How to convince 3.5yo that crabs will NOT crawl out of the toilet?!

[furfeet]

About 2 months ago, DS1 "jokingly" told DS2 that crabs can crawl up the pipes and out of the toilet. Now he's scared of things crawling out of the toilet and no amount of convincing by dh ds or myself will change his mind. I thought it would blow over but 2 months later here we are.
He has been completely potty trained (except overnight) for over a year. He potty trained himself, dh and I pretty much had nothing to do with it
But now he's started having accidents because he's afraid to sit on the toilet. Sometimes he'll let us know and then we can go into the bathroom for moral support, but he doesn't always let us know when he has to go.
This is probably the only fear he's ever had in his whole life, he loves to do things by himself and be brave. He's a smart little kid but I just can't figure out a way to convince him he's safe sitting on the toilet. Any ideas?

[pacificbliss]

Sorry, I shouldn't laugh but it's so cute... I know, it's not cute and more of a pain when it's your kid that won't sit on the toilet.
Sometimes we fight little imaginations with a little imagination of our own. If you put a sticker under the toilet seat and told him crabs don't like it would he go for it?

[Flower of Bliss]

That is too cute, but I can't imagine how frustrating it is.

Along those lines, what about making a special solution to scare away the crabs? Say water with food dye? And flush it down each of your toilets?

[_betsy_]

Is it time for him to start peeing standing up? (I only have girls, so this isn't my area of expertise!)

I was going to suggest sending yourself an "anti-toilet-crab solution" in a package so it looked like you ordered it online. Maybe even print out a sticker for the container/bottle that has the international sign for no and a crab and a toilet, so he can see it.

[LittleYellow]

When my dd's were afraid of sharks, wolves and bears being in thier room at bedtime they really responded to learning about the actual habitats of those animals and then understanding that their room (for sharks) and our town (for the other two) is just not where they live. Once they learned it wasn't possible, the fear was gone.

[hakeber]

In Costa Rica by the beach towns, this actually happens. I didnt believe DS when he told me there was a crab in his bathroom at the beach apartment we had rented, but then I saw it with my own eyes...about 4 inches wide and fearsome looking claws.

I was scared!

Maybe let him poop and pee in a training potty until he sees for himself how rarely this happens, where YOU are from, with his own eyes.

[hakeber]

Originally Posted by LittleYellow

When my dd's were afraid of sharks, wolves and bears being in thier room at bedtime they really responded to learning about the actual habitats of those animals and then understanding that their room (for sharks) and our town (for the other two) is just not where they live. Once they learned it wasn't possible, the fear was gone.

This did not deter my son from being afriad of shark attacks on land. I went this route:

Originally Posted by _betsy_

Is it time for him to start peeing standing up? (I only have girls, so this isn't my area of expertise!)

I was going to suggest sending yourself an "anti-toilet-crab solution" in a package so it looked like you ordered it online. Maybe even print out a sticker for the container/bottle that has the international sign for no and a crab and a toilet, so he can see it.

Except I just bought an empty hair sprayer bottle at the dollar store and made a label with various red circles with lines through them containing the fears of the moment: sharks, spiders, crabs, whales and ghosts. We sprayed before bed in all corners. This helped until the fears went away.

[eepster]

I second getting him a little training potty to use for now.

Reading about things really helps DS understand things. I would go to the library and see if I could find books about both crabs and the sewer systems in the childrens section. Just read them carefully yourself first though to make sure they don't talk about what happens in Costa Rican beach bungalows, or bring up sew alligators .

[hakeber]

If you're not interested in the training potty, maybe you could explain that flushing the toilet clears everything in it and in the pipes leading up to it into the sea again, and so if he flushes first and THEN goes and then flushes again afterwards, the crabs won't have time to climb back up the pipes while he is going. It would take even the fastest climbing crab hours to get from the sea back to your toilet and thats assuming it could even FIND your toilet again, the chances of which are very low.



This is a bit wasteful of water, but then again so are extra loads of laundry from having to clean up accidents.

eta: for the rest of the week ds had me check for crabs before using the bathroom, and I suggested he also do the pre-flush just out of good common sense. We did find another one in his bathtub later that week, Smaller though. I thought I had seen everything when I found a scorpion in my bathtub here once, but the crabs took the cake!

[meemee]

you dont. you dont try to 'belittle' his fear (not saying that's what you are doing) but to say that's not true would be exactly that. so believe it and take it seriously.

this is the age of illogical irrational fears where their imagination explodes but goes against them by creating these fears.

you try and try and keep on trying till you find a way your son accepts that reasoning. if he likes humor then use humor to come up with ways to figure this out.

fear of the toilet (actually them or things flushing away) is the most common fear. so is the bathtub drain.

ask him if it would help if you went with him. take some dyed vinegar and tell him its anti crab spray which is why its stinky- just like pp said - something crabs dont like and wont appear if its in the water.

[SunshineJ]

Honestly what I'd probably do is call up a plumber, explain the situation and ask if I brought DS by would he give him an "official plumbing lesson" for twenty bucks. Kids usually believe professionals as long as they aren't mom and dad, and he'd learn something as well!

ETA: DH suggested you have a friend that your son doesn't know about come over as a plumber and "install" an trap device to keep all crabs and vermin out of the system.

[philomom]

Some good ideas here. Also, a trip to the pet store or beach and a talk about where crabs really live... not the potty... might help. Especially if he was told by a preschool teacher, friendly librarian or zoo volunteer.

[Just1More]

I would probably rig conversations with various people. You know, the mailman brings mail to our door and says something like, "You know, it's the oddest thing. I never realized until yesterday that the curved part of the toliet pipe is to keep the crabs from coming in." And then our neighbor happens to say, "Seems like our pipes our getting clogged up. There's no way even a fly could get through there even if they wanted to!"

And then somebody else with some random fact about toliets and the impossibility of things coming up them. (hakeber-your story disturbs me, lol.)

[furfeet]

thanks everyone, your stories and advice helped me see the humor in this and also come up with a plan that's working already.
I "ordered" some crab repellent concentrate (red food coloring) and we mixed it up yesterday in an old glass bottle with a big cork stopper on it. It looks really burly and serious
DS can pour a little potion in the toilet before he has to go and flush it down, the best part is it repels anything that may be in the pipes. (I'm thinking of finding something to put in the tanks for long-term)
Both boys really love this idea and ds already told me he's not afraid to sit on the toilet anymore. Which is awesome because it was breaking my heart to see him struggling so much... I mean he was so terrified he was pooping his pants
But he's feeling better now, so thanks all

[Just1More]

Do you ever use those things that hang on the side of the bowl and make the water blue when you flush? Maybe that could be the long term thing. You know, you have to change the crab repellant every now and then...like your air filter, lol.

[furfeet]

ooo that's a good idea, I'll pick one of those up for sure. I think he'd much rather have the repellent be automatically dispensed than have to pour it in each time