Bad behavior from 2 yo (especially around mealtime)

[Marnica]

My almost 2yo DS has become quite a challenge at meal times

Most of the time he will take a few bites and then want to get down from his high chair. He also will throw food and his fork/knife/juice cup at me or on the floor. I have tried to be easy going about not making him sit in his chair to eat, but he is very skinny and I do want to get him to eat as much as possible. I have also let him get down and let him come to me for bites while he plays, and have also followed him around trying to get him to eat out of desparation

I really don't know the best way to handle this. I have been calm, and easygoing. I have tried a sterner approach which he finds amusing. (he will actually laugh at me!), and I admit I have lost my temper with him (and made him cry ). Nothing seems to be effective. I know he doesn't behave this way at daycare when he eats. It has gotten so that I DREAD feeding him. It makes me anxious and I find it harder and harder to keep from losing my patience. He behaves the same way for DH when he tries to feed him, although DH is generally a more patient person by nature, so I have been trying to get him to feed him more lately.
I'm worried about creating bad habits (ie not having him sit in his chair while eating and following him around to get him to eat).

Any suggestions?? I feel I may soon

[Katie T]

Does he get a lot of snacks before meals so maybe he isn't hungry? I don't know how you feel about this but I have heard of people putting cupcake tins with different things ie:cheese cubes, cut up fruit, whole wheat crackers ect. so they can have nutritious things to eat during the day on his own time.

In my experience kids eat when they are hungry and there isn't a whole lot we as parents can do to make them eat. I have a very skinny 3 1/2yo and he sometimes eats like a bird and other times he eats like a horse.

I know it is hard but try to relax about it, he will be ok.

[spmamma]

I've found that DD eats far less at dinner than any other meal of the day. I've had to work hard not to worry about it. These days I make sure she takes at least a few bites of whatever we're serving so that she won't get too picky. But aside from that I don't worry so much about the quantity since she eats plenty the rest of the day.

[nsmith27]

I let JR snack through out the day, in the morning in perfers trail mix, and he likes simple foods, like PB Jelly and he is a spinach kid, plus I stlll boob feed him, he is this but he is healthy so he grazes more though the day, When we have dinner at the table , I let him ou when he wants out, and then let him go back in forth to his food, this is there exploring stage and I think that there is so much excitement around that the last thing is on there mind is food , and also rember they are not going to east as much as a older kid, and there is alot of growth spurts

[Marnica]

I'm trying to relax about it like you all suggest, but we have recenty had to go GF due to diagnosed sensitivities and now DS has lost more weight (in addition to the ongoing issues I mentioned above). I really just wish he would EAT dinner. I don't know how NOT to worry about him and his weight. If he was eating a ton and was still skinny, I wouldn't worry. We have his 2yr WBV coming up next month and Im afraid oed will say he has FFT

[btallen]

A few things...

1. Around 20 mos, we moved DS out of the high chair into a booster seat. He was using the booster at the sitter's and seems to do better with it. It lets him feel that he's sitting in a chair like the rest of us.
2. We always eat dinner together at the kitchen/dining room table. DH travels for work, so it may just be me & DS sitting down to eat together. We wanted him to see US eating and "behaving" at meal time, too.
3. Lots of times, as others have noted above, dinner seems to be the meal that DS eats the least. He always eats a big breakfast and lunch; after his nap, he gets a snack. If he tells us he's "all done" we will let him get down and play, but we always offer him one more bite. Normally, he'll eat a little more before getting down.
4. I always leave his plate on the table after we finish eating. I've found that lot's of times, he will be hungry an hour or 2 after dinner (after he's played) and will finish his dinner plus something else (fruit, cheese, etc.). He has started (finally!) only waking 1 time at night to nurse, and I think he needs to fill his belly so he can sleep longer.

I stress about him not eating, but I think he does eat more than I realize.

[ssh]

Originally Posted by Marnica

I'm trying to relax about it like you all suggest, but we have recenty had to go GF due to diagnosed sensitivities and now DS has lost more weight (in addition to the ongoing issues I mentioned above). I really just wish he would EAT dinner. I don't know how NOT to worry about him and his weight. If he was eating a ton and was still skinny, I wouldn't worry. We have his 2yr WBV coming up next month and Im afraid oed will say he has FFT

Trying to get Your DS to eat more can have the opposite effect. You don't want to make food a behavioral issue. Do you have healthy snacks he can eat anytime he's hungry? Homemade smoothies are a good way to get extra nutrition into a persons diet. Also don't worry about "creating bad habits" by letting him move around. You don't have to worry about normal 2 year old behavior becoming a permanent habit, they outgrow it. If you don't make it an issue, he will want to sit at the table like you and your DH do. It's really normal for an almost 2 year old and even a 3 year old having problems being still. My 4 year old DD loves having everyone sit together at the table for a meal, but still gets up a few times during dinner (to get extra napkins, wash her hands again or get more water for someone).

[Lilygoose]

I think that the more he fgeels your stress about meal times the more he will resist. it can become a control issue. Maybe instead you could focus on bulking up the nutrition of his breakfast, lunch, and snacks. Focus and healthy fats, good veggies, and fruit. I think you worte he eats well at daycare? I would also sit him with you at the table or a spot that is not a highchair that he can have the freedom to get up. His desire for independence and autonomy may play a role here. My DD (18 months) has a little table next to me in the living room to eat at (we are living room eaters). Now we definitely have some struggles getting her to stay seated and eat, which she has no problem with at daycare, but that is a different battle. She will come back to her table and eat throughout the meal. She also eats a lot more at daycare than at dinner, but she eats more this way than when she was in the highchair (she does not like being confined).

[Marnica]

Thank you all.....I think you are right. The more I make an issue of it thr worse it will be....


He does have a boster seat and sometimes we use this, the results are the same. We usually do all sit down (if DH is home) or just he and I and eat at the table, but this has not helped really. He also has a little table of his own and I have tried letting him sit there and just leaving the food there for him to eat when he wants to....again results not so good. I guess I just have to know that when he is hungry, he'll eat. He does eat well at daycare. I send good, nutritious food (not crap). Here is a question for you all. Should I try different foods at dinner? If he is not eating what I have made and offered him, should I try something else?? He LOVES fruit and eats alot of it at daycare. I know if he rejected dinner foods, if I let him have more fruit, he would eat it. Not sure if this is a good idea??