Trying to make progress

[DirtRoadMama]

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[*MamaJen*]

Okay, I'm going to be honest.
It's great that you're thinking about getting a roommate. But if I were a single mom thinking about moving into your house, and I did, and I later found out that you had an ex that you were thinking about getting back together with, and he had physically broken in to your (and now my) locked house after you had broken up with him...well, I would be pretty furious. You're saying that your house is safe, but if you have an ex who criminally trespassed and is still in the picture to some degree, then your house is not a safe space. I would be really angry that I brought my infant into that space and was told it was safe.
Having escaped an emotionally and borderline physically abuse relationship myself, I think I might take it more seriously than some. But if your ex is still in the picture, he's a risk to anyone else in your house. It's not fair to put a single mother in that situation without full disclosure.
Here are some things you've said about your partner:
"I felt he was becoming unsafe, and he was threatening me."
"I'm facing up to the fact that he is verbally abusive, and has full potential to be physically abusive if the road we were on didn't change."
"It's the three days of calm followed by the fourth day spent being cranky and then being mean that is scary."
"He says he is an alcoholic."
"The driver didn't mention that it looked like a door was kicked in, so I'm assuming there was an unlocked window somewhere."

When I was in my abusive situation, I spent a lot of time minimizing how bad it was, which I think might be what you're doing. Now that I'm out, I can clearly see that it was dangerous. My ex was seriously unstable and could have easily gotten drunk or high and flipped out. As it was, he did years of emotional damage that I'm still trying to unravel.

[DirtRoadMama]

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