How do I talk to my kids about their cousin having mild autism

[laila2]

sadly my DN has recently been diagnosed with a mild form of autism. It is not a surprise to us. He barely talks in sentences, and plays alone in daycare. He just turned 3.

My children, 6.5 and 3.5, were questioning what is wrong. All I could think to say at the time is, 'he will have trouble making friends. It is sad".
What is a better way to explain to them that there cousin has this. I have not been given the exact form of autism from my brother.

[Linda on the move]

all kids with autism are different, so as you understand better what is going on with your DN, you'll be able to explain more to your kids. For now, I would explain that his brain works a little differently. All people are different, but some are a little more different than others. In the chat, I'd include positive things about your DN. He isn't just a kid with autism, he's a kid who likes to__________ and really is good at ___________.

[moss]

hit up your library and find some kids books that explain autism. there was one that we thought was really cute called 'All Cats Have Asperger Syndrome'. there was another one called 'my friend has autism' (or something like that) that ds's school used when he was in kindergarten, to help explain autism to his class. it was really good at explaining things from a child's perspective.

[sbgrace]

Your kids asked what is wrong because they over-heard something or because their own interactions were different or ?

I would (do...to my son's twin) just say his brain works differently and that makes some things harder for him and other things easier. Everyone is different (in a celebratory sense) is the motto around here. Yep, everyone has different colors of skin/hair/eyes, different shapes, some are quiet/some are loud, some are fast runners and some find math easy--isn't it cool! Everyone is different. Autism is part of that here.

[QueenOfTheMeadow]

I think it's great that you are actively seeking education for yourself and your children. My oldest son is on the autism spectrum and I have seen many people stumble over how to discuss this with their children. My sister, who is a special educator, told me that the best way to discuss this sort of thing with my other children is to talk about strengths and weaknesses. Everyone has them. And to try to point out ds1's strengths instead of his weaknesses. Using positive language in situations like this is incredibly important. Your best bet is to teach your child to celebrate the differences within themselves and within your nephew, because children often internalise your words. You wouldn't want your child to think that it is sad if he isn't good at gymnastics or math.