Boy/Girl Twin Dynamic

[Freeman]

I have infant B/G twins....also two older boys (5 and 2). What is your experience with the relationship between b/g twins? Do they play together a lot, or do they tend to gravitate toward siblings of the same gender? Are they good friends as they get older (school-age & teenage years, etc)...? Just wondering whether the boy twin will be close with his sister or will be closer with brothers, leaving little sis' by herself...Of course, I know this depends on the individual and that there is no set pattern, but I'm just wondering what your experiences are.

[Intertwined]

So far, at age two, they are pretty tight but not as close as some of the same gender twins (especially MZ twins) I know are. Our particular circumstances are that they have two older brothers and two older sisters. I would say Claire gravitates most toward her next closest sister who is 17 months older and Ben gravitates toward his next oldest brother who is 3 years older. However, that being said they do like to spend time playing together, and the little three play together a TREMENDOUS amount.

I think it will probably become more obvious as they get older and want to spend more time doing gender specific stuff. I can't imagine them just never wanting to be around each other though. They're obviously crazy about each other.

[4Marmalade]

My twins aren't quite 2 yet so it's hard to know how things will shake out. Right now they play together pretty regularly. Once in a while my twin dd will play with my oldest dd. But that might be due to dd1 thinking that only girls can play dolls and she encourages it .

[Llyra]

Mine are 3. When it's just them at home with me, they're very close, and play very well together, and seem very concerned about each other and interested in each other. When DD1 (5 1/2) is home, though, mostly they pay more attention, each of them, to her, than they do to each other. I don't see this as a gender issue; it's more of a "she's my HERO" kinda thing.

What I do see is that of the two twins, DS tends to be a little slower developmentally, so it's sometimes hard for him to keep up with what his sisters are playing, which tends to be fairly complex make-believe play, so often the two girls wind up together, and DS sticks by me. He's within normal developmental ranges, but he just seems to move through the social and emotional milestones a little more slowly.

Dunno. I think you could make all the generalizations you want, about averages, etc., but still each individual kid, and each pair of twins, is different, and will have their own dynamic. So I guess it's really hard to say.

[Callimom]

My b/g twins are almost 9.
I have two other kids a 12 y/b and an almost 7 y/o girl so we are balanced gender and age wise - couldn't have planned it better if I had tried.

We homeschool so all the kids are close. My kids all play together in various combinations and it isn't gender or age based. My boy twin seems especially fond of his twin sister but that may be a personality thing rather than a relationship thing as he also dotes on his younger sister. My daughter is very inclusive and makes sure that her twin brother gets included in their friend play but again I think that is her nature and the way we structure our family/friends/education. My twins are proud to be the twins and tell everyone they can.

hth
Karen