How much travel for work is too much in your opinion? - Page 3

[That Is Nice]

Originally Posted by Barbie64g

Bolded mine.

No, DH would not support a $10 an hour job at night or on the weekends. He wouldn't accept that. He would not leave me alone.

And I'd hear about how I'm not career oriented, I'm wasting my time, I'm not contributing, I'm not doing anything with my life. On and on.

As for DH's attitude about being a provider, it's the laziness side of him. The unmotivated side. It's easier for him if I have a good job, if I have a good career. It's a back up for him, and takes the pressure off of him.

As I said, I know many people in DH's same field, and nearly the same position where they do provide for their families. DH and I discussed this this past weekend. It was a conversation about the promotional opportunities where he works and I was trying to convince him it would be good to apply or express interest in the openings.

No. He's not interested. With just a little more work and effort, DH could provide for us well. That's been the case all along.

My sister-in-law once said of DH if he's going to be at work so much anyway, then at least make it worthwhile. Her husband (DH's brother) is the provider for their family and she is a SAHM. DH's brother has a nearly identical degree, but has a way different career path.

But that's neither here nor there, I guess. ...except that I wonder where DH's attitude and outlook comes from. His own mother was a SAHM for many years (most of DH's childhood). His sister-in-law and brother have the same model - he works, she is a SAHM.

He says he would never have married my sister in law because she was never interested in a career.

It makes me so incredibly sad that I married DH and that he can't see the difference in how a woman might feel once she has kids.

He pointed out this weekend that women he works with came back to work after 6 weeks of maternity leave. They were back at work 6 weeks after giving birth. I said that isn't a model and we should feel sorry for them and that I bet they didn't choose that. DH said you do what you have to do.

...except sometimes you do what you have to do means the husband steps up or the wife finds another job that works for their family. It doesn't always mean you just stick with whatever crummy situation you have. You do what you have to do by making changes for the better.