactly this way, VERY avid nurser until almost age 4, she was just/still is a intense child. When she was a toddler, nursing allowed her to cope with the world. I couldn't set limits on nursing when she was 3, she just wasn't able to handle them. Nursing was her lifeline for everything, food, comfort, reassurance, when she needed help calming down, nursing helped her. This was her normal, and while things calmed down some the older she got, she is a child that is just more. More of everything, more energy, more sleep issues, more of driving me to insanity I guess, but she is an amazing child whose traits will serve her well in adulthood.

that was really sweet it's good to know your child and know her needs!

[AirMiami]

Originally Posted by LilacMama

She does not respond well to any of the boundaries. She is a miserable wretch when I'm around unless I'm topless and "available." She is perfectly fine for other people when I am gone. I come in the door and she falls apart. She is just SO INTENSE about it. Honestly, I think that she has probably scared several people who might have been open to the idea of nursing a toddler. She's just a "cautionary tale" of what could happen.

I don't really have much advice, but I wanted to say you're not alone because this is my 14 month old word for word! We actually had to night wean prematurely at 10 months old because she was just so darned obnoxious about it. I couldn't take her waking up every 15 minutes to nurse, not just waking up asking for it, but waking up SCREAMING if my nipple fell out of her mouth. She wasn't even eating at night anymore, she just liked holding it in her mouth all night long! I'm not exaggerating when I say that it was ruining my life. I was resenting her, resenting nursing, and I was extremely sleep deprived. Unfortunately, that just made her even more intense about nursing during the day, which I didn't think was possible. At least I'm getting some sleep at night now though.

[youngsoul]

This is soooo my life right now. My 19mo dd is exactly the same, and it's really exhausting. I think about night weaning sometimes (we co-sleep) but at the same time I can't fathom depriving her of the comfort (and sustenance?) she derives from nursing. It's such a HUGE part of her existence; I feel like I'd possibly do some serious emotional damage if I were to night wean.
But seriously, I just don't know how much more I can take...

[kcstar]

Originally Posted by HennyPenny

I think you need ot not view her tantrums or foul mood as evidence of ywhat you're doing not working.

THIS! Remember that their feelings are nothing personal.

Originally Posted by HennyPenny

HELP her through the flou mood, but giving in when you mean business will likely make her very insecure. kids who are extremely intense individuals need a lot of help establishing boundaries, they also NEED to be allowed to cry when they get overwhelmed. confort them, but don't try to stop their tears by giving in. otherwise you make it harder and more confusing on them.

When DS tantrums, I try to acknowledge the emotion. I'll say in a calm voice "Angry baby, angry baby. You want XYZ. We can't do that right now. We can do ABC instead." That sort of thing. It doesn't always work, it's slow, but it's a thought.

[brennan]

Originally Posted by hram

I completely disagree with the people who say this isnt normal. Its normal for your child and for mine My dd was the exact same way. She was wanting to nurse all day and all night at 2 yrs. If I told her no she would have crazy fits and pull my shirt off and hit me and herself. She couldnt handle it. The only thing that helped was to let her nurse as much as she wanted and after a few days she would back off. I think its a HUGE sign of insecurity on her part. Also I think she is very very young and nursing most of the day should be normal for her. I really know how you feel, I struggle with depression and anxiety and almost have a social phobia. So it gets hard, she is also a mama's girl. She wont go to anyone, not her dad or grandma. Only me. It took a year of on and off to try and night wean her and it still didnt help. She was till waking up crying to nurse. I did end up weaning her at 3 because the relationship was making me miserable. I couldnt stand the abuse I was taking. The only reason I kept nursing for so long is becuase it was so important to her. I would have nursed her until she was five if she was a bit more polite about it. But when Im in the middle of supper and she wants to nurse I couldnt stand the screaming and hitting. She would never ever take something else to replace the booms. Not food or drinks, nothing. So it was me or a terrible fit.

So I dont have any real advice, just that I know how you feel and it will get better. Like a pp said, she will be an intelligent and free spirited child which is amazing! But this is the down side, she will be very intense. Its her personality, you cant change that. Just remember she is young and she needs to nurse for many reasons. I hope you can find a way to continue the relationship for as long you both feel its appropriate.

This, this is my daughter
I have no advice other than commiseration.