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Down right nasty little girl!!! What to do. - Page 2

post #21 of 23
[QUOTE=Mirzam;15281129]Aren't you in the least bit concerned that you are giving him the message that his words are of no value, by not allowing him to express himself. How would you feel if you were trying to express your feelings and were told you couldn't speak because they were unacceptable? I am not judging you on your disciplinary methods, but just wondering if it might not be counter-productive in the long run.


No, I am not in the least bit concerned. I am confident that the interactions we have the other 97% of the time balance (support) how I choose to make a strong point when one is needed. And we don't get to a point of "you are now no longer allowed to speak to me till you calm down" until after we've been trying to talk it over for a while and he just isn't hearing.

I think when these guys get to the point where they're yelling hurtful things, or what they perceive to be hurtful things, they're in the midst of a new feeling and are exploring it. I'm mad and I want to vent so I'm just going to go with it, which brings on the adrenaline and can then start to spiral. He is more than encouraged to express himself; however, he is not encouraged to do so in a thoughtless and hurtful way. I definitely think there are times when it is appropriate to pull out a mama bear reaction, and that though they're kids, they don't need to be treated with kid gloves all the time.
post #22 of 23
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hanbonem View Post
I think when these guys get to the point where they're yelling hurtful things, or what they perceive to be hurtful things, they're in the midst of a new feeling and are exploring it. I'm mad and I want to vent so I'm just going to go with it, which brings on the adrenaline and can then start to spiral. He is more than encouraged to express himself; however, he is not encouraged to do so in a thoughtless and hurtful way. I definitely think there are times when it is appropriate to pull out a mama bear reaction, and that though they're kids, they don't need to be treated with kid gloves all the time.
post #23 of 23



No, I am not in the least bit concerned. I am confident that the interactions we have the other 97% of the time balance (support) how I choose to make a strong point when one is needed. And we don't get to a point of "you are now no longer allowed to speak to me till you calm down" until after we've been trying to talk it over for a while and he just isn't hearing.

I think when these guys get to the point where they're yelling hurtful things, or what they perceive to be hurtful things, they're in the midst of a new feeling and are exploring it. I'm mad and I want to vent so I'm just going to go with it, which brings on the adrenaline and can then start to spiral. He is more than encouraged to express himself; however, he is not encouraged to do so in a thoughtless and hurtful way. I definitely think there are times when it is appropriate to pull out a mama bear reaction, and that though they're kids, they don't need to be treated with kid gloves all the time.[/QUOTE]
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