kool-aid and donuts at 8:45am?!

[blessedwithboys]

so i went to an award ceremony at school today and afterward they served kool-aid and donuts. teachers are constantly using candy for rewards. they sell "juice products" in the vending machines. i'm getting sick and tired of this, so i approached the principal. he wasnt too interested, but the cafeteria manager agreed with me 100% that somethign needs to change.

i wrote a letter to the principal. tell me what you think!



Hello Mr. (principal),

I am writing to you to follow up on our chat at the Honor Roll ceremony. First, I would like to take the opportunity to tell you how much I appreciate Ms. (cafeteria manager). Every time I have spoken with her about the foods our school serves, she has been very receptive and empathetic. She has invited me into her kitchen on more than one occasion to show me the different food items so that I could take a look at the ingredients and nutrition information. I know that she and I feel the same way about the need to provide children with healthy food options. Our school is lucky to have her.

I’ve been looking over the (name of our county) School Wellness Policy again since I got home from the ceremony this morning. It has really struck me as ironic that we spent three hours discussing how to appropriately attire our students in preparation for the workforce, yet we are complacent in feeding them foods that increase the chances of them entering their careers as adults battling obesity, high blood pressure, unhealthy cholesterol levels, and Type II diabetes. Don’t you agree with me that it’s now time to reconsider our priorities with regard the messages we are sending the children?

I understand from our conversation that our school follows the Wellness Policy as far as participating in the National School Lunch Program. The NSLP itself has a slew of issues that need to be addressed, but what I am most concerned with right now is the failure to adhere to the guidelines regarding the role of food served as part of school celebrations.

Our Wellness Policy asserts that food should be used neither for reward nor punishment. Let’s use the Honor Roll ceremony as an example: Hopefully every child worked to the best of their ability to master the lessons given during the grading period. For a variety of reasons, some children made higher grades than others. Setting aside debate about the psychological and emotional ramifications on those excluded for having lower-than-ideal grades, do higher-scoring kids deserve a special reward for their A’s and B’s? Aren’t the good grades themselves their own intrinsic reward? It was suggested to me today that Kool-Aid and donuts are a reward for good grades. That is ridiculous. Even if parents would not be content with their child being rewarded by pride, self-satisfaction, and a fancy certificate, why on earth would junk food be served at the ceremony? Here is a wonderful quote from the Wellness Policy:

“Rewarding children with unhealthy foods in school undermines our efforts to teach them about good nutrition. It’s like teaching children a lesson on the importance of not smoking, and then handing out ashtrays and lighter to the kids who did the best job listening.” ~ Marlene Schwartz, PhD, Co-Director, Yale Center for Eating and Weight Disorders.

I am not afraid the rock the boat. I would be more than happy to assist our school to comply with the Wellness Policy in any way I can. The Wellness Policy mentions that each school should have a Wellness Committee. This is the third year our family has been at (name of school), and it’s also the third year I have been offering to head up the committee. Ms. (cafeteria manager)has indicated the she is not opposed to buying healthier options for the Honor Roll ceremonies next year, so I believe that I am not alone in my desire to make improvements. Maybe (PTO president) could send a mass email to probe for parental interest. I’m sure that there won’t be too many parents eager to participate, but if 7 or 8 parents were permitted to select uniform colors for the whole school, why can’t even just three or four parents be allowed to make better food choices?

I’ve been really happy with the direction our school has taken this year. There are some very exciting things planned and I’m glad that my boys will be able to benefit from them. I look forward to hearing from you with the date of the first Wellness Committee meeting.

Thank you so much for your time,

blessedwithboys

[MattBronsil]

Can I, tongue-in-cheek, both agree with what you said AND say I wish I could have been there for the free donuts and Kool-Aid? :-)

[Drummer's Wife]

I think it's good that you wrote a letter since you feel so strongly about it. My kids' school serves a lot healthier options than many other districts in the country, but they do have junk-y stuff at times, too. When my DD was in the spelling Bee, the first round took place in the morning (9:30 - school starts at 9), and when it was over we had cake and pink punch. Well, the kids did - I didn't b/c the cake didn't sound appealing and I can't do red dye anything (and don't like fake juices at all).

Honestly, it was a special occasion, and I'm sure the PTO just thought it would be something the families and students would enjoy. I guess it could be considered a reward for the hard work the kids put into studying spelling words and standing in front of the audience, but I don't look at it as a negative reward system (and I am not fond of food for rewards as in if you finish your work you get to pick out a sucker, kind of thing). If they were serving it everyday, I would be irritated, but they aren't and I'm very happy with the education they receive (it's a Montessori public school).

I hope you get somewhere with the teachers using candy as rewards... b/c a once in a while thing doesn't bother me at all, but if it happened frequently, it would.

[blessedwithboys]

sure you can! ha ha

i feel so bad for ds. i caved and told him he could have half a donut and no kool-aid. we followed procedure and waited patiently at our seat to be served but the parent volunteers didnt come our way so i finally got up to go hunt down a stupid donut only to find out they were all gone bc so many kids ran over to the table and just grabbed whatever they wanted. the sweet lunch lady felt bad though and gave him a free milk. ds was gracious but not at all satisfied. LOL

[blessedwithboys]

[QUOTE=Drummer's Wife;15272117]Honestly, it was a special occasion, and I'm sure the PTO just thought it would be something the families and students would enjoy. I guess it could be considered a reward for the hard work the kids put into studying spelling words and standing in front of the audience, but I don't look at it as a negative reward system (and I am not fond of food for rewards as in if you finish your work you get to pick out a sucker, kind of thing). If they were serving it everyday, I would be irritated, but they aren't and I'm very happy with the education they receive (it's a Montessori public school).QUOTE]

yeah, its all. the. time. 4 honor roll ceremonies per year, plus a b-day at least once a week. holidays. rewards for the class with the highest fund raiser totals. just because. walking quietly in the hallway. turning in HW. day ending in "Y".

i'm not surprised though, bc there a LOT of fat teachers at our school. i guess its just how things are (yes, i know lots of obese ppl who eat well. but lets be honest, most fat ppl have poor diets)

[mtiger]

Originally Posted by blessedwithboys

but lets be honest, most fat ppl have poor diets)

As do a lot of skinny people.

[Tigerchild]

Are you *sure* it was the school itself providing refreshments for this thing? At our school, that sort of thing is picked up by the PTA. The school only provides the free breakfasts for those eligible and lunch. If there are refreshments at other times that is always donated by the PTA or the teachers as individuals.

Maybe you could offer to donate the refreshments for the reward ceremonies from here on out, through the PTA or whoever needs to be contacted about that?

Buying a bunch of donuts and picking up some koolaid is a lot cheaper than buying a fruit plate and cheese and crackers. And a lot of times convenience factors in here as well, esp. at early morning or busy day gatherings.

Just saying, it's fine to complain but you'll probably get more active change if you offer to do something pragmatic (like volunteering to provide refreshments), and if you really want to start up a committee the go to group for that is probably going to be the PTA rather than the principal. So I hope that you get a chance to follow up that letter with some emails/calls to other folks too, people who probably are going to have more time and energy to get something like this started.

[blessedwithboys]

before this goes the wrong way, let me just say that i am a fat person. LOL hopefully that will head off sizism accusations

the donuts were bought by the cafeteria manager. she would prefer fruit, cheese, and crackers.

i've been trying to get the PTO to care about this for 3 yrs. now i'm gonna whine to the principal.

i guess i may not send the email after all, but it felt good to get it off my chest.

what i may do, since no one else seems to care about their own kids' health, is just have my lawyer write something up saying i dont want my 3rd grader given any food that didnt come from home.

[je309]

Originally Posted by blessedwithboys

lets be honest, most fat ppl have poor diets
before this goes the wrong way, let me just say that i am a fat person. LOL hopefully that will head off sizism accusations

While I can appreciate what you are doing and I agree with it, the most important thing you can do is to get your OWN diet and health in check. YOU are setting the most important example for your children and you are their most important role model. The types of habits you teach them at home (and by teach, I mean model for them by your own actions) are the ones that are going to make the biggest impact on them.

[velochic]

Originally Posted by blessedwithboys

what i may do, since no one else seems to care about their own kids' health, is just have my lawyer write something up saying i dont want my 3rd grader given any food that didnt come from home.

I think this is going to be very, very difficult for both you and your 3rd grader. We have a medical exemption at dd's school and it's still hard. Every single time they have something brought in (bday parties, mostly), we have to clear it with the teacher. The answer is often "no" because dd can't have processed food. It would be nice if they let us know ahead of time so we can send in something special to "join in", but it never works that way. In my dd's case, it's a food intolerance, so there are medical ramifications to what she eats. However, making a blanket request like that could backfire on you.

For the most part, I agree with you on what you're trying to do. I just disagree that most fat people eat poorly. I'm overweight, too, and probably have one of the healthiest diets of anyone. My downfall is cream sauces, but other than that, I don't even like chocolate, so almost never eat sweets. I just don't exercise. There are a lot of people who are fat that are healthier than skinny people who are walking around with heart disease, high cholesterol, etc. but look good in a bikini while toting around their big mac and fries. Of course, weight is an outward indicator, and many *do* have poor diets. But many also have healthy diets and are not active enough. Many have other medical problems. The reasons are just too broad to really make such a judgmental statement like you did.

[blessedwithboys]

Originally Posted by je309

While I can appreciate what you are doing and I agree with it, the most important thing you can do is to get your OWN diet and health in check. YOU are setting the most important example for your children and you are their most important role model. The types of habits you teach them at home (and by teach, I mean model for them by your own actions) are the ones that are going to make the biggest impact on them.

my diet is in check. i am overweight bc of a medical condition that makes it very hard for me to do strenuous activity, combined with a genetic predisposition to obesity. i stay "active" though i do not "work out". my weight was normal b4 i got sick. i can completely understand why someone would look at me and think i had some nerve to be talking about healthy eating.

but the point of this thread was "is the letter any good?" i was asked by the cafeteria manager to write to the principal, and so i have. just wanted some critique before sending it. thanks!

[Tigerchild]

Have you volunteered to coordinate refreshments for this kind of event before?

I'm a little confused as to what you mean by you've tried to get the PTO to care for 3 years. Depending on what all goes on at your school, I could see a group being kind of meh about a general thing "Let's get more healthy food at the school!" or "Let's start up another committee". They might be more receptive to, "I'd love to coordinate a group of volunteers who can take turns/work together to provide refreshments at the school awards ceremonies, as a gift to the school," because A) it means there's automatically someone doing something, and B) there is a specific goal/purpose/event it's tied to.

I wouldn't rely on a letter to the principal about no outside food for your child. Sounds like you attend these events with them, in which case it's up to you to enforce, you can pack the lunch, and then you just tell the individual teacher. A letter in your file may or may not get the result you want--if not having a donut, koolaid, cheetos, or whatever else is your goal, you'll probably have to talk to the person who's going to be directly supervising your child (over and over again, probably) as well as to your child. Don't rely on a paper shield. Sometimes that doesn't even work for kids with actual allergies!

[emilysmama]

Originally Posted by velochic

I think this is going to be very, very difficult for both you and your 3rd grader. We have a medical exemption at dd's school and it's still hard. Every single time they have something brought in (bday parties, mostly), we have to clear it with the teacher. The answer is often "no" because dd can't have processed food. It would be nice if they let us know ahead of time so we can send in something special to "join in", but it never works that way. In my dd's case, it's a food intolerance, so there are medical ramifications to what she eats. However, making a blanket request like that could backfire on you.

First, about the letter. I think in general it is fine. I do think the positive statement at the end of the letter would be better to be at the beginning of the letter, to soften the blow of the criticism. I think following up with an appointment with the principal to discuss how you can help would be useful. For example, do they need someone instead of the cafeteria manager to purchase the snacks next time? Then you could volunteer to do it. My guess is that there is a convenience/time issue involved somewhere in this that the cafeteria manager didn't have a chance to tell you.

As for the request about food, I don't think it's that big a deal. I wrote a very detailed document that essentially told the school not to feed my all-day kindergartener anything except water. It was mostly because of medical reasons, but I didn't need a lawyer or even a physician to write or sign anything. There was no medical authority to back up my request. I was just a parent who said that my child must not consume anything that was not brought from home. I just wrote in exact detail the scenarios I anticipated would happen (spontaneous celebrations, birthday treats, lesson plans related to cooking), and how I wanted the school to deal with it. I had a face-to-face meeting with the principal (and school nurse), and then another face-to-face meeting with the teacher, and most important, I had a very serious talk with my daughter. And now that the school year is mostly done, ... it went just fine. The teacher and principal took me very seriously because I had a very clearly thought out plan that required no additional work by the teacher in order to ensure that my daughter's diet at school would not work to the detriment of her school performance. (The teacher and principal were fantastic about this!) But it's not just this school. I did the same thing for my dd's daycare/preschool, years before, and they were fine with it.

[velochic]

Originally Posted by emilysmama

As for the request about food, I don't think it's that big a deal. I wrote a very detailed document that essentially told the school not to feed my all-day kindergartener anything except water. It was mostly because of medical reasons, but I didn't need a lawyer or even a physician to write or sign anything.

I didn't mention it, but do in just about every post I make here... dd is in private school - her 5th year there. Her lunch is part of tuition, so we have to have a medical exemption to get a partial refund for lunch costs. That medical exemption extends to every food served at school. A simple note was not enough. Sorry I didn't mention that.

Yes, OP... I think your letter is fine. But I would proceed with caution. If you haven't seen it, take a look at the British chef Jamie Oliver's website (google for it) about the school food changes he's made in Britain and wanting to change in America. He might have some tips on how to proceed. Good luck with it! It's a good cause.

[EFmom]

Originally Posted by blessedwithboys

what i may do, since no one else seems to care about their own kids' health, is just have my lawyer write something up saying i dont want my 3rd grader given any food that didnt come from home.

Huh? I think it's a big jump from donuts at a rewards ceremony to "no one else seems to care about their own kids' health."

Personally, while I think kool-aid is beyond disgusting, stuff served at ceremonies like this doesn't bother me a bit. My kids eat healthy most of the time. They probably wouldn't take a donut if offered (there are other junky treats they would take), but if they did, I hardly think that makes me a lousy parent.

[blessedwithboys]

i dont need to offer to take on the responsibility of going out to buy healthier snacks. the cafeteria manager is glad to buy them instead of donuts. its no trouble or extra work for her to do so. she is restricted, however, bc of what was described to me as "the custom of buying donuts". what she wants me to do is try to interest the new principal enough to get him on board.

yes, i have seen at least two episodes of jamie olivers show. i think its awesome and maybe the lunch lady and i are trying to recreate it a bit at our school.

yk, i'm a bit amazed at the blase attitude of so many posters toward their kids being served repulsive garbage labeled "food" at school. i understand that a parent cant possibly protect their child from every. single. little. thing. in life, but really? most of you dont thing its a bit...wrong to serve this sort of crap for what amounts to a second breakfast? that surprises me, considering this is MDC.

emilysmama, thanks for the constructive criticism of my letter. thats what i was lookign for. i have repeatedly asked for ds not to be served garbage, but it keeps happening. so, maybe for yr 4 i should do something to make it more "official". thats all i was thinking of. if the school isnt willing to do their part to care for our kids, then maybe i should just resort to an extreme measure.

i dont think the worlds most extreme natural living mother would mind an occasional treat, but with schools its not occasional, its every freaking day. enough is enough already.

[velochic]

Originally Posted by blessedwithboys

i dont think the worlds most extreme natural living mother would mind an occasional treat, but with schools its not occasional, its every freaking day. enough is enough already.

I think this is the important part. In my dd's school, this would be a once-a-year event. But if it's frequent, that would raise my ire, as well.

For my dd's school, they have a lot of evening activities at the school and they *always* have wine and cheese there. It's like they can't have a meeting without lubricating it.

[yokosmile]

I would comment on the letter, but I fell into a coma half way through it. Just instill good eating habits in your kid at home and it'll get the job done. Man.

[moondiapers]

Originally Posted by yokosmile

I would comment on the letter, but I fell into a coma half way through it. Just instill good eating habits in your kid at home and it'll get the job done. Man.

Kids are at school for more of their awake hours than they are at home. Seems likely that the school would have more influence in this case.

[blessedwithboys]

thank you for that moondiapers. yokosmile, were you constructively suggesting the letter be shortened? what parts shoudl be taken out or reduced?

i fully realize that i have no control over what other parents choose to do at home, i dont even have full control over what my kids choose to do away from our home. but i love my kids enough to want the best for them, and i care about kids in general to advocate for something that is in their best interest.