DD is 7 (8 in a couple of months) and in the last months her attachment to things has been getting really intense. I think it is related to us moving several times in the last year, and her trying to keep some constants in her life.
Yet I'm not sure how to help her cope. She's been insisting that she wants to keep every little thing she now owns, in boxes in the basement, forever. When it started, she said she only wanted to keep her special things, and i told her that was fine. She seemed relieved, but then it escalated to her wanting to keep everything. She cries about it daily. She says she loves her belongings so much.
During one of the moves, 7 months ago, we tossed out her old winter boots--too small, too stinky, with holes. I dind't think much of it. She was upset at the time, but they wouldn't fit into the suitcase, it was sandal weather, and it was not an item I would have kept anyway. Though I do understand that discarding them in the same time as the move from the place she loved, was a bad idea, I had no idea how this issue would grow. If I knew, I would have carried them in my teeth!
She used to talk about them almost weekly. Now it is almost daily, and she cries too. About her love for the boots. I apologised for tossing them out. I acknowledged that I understood her feelings. This seemed to only intensify her sadness.
Now she also has a bunk bed that doesn't fit into the new house. It currently occupies one of the rooms downstairs, but upstairs, where the kids' rooms are, the ceiling is lower. She cries about this bed almost daily, not wanting to sell it. We need to sell it so that we have the money to build a loft bed for her. We already built a lovely loft for her brother. She likes it, she wants the same. And yet she won't agree to selling the bed--she cries and cries.
I don't know how to help her cope, or how to cope with this myself.
On one hand, I could let her have her room downstairs, while DS is upstaris, and move the masterbedroom into the attic area. This way she can keep her bed. But the whole set-up is not very convenient for the house hold, and I selfishly was looking forward to having this room as an office. I was also looking forward to the toy free downstairs, in a few years, with all the kids upstairs. For many reasons I'm not happy with her having her bedroom / toys downstairs, but maybe I should give up.
I could basically lie her that I will keep all of her belongings in boxes, and hope that this issue will pass, but I'm worried I'd be encouraging something very unhealthy.
I suggested we take a photo of every item she has, and write something about it, and create an album--she cries only more. I suggested we find a charity she likes to donate too--she is not keen on this idea either. Selecting only the most special things--more crying.
I'm on the verge of scheduling a councelling appointment, but I'm worried about us being unschoolers, co-sleepers and so on...
Yet I'm not sure how to help her cope. She's been insisting that she wants to keep every little thing she now owns, in boxes in the basement, forever. When it started, she said she only wanted to keep her special things, and i told her that was fine. She seemed relieved, but then it escalated to her wanting to keep everything. She cries about it daily. She says she loves her belongings so much.
During one of the moves, 7 months ago, we tossed out her old winter boots--too small, too stinky, with holes. I dind't think much of it. She was upset at the time, but they wouldn't fit into the suitcase, it was sandal weather, and it was not an item I would have kept anyway. Though I do understand that discarding them in the same time as the move from the place she loved, was a bad idea, I had no idea how this issue would grow. If I knew, I would have carried them in my teeth!
She used to talk about them almost weekly. Now it is almost daily, and she cries too. About her love for the boots. I apologised for tossing them out. I acknowledged that I understood her feelings. This seemed to only intensify her sadness.
Now she also has a bunk bed that doesn't fit into the new house. It currently occupies one of the rooms downstairs, but upstairs, where the kids' rooms are, the ceiling is lower. She cries about this bed almost daily, not wanting to sell it. We need to sell it so that we have the money to build a loft bed for her. We already built a lovely loft for her brother. She likes it, she wants the same. And yet she won't agree to selling the bed--she cries and cries.
I don't know how to help her cope, or how to cope with this myself.
On one hand, I could let her have her room downstairs, while DS is upstaris, and move the masterbedroom into the attic area. This way she can keep her bed. But the whole set-up is not very convenient for the house hold, and I selfishly was looking forward to having this room as an office. I was also looking forward to the toy free downstairs, in a few years, with all the kids upstairs. For many reasons I'm not happy with her having her bedroom / toys downstairs, but maybe I should give up.
I could basically lie her that I will keep all of her belongings in boxes, and hope that this issue will pass, but I'm worried I'd be encouraging something very unhealthy.
I suggested we take a photo of every item she has, and write something about it, and create an album--she cries only more. I suggested we find a charity she likes to donate too--she is not keen on this idea either. Selecting only the most special things--more crying.
I'm on the verge of scheduling a councelling appointment, but I'm worried about us being unschoolers, co-sleepers and so on...
