Active, loud, rambunctious boys

[MyBaby'sSmile]

I feel like 90% of my day is spent in a whirlwind. My boys don't walk they run, they chase, they climb. They don't talk they screach. They are sweet boys, but they are so rough on the house. One is almost 8 and the other 4.

I have tried everything that I can think of to teach them to be respectful in voice, and actions.

Lately I feel so worn down because they aren't listening, they are doing things they know they shouldn't be, and the youngest one is screaching at me to try and get what he wants.

Anyone been at this point and been able to make significant changes?

Btw, I homeschool, so we are always together. I have tried making rules/consequences lists together, positive behaviour charts, cool down chair etc.

[sewingmommy]

My boys are 7 and 3 and they are totally rambunctious ....but I feel as long as they are not hurting each other thats fine ...they have a ton of energy and need to burn it off

[LynnS6]

How much outside time do they get? How much large motor time do they get? IMO, a lot of kids (boys and girls) need a LOT more outside and large motor time than they get.

Our ds (8) spends a lot of time rollerblading around the house. Fast. Really fast. We've got a nice little loop - from the living room, through a corner of the dining room, into the kitchen, through the hall, back into the living room. The space isn't that big and I swear I'm going to sign this kid up for a short track speed skating team. (He's even figured out how to make tight turns.) When he's not doing that, he will sometimes 'luge' down the stairs on an old air mattress. He needs this physical activity, and he's actually not that active of a child. He's moderately, but not highly active.

Dd (5) tends more toward standing on the arm of the couch and falling down and dancing through the living room. She likes to tumble and swing. (We've had to take turns dancing and rollerblading because the combination is definitely going to lead to disaster!)

As for the screeching and whining about not getting what they want, we get that with dd. We've become quite firm lately -- first we ask her to use a normal voice. IF she can't help whining, then she can go to her room and whine to herself. It shortens my temper tremendously to be whined at.

My kids are pretty good about not screaming and yelling, but that's because we're all pretty sound sensitive. I think they're the exception rather than the rule.

For me, I just sort of accept that having kids means they'll be hard on the house, and that things will be loud at times. When it's too loud, I send them outside. If they break something, they help fix it. Even at 5 and 8, my kids can do that. Dd (5) is a pro at cleaning things up. Ds is old enough to help repair anything he breaks on his breakneck tours through the house. (OK, I've given up on the carpet, but it was ruined when they were toddlers. )

I've got a friend whose kids can fix holes in walls, repair doors and replace windows. All learned as they were fixing mistakes they'd made. Maybe not the perspective you want to take, but it was very liberating for me.

[cappuccinosmom]

Well, I have three noisy boys.

For some cases, the cure is simply "If you cannot quite down/stop jumping on the couch, you will take the loud outside. Bye." Now that the weather is nice, I have started taking them outside and having them run a circuit in the back yard, usually three times around before we sit down and try to get any work done. This was done when I was in school--acting up would get us sent out for a quick jog with a teacher's assistant to supervise. Those of us who were just acting up pulled it together after one lap. The kids who really needed the outlet and couldn't settle down might end up doing two or three laps but benefitted from the energy release, so it worked for both.

As for screeching or screaming for me to get something...in our house the rule is that if you scream for something or scream at me, whatever it was you wanted you can be sure you're not getting.

[violet]

Hurrah for boy energy. I second the outside time. We got home last night from a long car trip (6 hrs) and DH and I were exhausted and in no mood to do anything but unpack and relax. But instead, we made quick sandwiches and loaded the kids back in the car to go to the park. We flew kites in the setting sun-downer offshore winds and RAN RAN RAN. Once cold and tired we went home for baths. I cannot stress enough the importance of outside/big body movement in our family. Trampoline outside. I made some spandex swings for inside http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qf_vR...eature=related (thats not my kid, but cute singing) and we do races in the house or daily walks to the park nearby. And take solace in this piece of mom wisdom I once heard "When they are all go, you know you won't have to worry about keeping them motivated in life, just channel the energy towards good goals." hehe

[Alyantavid]

I'm in the same boat, mine are even the same ages.

I can handle the energy level, the constant movement. It's the volume that gets to me. As long as they're behaving (mostly) and no one's getting hurt, I try to tune them out and let them be.

[PGTlatte]

I am in a very similar situation - two wild boys - ages 4.5 and 7 - homeschooled.

I send mine out into the back yard in any weather, or down into our finished basement play area with the door shut.

I refuse to listen to any requests that are delivered as a scream or screech.

If they are relentlessly fighting/yelling at each other, I put them in separate parts of the house.

Sometimes I resort to telling them that neither of them gets even one thing from me until I've had 15 uninterrupted minutes of quiet. Then they go off together and keep it down for a while.

[jpaigeadams]

I'm the older sister to 3 younger brothers who are close in age ( but I am 8 yrs older than the oldest boy), and they were terrors when they were young! I just wanted to reassure you that wild, rambunctious, seemingly endlessly destructive (but really just endlessly curious), highly energetic boys CAN and DO grow up to be normal men capable of talking in a quiet voice, of being still for minutes at a time, of being able to put back together that which they took apart. My brothers are sweet, compassionate, kind, loving and lovable human beings that I am proud to know. But if you had asked me what they were going to turn out like when they were young, the answer would have been quite different. So hang in there!

[umsami]

Sounds like my boys.

The best way I've found is to make sure that they have plenty of active time. Back when we lived in a really really small apartment in Brooklyn, we had a small mini-trampoline. They would bounce on it for 15-20 minutes easily... each. We also spent lots of time at the park. A day without lots of active breaks was a tough day for everybody.

Now that we're in a larger home, we still need to schedule regular activity breaks. In fact, when I see them becoming louder, more defiant..etc... that's my clue that we need to go outside (or even stay inside) and run races... play ball... go to the park, etc. Even 10 minutes can make all of the difference.

Back when my eldest was just a baby, I saw a Mom of two boys at a park. Her kids were probably 5 and 7 or so. She was having them race back and forth to a fence. They must have done it at least 5 times. I didn't understand then... but I sure do now.

With all that, we do have house rules. Whining/crying/demanding something... that's an automatic no. If you ask nicely (preferably with a please....)... you might actually have your request granted.

Also, if the boys are really loud, one technique that works well is to whisper to them. No idea why it works... but it does.