Help! My 4 mo is turning me into a co-sleeper against my will

[Truckerdoo]

We had been doing so well with sleeping - a few weeks ago I had him sleeping in his crib for a 4 hour stretch, waking up for a 15 minute feed, then back down for 3 hours.

But the last couple weeks he has been so hard to put down after that first wake - he squirms and wiggles and wakes himself up crying. The only way I can get him to sleep is if I get up out of bed and bounce him - but then *I* am wide awake and can't get back to sleep for over an hour!

The solution has been that I bring him into bed w/ me to nurse so that way I stay drowsy - but then he ends up in bed w/ me! And it gets pushed back each night....last week we could make it until 4 a.m. w/o him needing to be brought in bed w/ me....then it was 330, then 3, then 2...until last night it was 11p.m.

I don't want to be a co-sleeper! I can't stretch out how I want and baby wiggles too much. Any suggestions?!

[akind1]

as far as getting him back in his crib, no, not any. but I have found - ds is same age as yours, I think - that I can stretch out how I want now that DS is older and bigger so long as I keep DS between DH and I (and I keep a hand on DH to know where he is) or between me and a bolster on the edge of the bed. Granted he is not squirmy at all, once he's asleep, but I am, and I found this the hardest part of co-sleeping. but since he's bigger and I have a better sense of where he is when I'm sleeping, it has gotten easier to do.

You may find that he stops waking for that feeding. DS kind of mumbles a little around 3 or 4, sometimes will wake to eat, but more often just drifts back to sleep before I wake up enough to lift him into bed to nurse (he's in the co-sleeper).

[cristeen]

Sounds like typical 4 mo sleep regression. As for how to get him back in the crib, I'm afraid I can't help with that. I did resolve the stretching out thing by keeping him in bed with me and he gets his half and I get my half. That way he can squirm a lot without disturbing me, and I can get up and pee without disturbing him. I haven't slept with my DH in 6 mos, babe and I are in the guest room.

My best recommendation would be to work on your own sleep techniques. They'll serve you well as a mother. You can't really do anything about his.

[texmati]

we got a king bed.

I don't know how to boot the little one out. I started cosleeping when I learned to nurse sidelying around the same time I went to work.

Now ds is 6 months, and we all get so much more sleep. He now wakes only twice a night (starts off in his hammock, and the moves to my bed half way through, wakes once in the morning.) No advice, except to just roll with it.

[4Blessings]

Learn to love co-sleeping! They are only little for such a short time.

At some point I decided that a little bit of give on my own comfort during the night was worth it to have a sleeping baby.

[Norasmomma]

Sounds like you have a 4 month old and that you need a king bed or an Arms reach co-sleeper. As for stretching out and sleeping with a 4 month old in the house, I'm sorry but that makes me chuckle.

I SWORE I'd never co-sleep, that is until I had an emergency c/s with DD, couldn't go upstairs until I felt a bit better and her crib was up there. Plus DD was up every 2-3 hours like clock work.....I became a reformed anti co-sleeper. It sounds like you are heading that way, even if you don't want to.

I'd say for me whatever gets me rest, makes me a better mom. With DD that was co-sleeping, and now with DS, it's a non-issue.

[maptome]

Originally Posted by Proud2BeAnAmerican

Learn to love co-sleeping! ...

I agree. You'll get used to it and start being able to get comfortable and ignore the wiggles. Cosleeping makes nightwaking so much easier, whether they are short or long in duration, IMO.

[jdg]

Could you sidecar the crib to your bed? Take one side off the crib, shove the crib against the wall, and then shove your bed up against the crib? Then when LO wakes up, you can pull him towards you to nurse and when nursing is done (or when you wake up later in the night after falling asleep nursing) you can gently move him back into his crib.

[Drummer's Wife]

I vote for gettig a King sized bed. It won't be forever.

[tzs]

i was also forced into cosleeping against my will, albeit at a much younger age so i don't have much advice but i feel you. i worked really hard to get her into a crib and in those situations where we occasionally share a bed...i still don't like it.
have you tried a paci in the crib? it works for the tough times with us. the sidecar suggestion sounds great too.
sorry not much help...just wanted to let you know there are others out there that can;t sleep with a babe in the bed.

[hakeber]

Originally Posted by jdg

Could you sidecar the crib to your bed? Take one side off the crib, shove the crib against the wall, and then shove your bed up against the crib? Then when LO wakes up, you can pull him towards you to nurse and when nursing is done (or when you wake up later in the night after falling asleep nursing) you can gently move him back into his crib.

This is what I would suggest.

Also, do you have all other sleep aids in place? DS was swaddled super tight at 4 months and would NOT sleep for love nor money without the hairdrier on high (cool setting) next to his crib. He also slept better if he had a paci, and we block fed closer to bed time, which was about 9/10pm.

But then he would not sleep in my bed, he'd fuss every Ten minutes, and kick us, and we had a super king…he’d roll over to us and kick his little feet and then scowl at you like you had interrupted his rest.

[LyndsayMW]

I second the sidecarring suggestion. I also don't want to co-sleep, particularly, but night after night I find myself with the baby in bed with me... so we made the crib into a sidecar. DS and I fall asleep snuggling, but we are each in our own bed. When DS falls deeply asleep, I shift him closer to the middle of his crib, and I get my part of DH/my king bed to myself. It is way better than the co-sleeper because we are on the same level - no lifting, just shifting. (ha ha). When he wakes up in the night, I just sling a boob over to him, and go back to sleep. We both sleep much better.

[texmati]

I just wanted to add-- my mom always suggests putting ds on a folded blanket or something like it.

Not only to catch pee leaks, but so I can drag the baby by the blanket towards me or away from me. Perhaps something like that would help.

I'm looking for solutions for my little kicker right now as well.

[Quinalla]

I have done a little bit of cosleeping, right now she has been doing great in the crib, but my big thing is I always put her down for the night in the crib to start. Then I try to put her in the crib again, but if it isn't flying and I need sleep I will try the mini-pack-n-play next to the bed and then just cosleep if needed. I don't get good sleep cosleeping either, but it is better than no sleep

But yeah, making sure she always goes down in the crib at night first at least gives her the opportunity to sleep longer there which the past week and a half she has been doing great. No change on my part, I think she just was figuring something out during the wake up a lot and not stay asleep well week and must have finally gotten it!