EDC/LMP/Conception Date rant

[CookieMonsterMommy]

This just goes right along with trusting machines and technology over women.



I don't know my LMP exactly. it was somewhere around January 22nd or 24th? But my cycle is NOT every 28 days, nor is it regular. It comes every 4-7 weeks, with no rhyme or reason.

I know for a FACT that I conceived this baby on February 14th. I am 9 weeks, 2 days pregnant today. I know this because before that, my BF and I were not getting along (like, for months), and after that, he left for the National Guard, during which time I got the positive pregnancy test.

Simple enough, right? Nope. The midwifery group I went to for my son refuses to go by this. Instead they're going by the sonogram, which places me at 9 weeks 4 days.

Which might not seem like a big deal, but being that midwifery patients are not "allowed" to go past 42weeks 0days, this really annoys me. If I hadn't gotten *this* sono (I was spotting), then a later sono would havew been much less accurate, screwing not only with their induction rules, but just dates in general as related to viability etc. With a hospital birth, days or a week can make a HUGE difference.

I could see if i weren't sure about my dates, period, then go w/the sono. But I know EXACTLY when i conceived this baby. Why not just trust me? If it were an IVF pregnancy (technology! Docotors!) they would trust that...

Silly me, I should have just SAID my LMP was 1/31/10, which would have put my 2 week mark at 2/14/10. Woulda made the numbers look better.

It's just so frustrating.

[Kelly1101]

Originally Posted by CookieMonsterMommy

Silly me, I should have just SAID my LMP was 1/31/10, which would have put my 2 week mark at 2/14/10. Woulda made the numbers look better.

Yep. I think a lot of women just lie about LMP if they know the date.

Sucks that your MW won't just go with what you say. I mean, u/s is going to be off a day or two. Last pregnancy the u/s for me was off like five days, so my OB went with the date I told him (didn't know this was rare, but apparently it is).

[RedOakMomma]

I understand the rant, and think they're being silly, but it IS possible you conceived two days after you had sex.

Why not ask your MWs what happens if you're at 42 weeks and those two days matter?

Sorry to hear about the boyfriend stuff. Hope things are looking up.

[CookieMonsterMommy]

RedOak, it's saying I conceived two days BEFORE I even had sex. And yes, the 2 days matter. At 42 weeks, you're medically induced (they start pushing "natural" induction at 39-40 weeks). If you refuse, you are dropped from their care and transfered to the regular OB practice. Its part of the "deal" they have with the OB practice, there's no wiggle room.

In my case, I'm most likely not going to go with this group anyway, and so it doesn't technically matter. And for me it's only 2 days off. It's just the principal of it.

[MaerynPearl]

It only matters if you make it to 42w0d

and then... no they cant FORCE you to be induced. Its your choice not to go in. Just have a really good birth plan in case you go with the regular OB (they arent evil people in most cases, anyway)

[MacKinnon]

The whole LMP, dating U/S thing is frustrating. I was due 9/8 by LMP, but I was charting, and my chart put me due on 9/13. My OB practice does routine dating ultrasounds, but only moves the date if it's off by more than a week (again, they routine induce at 41 weeks, so a 5 days is a lot in this equation!). So, my two early u/s (due to multiple early losses), dated me at 9/12 and 9/11, respectively. They left my EDD at 9/8, which was 3 or 4 days wrong! I've since transfered to a midwifery practice who just asked me what date I wanted to use. I said 9/12, the latest indicated date, better for my frame of mind!

[CookieMonsterMommy]

Originally Posted by MaerynPearl

It only matters if you make it to 42w0d

and then... no they cant FORCE you to be induced. Its your choice not to go in. Just have a really good birth plan in case you go with the regular OB (they arent evil people in most cases, anyway)

No, it matters now, because I find it offensive. Also, they do twice weekly BPP and placental scans starting at 40wks 3 days, and these are "mandatory". If I don't comply, I am dropped from their care.

I never said I'd be forced to be induced...and I'm aware that most OBs aren't evil. But they will be strangers to me, medically inclined, and I know for a fact that most of doctors in the practice are annoyed to say the least when they "have" to take on midwife patients. I also know for a fact how birth plans are viewed, unfortunately.

And dates also matter when you talk about viability and how certain things are handled (for example PPROM, mandatory NICU admissions, considering viability, etc). Again, this most likely doesn't apply to me, but it's the point of it all, and the fact that sonos are trusted before women. For people who've had later sonos, they can be off 2 weeks or more on either direction.

As a woman and as a labor and delivery nurse I find this very frustrating to say the least.

[RedOakMomma]

Originally Posted by CookieMonsterMommy

RedOak, it's saying I conceived two days BEFORE I even had sex.

Oh duh. Whoops! Yeah, his sperm probably didn't go back in time 48 hours.

Whatever practice you move to, perhaps just fudge your LMP. Without knowing if a practice (OB or midwife) will respect charting, dates, longer cycles, it's probably best to give the information that will mean they get your conception date right.

[~Demeter~]

That has always been frustrating for me as well... especially with my last few pregnancies. I cook mine extra long so it's not unusual for me to make it to 42 weeks. I would try and find another practice that might be a little more sympathetic.

[Sagesgirl]

No, it matters now, because I find it offensive. Also, they do twice weekly BPP and placental scans starting at 40wks 3 days, and these are "mandatory". If I don't comply, I am dropped from their care.

If you don't like the way they practice, then why, pray tell, are you their patient?

[CookieMonsterMommy]

Originally Posted by Sagesgirl

If you don't like the way they practice, then why, pray tell, are you their patient?

I'm not. If you read my posts I mentioned that they were one option I was considering.

For this and other reasons, I am probably not going to be using them. But they are the only midwives on Long Island who do deliveries in a hospital with a good, level 3 NICU, and I wanted to have that open in case I have a child who needs to be born in a hospital (my son was born with a congenital heart malformation and needed quick/immediate access to health care professionals, the NICU and an OR). Unfortunately, this is a sacrafice I may have to make for this baby, though the chances are very slim.

[sarahb918]

Originally Posted by Sagesgirl

If you don't like the way they practice, then why, pray tell, are you their patient?

Oh come on ladies. Are people not allowed to rant on this board? It sounds like she just found out that these are their policies and procedures and now that she knows, she's considering finding alternative care. How was she automatically supposed to know that they were going to give her a hard time? Personally this trusting machines over women isn't what I would expect from a midwife practice so I would be just as upset as she is.

To the OP: That's really frustrating. I am well aware of when I ovulated as well and would be upset if all of my charting were disregarded in favor of a fallible machine

[tracijune]

I'm right there with you! My first ultrasound showed a baby who was supposedly about as week larger than they though she should be. I knew when I DTD and when I ovulated. I threw such a fit (tears, even!) with the ultrasound doc that they just assigned me the date that went with my LMP giving me several extra days of wiggle room on my due date (my date is May 18th, theirs is May 22nd so this is good for me, particularly as this is a VBAC).

Of course now I'm measuring ahead by three weeks, which means they want to do another ultrasound and will give me the "big baby" lecture, more than likely. Fortunately my midwife has been pretty cool so far so I'm hoping we can just keep on focusing on letting nature take it's course.

Good luck finding a practice that makes you feel comfortable. I'm mostly comfortable with mine now, but still sometimes wish I had other options that worked for me because of all the BS that comes with the medical community.

Traci

[MacKinnon]

It's hard to not be believed and trusted I find this sort of thing very frustrating and SOOO unfortunately common. My SIL's due date was wrong by nearly two weeks before her date by charting because they only used LMP. In her case, and ultrasound helped move it back, which was a good thing, in a practice with a rigid induction time frame, being dated so far off would virtually guarantee an induction!

[WingonWing]

That is frustrating. For me, I moved away from a practice immediately when they required a pregnancy test. Really? You don't believe me? I've got another dollar store test I can pee on right in front of you if you'd rather, and it costs....well, $1. I'm not going to set up an extra appointment and pay an extra copay for you to tell me something that I already know.

[Ellen Griswold]

Yeah, the nurse was not super pleased when I told her that I'd rather not do the early ultrasound for dating. I mean, I don't remember the precise date of my LMP (cuz I was on the pill, thinking that this was not an important thing...) but I'm sure I'm only off by a day on either side. She says, "Oh, you're refusing?" like such a thing was incomprehensible. I'm sure the doctor (who is usually cool about stuff) will bring it up at my 12 week. I don't understand why this is a big deal unless I start to measure super big. I haven't made it to my due date yet and doubt I will with this one.

OP, you know when that baby was conceived. Stick to it.

[MaerynPearl]

Originally Posted by WingonWing

That is frustrating. For me, I moved away from a practice immediately when they required a pregnancy test. Really? You don't believe me? I've got another dollar store test I can pee on right in front of you if you'd rather, and it costs....well, $1. I'm not going to set up an extra appointment and pay an extra copay for you to tell me something that I already know.

Not to be a devils advocate, but some ladies are crazy and will seriously go in telling them they are pregnant when they aren't. Its sort of like how they wont treat you for a bladder infection without confirming that its a bladder infection.

[CookieMonsterMommy]

Thank you ladies for understanding.

[tink07]

I don't think they are saying you are wrong b/c of course you are not but just b/c you had sex with your b/f that day doesnt mean you got prego that night. Sperm can live for days inside of a woman. So the sperm might have fertialized the egg 2 days later and that would put the sonogram correct and also you are correct as well.

Just a thought!

[HappyMamaBeth]

I know when I ovulated/conceived and gave my midwife an LMP based on that (which was two days before my actual LMP).  Then I had an ultrasound that put me 5 days ahead of that--they didn't change it then, but when I had another ultrasound that put me a WEEK ahead of that, they changed it.  I know that it's unlikely it will have an effect (my son was born at 39 weeks 5 days, so I'm HOPING I don't go to 42 weeks with this one, but you never know), but I did tell my midwife that I was concerned that if I made it to 42 weeks based on THEIR date that they'd be pushing for induction--when I truly would believe I was only 41 weeks based on when I conceived.  She told me that my "original" due date is still in my chart and that the new one is NOT written in stone, and that should we get to that point, we can reassess the due date issue. 

I can understand your frustration--at first I was thinking "it's only 2 days" but who knows if you might be that woman where those extra two days might actually matter, ya know???  I hope you're able to find a provider that is willing to listen to what you're saying. :)  You'd think since it IS "only" two days that they'd be okay with keeping the date YOU are giving them.