Why is this preachy - Page 3

[Altair]

Originally Posted by frenchkissed

And hopefully my homebirth works out well so I can buy that onesie! (Due tomorrow!) I think it's great. A very simple statement that plants the seed in others' minds. Some people are just easily offended and thrive on drama...

~K.

Yea, no I don't thrive on drama in the slightest. I just desperately wanted a homebirth and was pointing out that here is one potential group of customers who may not like the shirt. Which IS, after all, what the OP was asking.

No, you can't make everyone happy, but business usually do better when they don't make people feel bad things. Please feel free to disregard my thoughts, but presumably you wanted a broad range of opinions.

[frenchkissed]

Originally Posted by Altair

Yea, no I don't thrive on drama in the slightest. I just desperately wanted a homebirth and was pointing out that here is one potential group of customers who may not like the shirt. Which IS, after all, what the OP was asking.

I had to go back and read through the comments to find your story. I'm sorry your birth didn't take place the way you wanted, but you gave it your best shot and made the decision that was right in the end.

I'm not saying everyone can or should even want a homebirth, but it is almost unheard of where I live. I don't tell people what I'm planning, but if they ask me what hospital I'll deliver at, I say "Actually, we're planning on staying home, and two nurse-midwives are coming to monitor things. If any problems arise, I'll transfer to ___." Jaws drop and people act like they've never heard of such a thing. And then the questions start. Very few people have challenge me or acted outwardly incredulous or judgmental; mostly, they are curious. I'm just sorry more women don't know what their options are. I had my first baby in a hospital and am kind of glad I did, but I'm ready and have "proven" my body is capable of birthing, and this is my decision this time around. I'm glad I have the choice. That's why I've been *looking* for cute little ways to start a conversation and spread the word. If you met me and we actually talked you'd not think I am preachy based on what my kid is wearing, ya know?

[matthia]

I can't help it, I'm an english major....
(I don't have a problem with the wording, especially because of the tense used, but here's my two cents anyways)

From my perspective, I think even something as simple as changing the punctuation would work to calm and repurpose something that could be seen as a command.

"born simply, born safely, born at home" I think is less volatile a statement because it is ONE sentance (fragment, granted) that can more readily be attributed to the individual the way "born at home" can. "born simply. born safely. born at home" does have a more sloganly feel mostly because of the punctuation, I feel....
The shirt as it stands now could be offputting because of it being mis-interpreted as preachy in the way that "drive simply. drive safely. drive ford" is very obviously indicating that Ford is the only simple, safe option. I think the commas give the phrase a gentler message "this is how I did it and it worked."
(not that you should change it if you don't want to, but I enjoy grammar, I couldn't help pointing out how it can shift meaning and interpretation....)

[olstep]

[QUOTE=nikirj;15269868] It is a statement that I'd assume was true for the individual who chose to wear it, and that can be the end of the story. /QUOTE]

I agree.

It is imperative mood that would make a statemet: "Drive safely!" "Breastfeed!" "Give birth!"

The t-shirt does not tell you what to do, nor does it compare. It descirbes somebody's experience, tells a short story. They were lucky to have a safe birth. But it doesn't exclude or make any comment about somebody's not so lucky experience AT HOME or SAFE experience in hospital.

Originally Posted by Aka mommy

But i feel as if our society is too set on not offending everyone instead of focusing on speaking and being heard. We can work our rears off at being PC, but in the end we do end up always offending at least 1 person and usually it's unintentionally.

[dylan1984]

matthia, oh my gosh, I'm dying here b/c the first thing my husband said when he saw the shirt was "you should have commas instead of periods." I told him what does he know. Poor hubby.

I can totally see what you are saying, and might have to eat crow with him and consider making this small change.

As much as it IS my intention to stir up conversation about homebirth and raise awareness among women that homebirth can be a safe and simple option, it is certainly not my intention to make anybody feel bad when they see the shirt - so if making this small change can lessen that negative reaction, it seems like a simple compromise to me. Thanks for the expert point of view!

Reason number five thousand and ten that I love this forum

[HappyMommy2]

I would keep the shirt on the site. Personally, I would buy the shirt!

I don't think that you will be able to please all of the people all the time if you have words on T-shirts. People have different beliefs!

[Kontessa]

I see it as a cute shirt and not preachy. But.... knowing people who get upset when someone even mentions breastfeeding I can see how some might take it personally or badly if they choose another way of birthing. Some people want to see things a certain way and will twist things.

I had to giggle over the ford post but I do not read your shirt to be at all like that, but rather as another poster mentioned, a little story of what happened!

[Voodoo Lady]

[QUOTE=zinemama;15269302]Well, it's preachy because it implies - actually, more than implies - that no one can have a safe, simple birth anywhere but home. I'm surprised that you don't see that.

************

It's not preachy - I don't agree with this comment at all.

It would be preachy if you said - "born in the ONLY safe place" or something like that.

All it said was that homebirth was safe. It didn't imply that it was better or safer than any other type of birth whatsoever.

Saying something good about homebirth, like the fact that it is safe, doesn't imply that there is something wrong or worse with other methods.

You can say you like or approve of something all you want - it's not preachy at all. That person simply felt ashamed at her own fear of homebirth, and the fact that someone could be confident in it brought up her own shame. I assure you, the "preachy" comment literally had nothing to do with you or your shirt - it just had everything to do with her insecurity - and jealousy that other people are brave enough to do it.

The person in your store just resents your confidence in homebirth - she just wishes she could be that confident. That shirt does not suggest anything other than that homebirth is an option - certainly doesn't say it's the best or only option.

Again, the wording would have to say something like "homebirth - safer than all you dummies doing hospital birth" or "you're an idiot if you don't homebirth" for it to be preachy. All you did was express approval - which shouldn't offend anyone who isn't already defensive or hostile to a topic.

[sattygirl99]

Preachy is the hospital AD I heard on the radio today...

"Want to give her everything? Choose name of hospital and plan a safe, smart pregnancy with a hospital that has a level 3 NICU'. I found THAT to be preachy personally. It implies greatly that if you don't choose said hospital, your pregnancy is not safe nor are you making a smart choice.

Your shirt is cute and simply states, I gave birth safetly, I gave birth smart, I gave birth at home.

I supposed my 'Made at home, born at home' shirt would offend someone too because birth, breastfeeding, parenting and vaccination are just a hot topic.

Stock it! It's adorable and there are plenty who would buy it!

[jeslynmo]

Originally Posted by donutmolly

...but you'll probably also gain some who would like a homebirth shirt.

like me!! I'd love a shirt like that!

[micah_mae_]

What is your Etsy store address? I want one of those!

[dylan1984]

I'll PM you, don't think I'm supposed to post it here

[frenchkissed]

I searched for the phrase on the shirt and found the store.

[Right of Passage]

If you search etsy for homebirth shirts it's one of the few, it's lovely mama! I want to order one! Love the blue color!

[micah_mae_]

Originally Posted by sattygirl99

Preachy is the hospital AD I heard on the radio today...

"Want to give her everything? Choose name of hospital and plan a safe, smart pregnancy with a hospital that has a level 3 NICU'. I found THAT to be preachy personally. It implies greatly that if you don't choose said hospital, your pregnancy is not safe nor are you making a smart choice.

Lol I've been hearing an "ode to doctors" that starts out "Here's to you Drs, because yours is the first face all of us see..."

[phreedom]

I'd roll my eyes and move on. But I also understand that everything is not aimed at me or intended for my use. If I was into home birth or had one myself, I might like it.

I don't think there is anything wrong with home birth, but yes, I would probably inwardly roll my if I saw someone wearing that shirt. I'm not a "message tee" kind of person though. But I wouldn't waste too much time being offended by it. Life is too short for that. And it's not intended to offend.