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Free Play Daycare Issues - Page 2

post #21 of 77
Originally Posted by Liquesce View Post
Alphabets don't kill children. Street access, stoned care providers with, by the rest of the description, plausibly badly supervised children in open water, and improper car seat use all do. Honestly I'm not seeing anything but a no brainer here.
um, yeah. yikes!
post #22 of 77
Originally Posted by Liquesce View Post
Alphabets don't kill children. Street access, stoned care providers with, by the rest of the description, plausibly badly supervised children in open water, and improper car seat use all do. Honestly I'm not seeing anything but a no brainer here.
Um... WTH is this even a question?
post #23 of 77
So the day care worker was burning down while she was in the tub with your kid? Wow. Now that's what I call radical.
post #24 of 77
I have never heard of a daycare center where kids and adults get naked together. That in itself would be enough to have me pull my kid out immediately. I really doubt that the things they are doing follow the city codes. I think you should go with a more regulated place. Has this place even passed their health and safety inspection and been licensed? I really don't think that they are following the state or local child care standards/codes.
post #25 of 77
Holy moly! I've worked in daycare and preschool for well over a decade now and this description curls my toes. I have to agree, why on earth is this even a question? Mama, do not take your children back there. This is not okay, this is not okay, THIS IS NOT OKAY. I can't say that enough. Getting NAKED with your child?! Smoking pot while in charge of your CHILDREN? Children able to access a busy street and with no outdoor supervision? Mama, they are playing you and your children are paying the price.
post #26 of 77
There are so many things wrong with the description of this place I have to wonder if it's a joke. Seriously, pot and taking baths with your child????? Come on mama!!! I'd be in jail if some adult other than DH or I took a bath with my kid!
post #27 of 77
Originally Posted by Minaret View Post
\Also, one day they took my daughter in their car without my permission, in her car seat without the base.

Another time, I was quite sure one of them was smoking pot while having a bath with my DD

Also kids have escaped the enclosed fenced area several times and there is a street nearby where cars go at least 35 mph
I surely hope that tomorrow morning you are not taking your children back here. This is nuts, mama.

Listen- I work in a daycare. Yes, we have "academics", starting in the 1 year old room. But what exactly does that mean? For us it means that every week we have a new "lesson". We just finished the alphabet (different letter every week) and are now working on spring themed ones. Each day have a different project for the children to do, different books to read that fall under the theme of the week, etc. Do we force any of the kids (at any age) to sit still and drill facts into them? Not a chance! Even in our oldest room (which is mostly kids who will be going to Kindergarten in the fall) we don't do that. We offer the information, we make it fun (in our bug week we do lots of fun things revolving around bugs, for instance). It's not work or anything like that! Even if the child doesn't want to do the project, it's never forced (but I almost never have a child who doesn't want to do it, since they are FUN!).

I would chose an "academic daycare" where I felt my children were safe over the situation you described in an instant.
post #28 of 77
Thread Starter 
Okay, I just spent one hour sending an update, and now it won't let me post! ACK!

I've decided to continue at this daycare--am I crazy? There are some explanations, but since my long response didn't post and I'm at work at the end of the day, I will have to try again later, probably tomorrow.

I don't know where my post went....

post #29 of 77
I've decided to continue at this daycare--am I crazy?
OK from the OP the things your described I am not going to say your are crazy but I have to wonder at your though process on this one. I honestly dont know how you could sleep at night knowing the danger your child could possibly be in at this "day care" Maybe your explanation later might shed some light on this decision.
post #30 of 77
"They don't really believe that the kids have to be watched while they are in the backyard; that they are fine on their own, and there have now been enough small "near misses" and minor accidents with the kids that I think there will be a major accident there someday and I don't want it to be my kid."

Licensing, at least in NY state, would not allow for unsupervised play time, especially outdoors. Children are to be in direct line of sight at all times until school age, where they can be in indirect or momentary out of sight for brief periods. (which to me, means doing head counts every few minutes and checking to see where everybody is)

Had to comment on this and now off to read the other posts.
post #31 of 77
I read this post a few days ago but didn't get a chance to respond. I have had two of my three kids in daycare and what you described would make me very uncomfortable. There is no way this "daycare" would meet state requirements. It would be shut down if it were state licensed. The sharp trim that your DS hit his head on, taking your DD in a car without your permission (although using an infant seat without a base may or may not be unsafe), smoking pot (really? Someone would really leave their children with someone who smokes pot while watching the kids? Seriously?), giving the child a bath (uhhh....that's just weird; no that wouldn't be OK with me unless the person watching my children was a relative), kids escaping near the road, and just about every other thing you mentioned.

A traditional daycare may seem like it's not a good fit for you, but it really does seem like a better place for children than where you are at now. Traditional daycare does not mean that strangers ignore the children all day. Of course, there are bad traditional daycares so if you do choose one, research and ask around to other parents. In the end, trust you first gut feeling. I've had two of my three kids in daycare and my first gut mommy feeling has always been the most accurate. My kids have been in a less than stellar daycare and my gut instinct was to remove them and I was proven correct.
post #32 of 77
Thread Starter 
Hi, just a quick note before I leave work to explain some stuff--I had a 3 hour talk with the main caregiver at the daycare. Yes, she is very solid about her beliefs, but she did concede that it wasn't good to take DD in the car seat. (I later found out that she tried to put her in the front seat and turn off the airbag and couldn't, so she put her in the back and I hope it was rear facing). However, she will never do that again or be allowed to take her somewhere.

My DD loves baths, absolutely jumps up and down, and since this is like a second home to her, I really trust this lady giving her a bath, naked and all. However, I do not trust her smoking pot while doing so. My DH is now questioning whether I really smelled "pot" but I have a good nose. This is because when I went to see her yesterday, she had incense burning and it was very different that the previous smell. I don't know if this was to cover up something, but I definitely feel I can tell the difference. I don't smoke (I have in the past) and know what it smells like. Besides, I'm fairly certain I saw a joint near the bathtub. What if she totally denies it and says it was incense? I am quite certain they smoke pot in their off time, but this lady is usually not "out of it" and so I was shocked when I thought this was happening. This is the only concern I haven't confronted her about and I'm going to, but I'm afraid with how she will respond. I'm 99% sure.

She agreed to make a higher gate at the front entrance, she still stands by the kids playing "independently" in the backyard with it being fenced in. I realize that this allows the kids to play longer outside, because they don't have someone watching constantly, but it is also risker. A few kids escaped about two years ago, and after that, she put up a better gate, but its still easy for kids to escape the front yard if they wanted to. There is not even a lock on the front door--I guess from the start, you have to be okay with that "kind" of place. It's a small town and a wealthy community, there are lots of Montessori's that are much more expensive. Regarding the escaping, I told her that kids are unpredictable. Just because they haven't escaped before, doesn't mean their behavior won't change. Our DS escaped one night out the front door in his socks in winter--to the neighbors house while DH was putting DD to bed. This was a big shock to us. At the daycare, he gets "privileges" to go outside by himself. Overall, when I look back on it, there haven't been any serious injuries--but is that just luck?

When my DS hit the trim after falling off the slide--apparently this was seen by the caregiver and he hit the mattress at the bottom first and then turned his head and hit the trim. It sure seemed like a good indentation for a slight bump, but...this last time a child whacked him by accident with a small bulb planting trowel, and they said it couldn't have been prevented (I don't believe anyone was outside with them). He came inside bleeding profusely, but in the end it was a small cut that didn't require stitches. My DH went balistic and that's when this whole thing started. Now he's willing to take them back.

This is like an extended family, my kids love it there, and they have helped us in many other areas. (We don't have many friends--its a rather tight community and seems difficult to make new friendships), so we do love and trust these folks for our kids emotional health, but whether they are physically safe is another question... They are not pediphiles, I know that. They do have a license, and they cook all healthy meals for the kids, sing and read to them at bedtime, all kind of good stuff, but is it safe enough that I don't have to worry about them? I don't know--I don't feel completely safe, but then does anyone? I wish I could be with my children and not work full time.
I am going to confront her about the other issues, but I basically told her most of my concerns. She begged me to keep them there and felt that my DD would not get an enriching experience at my neighbor (she only speaks spanish) which would be important with her potential learning disabilities. But I would like to of course have her safe. I took DD to my neighbor this morning and she cried and cried, it was heart breaking.

For now, I've decided to take my DS there. On a side note, he has broken his leg twice in freak accidents--but not at this daycare. One was with my next door neighbor (the one who does not speak english or know CPR/First Aid) and one was on my watch (a freak accident while running in our backyard).
So our DS is accident prone and the caregiver at the daycare said she raised three kids without a broken bone and they turned out fine and good citizens because of this "free play" concept. I think she goes a little overboard on this concept, because she feels like it is the end all if they don't have this type of experience before they go to kindergarten. Actually, they have about 14 other kids, some are teachers who take their kids there, some are homeopathic doctors believe it or not! All of them have really liked the daycare, but also have the same safety concerns as me. No body has pulled their kids out--but a few have gone part-time elsewhere and part time there.
More later. I've got to get home and show the responses from Mothering Mamas to my DH. Last week, I knew in my gut that I didn't want to take them there--but then I have such a hard time making changes, even when it feels unsafe. I went Friday to another daycare that was really great and has the more learning type of schedule, and all of these kids where so mellow. They weren't running amok like my kid. His behavior was really embarrassing. It always seems like other kids are better behaved, maybe because they have more structure in their daycare. I just don't know what to do.

post #33 of 77
I dunno, even with your update, I'm pretty dang sure I'd be finding someone else to watch the kids.

A commercial daycare center actually sounds a lot more appealing than this 'free love' place.
post #34 of 77
These day care workers have it easy. Just smoking weed and letting the kids run around outside by themselves and tossing them in a car (probably for a Taco Bell run in all honesty) w/o having to bother with strapping them into a carseat.

Now I am beginning to wonder if all of my stoner friends are running a day care center and not telling me about, lol.
post #35 of 77
But it all seriousness, this situation sounds really dangerous. And it's not even the smoking - go outside and light up and come back, no big deal. Plenty of people can smoke and take care of children just fine (some of the angry mothers I've seen NEED to, I think). But one has to be responsible. And letting small children play outside unsupervised and allowing small children in cars without the proper restraints is not responsible.

I am sorry you can't stay home with your kids. Every mother should have that right and it's utter shite that you don't! I hope you can find a laid back center that's also safe.
post #36 of 77
I have a daycare in my home. It's not as fun as yours, and I wish it was.

I have worn out the books by Bev Bos And, I love her concepts.

I let the daycare kids go outside without me.

I let them do things and climb things and jump off of things that most daycare providers won't.

Kids fall and get hurt. You can't pad everything. Kids need to learn to navagate the world eventually.

But, MOST of what you are saying is more than scary to me. I don't care if most people think that pot should be legal. It's not legal. Adults just can't risk breaking a law when they are taking care of children. It's irresponsible to say the least. I have no respect for anybody who breaks the law (even if they disagree with that law) and even less respect for someone who breaks the law when they are in charge of children.
*I know you said you THINK, you don't have proof... but, if it's true, that shows a huge lack of common sense.

Taking an infant in a car without the proper base would really upset me. Unless it's an emergency, there can't be a good reason for that.

When you say "getting out of the gate" Do you mean getting off the property? I am all for giving kids freedom, but if they can leave the property, That is a freedom they would never have. I let my kids outside, but it's a seven foot block wall, and there is no way they could get out of the daycare playyard.

I think I'd be willing to let the accidents slide. Bumps and bruises are part of being a kid. But, smoking pot, and being able to get off the property would be deal breakers for me.

Otherwise, it sounds like an awesome place!!! I'd give anything to have a daycare just like that.
post #37 of 77
Sorry Minaret, keeping your kids at this place does sound crazy to me.
post #38 of 77
Originally Posted by nextcommercial View Post
I have no respect for anybody who breaks the law (even if they disagree with that law)
So you must think Harriet Tubman was just awful hey?
post #39 of 77
There is no way I would leave my young child anywhere where they were unsupervised and could escape. The potential for serious injury and getting lost is much much to high for me. Plus if CPS found out you knowingly sent your child to a place where they engaged in illegal activities (pot smoking) couldn't that be very very bad?
post #40 of 77
I am probably one of the most laid-back parents around and I wouldn't leave my DS at that place from your description.

Young children need to be supervised. Yeah, okay, in your own yard I could see letting DS be outside by himself or with friends but my DS is four and even in our own yard, I still check on him every few minutes. You mentioned they felt the "kids" could be outside unsupervised; does that include your 12 mth old DD who is probably tasting just about anything she can put in her mouth right now, thereby risking a potential choking?

Incidentally, NO WAY would ANYBODY be smoking dope and bathing my kid. Pot slows your reaction times (not to mention being illegal); what if your DD slipped under the water? Are you really willing to gamble with her life because that is what you are doing by keeping her there?
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