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I am lost. (updated) - Page 5

post #81 of 93
Hey there! I am so very sorry that you have had to bury your precious, little girl. I wanted to suggest to you a website of someone who understands how you feel. It is by a mother of 9, whom has had to bury three of her children.


I hope this is a comforting place for you to find encouragement!

post #82 of 93
hugs are not enough mama, I am so sorry for your loss. I hope those memories of her happiness will stay with you forever.
post #83 of 93
i thank you for sharing your story. What a beautiful spirit both you and Megan have.

I am so sorry for your loss.
post #84 of 93
Thread Starter 
I forgot about you wonderful ladies. I finally found my way back and I see that my thread is still being posted on and it just made my heart smile. I just wanted to post a little update and then I'm going to save you again to my favorites and hopefully start posting here more often so I can get to know you again.

Life is hard. I'm ok, we are ok. I say this every single day.
I miss Megan so much. Today is 200 days. Can you imagine? 200 days since I got to hold my toddler in my arms. My heart aches for her and her kisses and hugs.

I recently experienced a missed miscarriage. What an awful experience. I've never had a miscarriage before and the whole pregnancy I just thought something was wrong. Kept assuming it was from my grief and the doom that wont seem to leave but turns out that it was bad feelings because the baby died 3 weeks before. I found out when I was 11 weeks, so close to that special first trimester mark. Ironic though, saying oh so close to the first trimester mark, people say the same thing about their kids finally hitting that one year mark. But they still die don't' they.

My 6 year old is in first grade and is doing so well, she amazes me everyday. Thank you for prayers and reading my story
post #85 of 93
hugs mama, I think of you often. It's good to hear how you're doing

do you know that you can "subscribe" to this thread and then you get an email every time that someone writes a new post?
post #86 of 93
I'm so sorry for your loss. I recently lost my 4 mo old, so I know the pain you are feeling. It's just not fair :'(
post #87 of 93
Thread Starter 

i have recently had a couple people ask me how I am doing.

I figured I would throw in a little update.

I am still lost but slowly finding myself again. 

I'm still blogging quite often, you can find my blog here http://mamajamajenny.blogspot.com/ or just search for "megan sudc blog"and you will find us that way. 


Life is hard without her but I'm healing as well.

Im currenlty 20 weeks pregnant, after a missed miscarriage in Sept 2010 and another in December 2010.   Due again, in September, quite possibly on Megan's due date.

Husband is stil home thankfully.  Emily is thriving and loves school.  She has her moments and they are the hardest to deal with.  Explaining to a 6 year old why you don't really know why shes the only that has lived is not a fun conversation.  Everything is hard but I'm trying.  Its been over a year.  I miss her just as much as I did then, that will never stop. 

Learnign to accept this pain so you can move on, learning that can live again and learning that the guilt does ease up is some of the hardest lessons i have ever learned. 

So thats it, we are still here, still alive. Always hurting but healing as well.

Thank you to those who thought to write and see how I am :)

post #88 of 93

Jennifer - I just read your story and I am so very, very sorry for your loss of your precious daughter. Your family will remain in my thoughts and prayers for healing peace, and a healthy pregnancy.

post #89 of 93

I wish I could send you some healing, and peace, and to all those who have lost their children. 

post #90 of 93

My prayers and blessings go out to you and your family.

post #91 of 93

I just wanted to tell you that I read your blog. I am so very very sorry for the loss of your beautiful daughter.  I am also so very happy to see that you have a new little one!! And I am glad to know that Emily is doing well..of course she is with such a loving mother.  I want you to know that I have stopped making mountains out of molehills because of you.  I will cherish motherhood.

post #92 of 93

I read your blog long before finding you here, as well. I think of you and Megan often when I am putting my daughter down for her nap. Many blessings for you, mama, and for the beautiful spirit of your lovely daughter, Megan.

post #93 of 93

i want to say i am sorry for the losses you have went thru and i am glad you are doing better and have a new baby on the way

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