kindergarten - separate classes?

[seemfrog]

I know this question has been tossed around before...
We've begun looking into our local kindergarten for the boys and the first thing they told DH is that they separate twins to encourage (assure) independence.
My boys are fraternal and have quite oposite personalities. They get along really well most of the time at home, but at their preschool do not play together much. One likes to run with the bigger kids, very physical and large muscle activities, the other hangs out with the girls or smaller boys mostly and enjoys more quiet activities. When a "bully" kid was bothering the smaller ds, the larger ds told us he "protected" him, which we thought was sweet...
I guess I feel like there are more positive reasons to keep them together (new school, new situation, new friends, support, keep them emotionallly close, etc) than negative concerns with independence since they migrate to different activities/friends already.
One other possible negative to keeping them together is that the smaller ds is very good at sitting still, listening, memorizing and very into letters and such, so he appears to be the "ideal" student, while his brother, who we consider to be very mature emotionally, has a different approach to learning, likes to figure things out himself, tendancy towards "getting into mischief" - so if a teacher were comparing the two (which tends to happen with twins) that could be an issue.

How have you made decisions like these?
thanks for your thoughts.

[maddymama]

Hi Mama,
I'm a twin and my parents separated us in school, which was awesome. We were/are fraternal twins, much as you described your twins. One nice thing is that I was always thought of as "Maddymama" and not "twin A" by my teachers. We were always together in PE, art, and music classes, as well as lunch times and recess, as our classes always took them together... so we weren't as separate as you might think. I don't know how your local elementary schedules it. I think it was good to be on my own, make my own friends, have my own special moments in school that were MINE, and mine alone. As a twin we alredy share so much that a few moments of independence were treasured.
In extracurriculars (swimming, dance, etc.) I was alway one of a pair, never as much of an independent individual. That was good at times, but hard at others.
Good luck making this hard decision,
~maddymama

[Red Pajama]

No matter what you decide, it should be your decision. Not the school's "policy" that dictates what happens. I intend to keep my twins together as the default until something compels us to separate them. (now is a good time to point out that this decision is delayed a bit, as I'm homeschooling for at least kindergarten, and probably beyond that a year or two)

I've taught for over 10 years, and twins in a classroom is really no big thing, unless the teacher makes it one. My reasons for wanting them together are for the social support, as well as having similar homework assignments, similar class projects, similar field trips. I cannot imagine keeping up with two different teacher's expectations, procedures, and policies at the same grade level. It probably wouldn't be that big of a thing, but I can't see making something harder than it has to be.

[klocke]

My twins aren't here yet so I can't speak from personal experience but I spoke to my aunt about this recently. She is an identical twin and she was in separate classes from her sister all through school. She told me that she recommends keeping the kids in different classes and she really enjoyed have some time to herself. I plan on having the kids in different classes but mine are boy/girl so not quite the same situation as yours.

[MeepyCat]

I'm a twin too, and I also really enjoyed being in different classes than my sister.

My experience makes me see the way you describe your sons as twins staking out different territories. One is "the quiet one", the other is "the active one". There's nothing wrong with either of those attributes, but it might be that, given some space and time apart, your quiet boy might be more comfortable experimenting with being active and your active boy might be more careful and quiet.

Being apart from my sister for part of the day did not diminish our emotional closeness. I actually think it was easier for us to be close because we had some time in which we weren't stepping on each others toes.

[hergrace]

I am separating my trio for school next year. They are trizygotic and very different. They play completely independently at their one room preschool. Even so, the teachers call them the triplets and mix up their backpacks more often than I like. I had always intended to have them together for one year of preschool and then separate them.The closer we get to the end of the year, the more strongly I feel about it.

In particular, DD is very aware of the fact that DS3 is ahead of her on prereading and math skills and she lets him lead all of the activities we do in that area. I want her to find out her own strengths (of which she has many) rather than being conscious of his strengths.

My MZ nieces are 5 and were separated this year after being together for preschool. The "quieter" one has really come out from her sister's shadow this year. It has been great to see.

[MCatLvrMom2A&X]

Originally Posted by Red Pajama

No matter what you decide, it should be your decision. Not the school's "policy" that dictates what happens. I intend to keep my twins together as the default until something compels us to separate them. (now is a good time to point out that this decision is delayed a bit, as I'm homeschooling for at least kindergarten, and probably beyond that a year or two)

I've taught for over 10 years, and twins in a classroom is really no big thing, unless the teacher makes it one. My reasons for wanting them together are for the social support, as well as having similar homework assignments, similar class projects, similar field trips. I cannot imagine keeping up with two different teacher's expectations, procedures, and policies at the same grade level. It probably wouldn't be that big of a thing, but I can't see making something harder than it has to be.

to the bolded. Twins here are not put in separate classes and they do just fine.

[Freeman]

Originally Posted by Red Pajama

My reasons for wanting them together are for the social support, as well as having similar homework assignments, similar class projects, similar field trips. I cannot imagine keeping up with two different teacher's expectations, procedures, and policies at the same grade level. It probably wouldn't be that big of a thing, but I can't see making something harder than it has to be.

This is really something I am going to consider when the time comes (I have lots of time -- my twins are really just twinfants!) I have a kindergartner right now, and he is doing all kinds of projects and homework assignments all*the*time. Many require interaction/input from a parent. By the time my twins are in kindergarten, I will have 2 older children in 2 different grades, too. It just seems easier from a practical standpoint to have them in the same class. I don't want to disregard personality differences when the time comes, but unless there is a compelling reason to separate them, I am leaning towards keeping them together.

[chaimom]

My twin boys are almost finished with 2nd grade and sound very similar to the OP's. They're very compatible, but very different from each other. They actually asked to be separated in pre-k, but I didn't do it. In K, I did separate them, and it was a good thing. The boys need their own best friends and their own unique experiences during the day, which allows them to come together at the end of the day and share their experiences. They have different favorite activities and they should be allowed to explore that without the subtle pressure of knowing that others are watching and comparing. My boys almost never fight. But last summer, when I had them in the same summer camps and they were together all the time, it wasn't a good dynamic-- lots of bickering and goading. So, if you're leaning toward separating, I would give it a try.

[omelette]

As a former Kindergarten teacher we always let twins do the Kindergarten yr together for reason like you said - new school, new situation, etc. Also, Kindergarten was half days so for ease on the parents to for drop off/pick-up.
After their Kindergarten yr we would sit down with the parents and then decide what to do for Gr1. This way the teacher new the kids and good give valuable input as to what they thought would be best; we would also sometimes see different interactions then the parents saw at home. The final decision was up to the parents but I think the teachers input was important in making that decision.
If you want them together for their K yr then you have every right to keep them together and then maybe explore the option of different classes the following yr.

[LoisLane]

We're planning to keep our MZ girls together for K next fall and then will decide each year after that. They will have the teacher my older DS had -- a very wonderful, experienced teacher -- I think having a year to see what happens, to get used to the whole school routine and classroom and all of that, and to then decide (with her input) will be good. Plus, it's only half days, and the thought of one going in the morning and one in the afternoon would make me a crazy person!

Like so many things, I think it all depends, on the children, the time in their life, the teachers, the family and more. Letting parents make decisions (with input from teachers if available) is the best way, IMO -- not a blanket "we always separate" or "we always keep together" policy.

Good luck! What a new adventure this will be!

[magentamomma]

We homeschooled for kindergarten so we did not have to face ths at that age, but in 4th grade when we finally sent the girls to school they were sepersted and it was the best possible thing for them. They are fraternal and very different and it allowed them to shine on there own in each class. If they had been together the comparisons would have been hard on my less outgoing daughter, and she would have felt invisible. I am so glad for the experience for them.

[sugarmoon]

I have "fake twins" (my dd is adopted, but she and my ds are only 6 wks apart in age), and they have always been together, through 3 pre-k classes and now in kindy, due to being in schools with only one class per grade. Mine are like what you describe, very different people, and all their teachers have said that they really don't play together much at school. However, whenever I ask them about it (at one point we had a situation where I thought I would have the option to split them for kindy), they are both really adamant that they want to be together.

They like having each other there as back up, and as continuity, I think. In fact, one year my 3 oldest kids were all in pre-k together and they, and I, loved it....

[DiannaK]

I feel like it should be a parent's decision, and not the school 'policy'. I will be putting my boys in Mother's Day Out next fall, and was horrified when the director asked me how I 'felt about putting them in separate rooms'. I quickly told her absolutely not.

Maybe I was just being overly emotional, but it just evokes such a visceral response in me. My boys have been together since their egg split -- why separate them now, if there is no need.

[dknees]

I do think it should be your decision, based on your feelings on the matter. School policy should have nothing to do with it. I think they will have plenty of time later on to be split up, so keeping them together for kindergarten should not be a big deal. I am planning to keep mine together for preschool and possibly kindergarten.