best compliment you've received

[Honey693]

What's the best compliment about your parenting skills you've been given?

This week my MIL told me I act like I'm on my third kid and it's incredibly refreshing to see someone not freak out about every little thing their kid does.

[laughymama]

We were at the grocery store last week and it was busy, we'd been there awhile and DS had pretty much had enough. He started wailing and struggling to get out of the cart.
So I was feeling pretty frazzled and kept getting really wide eyed looks and a couple of dirty stares from other customers as I was pushing the cart to the front looking for my husband.

So I get to the front and I'm near tears. (I'm pregnant and extra sensitive lately.) I start to turn and a middle aged woman with 3 elementary aged children with her put her hand on my arm, looked me in the eye and said, "You're doing GOOD mama. Keep your chin up! You're doing GREAT."

Not necessarily a compliment as much as it was encouragement but in that moment, it meant the world. I felt great the rest of the day and it boosted my confidence in my parenting on one of the worst days.

[maddymama]

One of the ones that has "stuck" in my brain is this:
We were at breakfast at a restaurant with my DH, DD1 who is 3.5, and DD2 who was 6 months at the time. DD1 is extremely active and sitting at a restaurant is hard for her (we bring magazines, toys, playdough, etc. to survive). There was a very poorly behaved kid at the next table who was about DD1's age. He was up/down, yelling, loud, climbing on the chairs, moving furniture, wouldn't sit, screeching, not eating, etc. People at most of the tables were distracted by his yelling and running around. I could see DD1 trying to figure out his behavior/why he wasn't getting yelled at/ could she get away with it, etc. I was trying to think of a PC way to explain his bad behavior to her. All I could come up with was "What we think is bad behavior they may think is good behavior." A mom at the next table congratulated me on explaining the other kiddos behavior away so well, while positively affirming DD1's behavior.
~maddymama

[Norasmomma]

Well I've had a few that have made me feel better about being a mama.

Recently I have turned a new leaf in my behavior with DD, she has been an incredibly draining child at times, she has LOTS of energy and the last year was pretty difficult with DS's pregnancy and her being a 2 year old. I yelled too much, got angry with her at times, and my fuse was too short I decided recently I didn't want to be that mom. So I started talking with her, reasoning with her, trying to not yell and freak out(I am an emotional firecracker at times). Last week I brought tears to DH's eyes with my behavioral technique. DD was being very difficult and I really had to practice patience with her, and to keep myself from being frustrated. DH observed my transformation and told me how wonderful it was and how I was doing a great job.

I've had a couple other moments where I definitely felt like I am doing a good job. Dh's grandma passed away last Dec and at her funeral I wore DS the whole time in the Moby, the priest told me that I was a "natural and we were very blessed". It made me feel good.

My MIL also has told me that motherhood has given me a glow. She also told me how beautiful I was in labor with DD-not many MILs say that, she rocks.

[limabean]

My aunt, whose boys are grown, said to me, "Seeing the way you are with your kids makes me want to have a do-over with my own."

[dogretro]

Originally Posted by Honey693

This week my MIL told me I act like I'm on my third kid and it's incredibly refreshing to see someone not freak out about every little thing their kid does.

I got a version of that one A LOT when dd was a newborn & I loved it.

Many of the compliments that we get now I think relate to her innate personality as much, or more than, anything we do as parents.

[mummyofan]

The one that means the most to me, as it's from someone who knows her stuff... "You're the most natural Mother I've ever known"
With her job she knows maybe a couple thousand. She's an educator.
It made me feel great, and when I'm having a 'moment' I think on that and the sky clears etc!

[lifeguard]

The first time a couple of my close friends saw me after I had ds (I was living out of the country for the first several months) they said to me that seeing me as a mother was liking seeing someone who was missing their arm with a new arm. It was like they were finally seeing me complete.

My MIL when we first moved back to Canada constantly was gushing about what a natural, wonderful mother I was. It was a real ego booster... hmmm, she hasn't said it in awhile....

[St. Margaret]

I was taking DD and the groceries out to the car, and after I put away the bags in the trunk, I did this thing I always did back then, I took DD out of the wrap and held her up above me three times, saying "Sophie in the sky!" which she loves to this day... it was just my way of really connecting with DD aftering being a little distracted while shopping and before strapping her into the car seat. DD was laughing so I started laughing... This elderly woman going past with her cart said, It's good to see you having FUN with this time!" It made me feel so good. Like, we were living in the moment and this fairy godmother just reminded us that it was those tiny moments that count.

[AllisonR]

OP, what a great thread!

My SIL once said "you are such a relaxed 1st time mom!" I am a confident, relaxed mom, and it made me feel really great that someone else saw this. (Now that I've had my second, I'm probably comatose! )

[velochic]

We've gotten this from a few teachers at school. They say that if they could choose one child to have a roomful of the same child, they would choose our dd. "Whatever you're doing... keep up the good work!" To give credit where credit is due, I have learned from reading here at MDC that dd is an easy child to parent... it's nice, though, to hear that others think that we're getting parenting "right".

[wookie]

2 that come instantly to mind:

Recently after travelling 20 hours by air when we got down at our airpot on the other side of the world, two passengers came up to me and said I did a great job with keeping the kids entertained. One said, "you handled such a long flight so well. it's been one of my best flights with 2 small kids on board! thank you."

The other one came from ds1's (4yo) teacher. "he always participates actively in class. It's obvious you spend a lot of time explaining things to him." I think I may have glowed.

[4evermom]

When ds was about 4, I was letting him jump in the water in the edge of the street. We had just watched the township guy rinse out the street sweeper at the fire hydrant. A police car pulled over and I was sure he was going to tell me I shouldn't let ds do that. Instead, he said "If there was a Mother of the Year award, I'd vote for you."

[Super~Single~Mama]

Someone I know at school, but don't know very well, said to me once, "You seem like such a Happy mom! It's so obvious that you love being a mom!" - My whole day brightened!! I had recently become a single mom, and was loving it, but to have someone tell me it was obvious was great!

And, my mother is my biggest cheerleader. Once I felt badly about something (I don't even know what now ) and I told her what I did and that I felt guilty, and she said, "Thyra, you shouldn't feel badly about that! You are such a good mother! Lincoln is lucky to have you!" I almost cried b/c I really did feel bad! But I guess it wasn't such a huge deal b/c now I don't even remember what happened!

[meemee]

two compliments stand out in my mind.

because they came from people i dont expect to notice such things.

one from an uncle - an intellectual who is so lost in his own world that he does not notice much things. we were visiting him back home and at both times when dd was 8 months and 3 she just adored him. he never notices what new food is being served, new clothes, etc. he told me how much he enjoyed watching dd and i interact with each other. he was impressed by the incredible bond we had. not truly about parenting. but i have always loved that compliment.

my dd goes to school with me and while i attend class she hangs out with the kids in a study/social area. one of the 19 year olds (i am not the only parent there) told me seeing how you are with your dd makes me want to become a father because you guys have so much fun. i mean come on. a high achieving 19 year old noticing parenting. he loves dd though and teaches her karate skills and she is finally picking up on his sarcastic sense of humor.

[mtiger]

A co-worker of mine with children a few years younger than mine (11 & 15, vs 16 & 18) said to me a while back that she uses me as an example in how she interacts with her kids because she wants to have a similar relationship with them as they get older as I do with mine.

Another coworker (with much older children - in their 30s) said she finds it really awesome how I manage to come off as the "cool Mom" while still steering my kids the right way in terms of values, morals and ethics.

[GoBecGo]

My MIL bottle fed, prop-fed, CIO, spanked, yelled, and basically did EVERYTHING i don't do (needless to say, she raised a wonderful son who i am devoted to!). I'm having her 2nd grand child in a few months (DD is her step-grandchild) and we were talking about our approaches and how different they were. She laid out some advice and then added "i don't know that i'm worried, however differently you do it, you've done a lovely job with DD, she's great!" and i glowed! It was lovely to hear someone who disapproves of my methods acknowledging my results

[texmati]

wow... reading this thread makes me realize that I havent heard a single thing aside from DH. The closest is my mom saying... "what you are doing is really hard".

[Monkeygrrl]

My mother has listened to me tell why I do the things I do - which is amazing all on it's own. I am raising my children a bit differently than she raised us, and differently than my brother's are raising theirs. AND I don't go to the family church anymore. So there is always this element - this thing that says my kids are going to be compared to theirs - who's raising the better human being, ya know?

Anyway, recently she mentioned that she appreciated that my children listened when they were spoken to. My brother's boys do not - until they have been spoken to about 10 times - which is annoying and disrespectful.

That's what validation looks like.

peace...

[Trinitty]

While at the library with DD I was keeping up my running conversation / explanations of everything, a nice librarian lady turned to me and said: "Can I come home WITH YOU?"

She went on to ask if I was a teacher, etc, and said the way I spoke to DD and explained every single thing to her made her warm inside.

That was REALLY great to hear, and I will remember it always.

Trin.