How neccessary is a doula for a homebirth?

[Phoenix~Mama]

Or does it vary person to person?

Finacnes are tight, and I'm considering not getting a doula now.

I talked to my MW about this... and she assured me that she'd come as early as I felt I needed her there. And if she couldn't come right out, she'd send her assitant ahead of time who is also a doula.

I actually did labor pretty much on my own for a long time with DD. I kept sending H to go sleep. My parents came over at night to keep me company. But for the most part I just went and did my own thing, laboring around the house and in and out of the shower.

But I see on here often how invaluable a doula was...

So, is it feasible to still have a good homebirth without one?

[CallMeMommy]

I don't think it's required at all. Especially if you've got a supportive partner AND your midwife's assistant is a doula. I was like you with my first and pretty much labored on my own, but in hindsight I'm seeing how one could have been helpful since DH completely froze during the labor and birth and didn't have a clue how to help me. Now that I know what I know, I am getting a doula for this birth. If finances are tight and you *really* want a doula, see about hiring a doula-in-training since, from what I hear, they can't charge until they get their certification. That's what I did this time, it's just a bonus that she happens to be my cousin

[thefreckledmama]

My MW is a also a doula, so she has a great perspective of both sides. She basically said that throughout labor, she and her partner would come be with me as soon as I wanted, and function in a support role, more or less like a doula would. That being said, once it's time for the actual birth, that becomes her focus.

She said while she generally wouldn't say I need to get a doula, I should do whatever I'm comfortable with.

I know there was a thread a while back discussing thing, and it seemed like the general thought was that while doulas are especially helpful for hospital and even birth center births, they generally aren't needed with homebirths, unless the mom really wants one.

I don't think there's really a right or wrong answer. If you want a doula, you should have one, but if it's going to be the source of financial hardship, it's not something you have to do.

[laughingfox]

I had a doula for my last homebirth.
I didn't feel like I really needed one, but I was a first time mom and so many moms told me it was so important, so I had one anyway. I had reservations about her, but couldn't afford another.

I really regret having her there.

If you feel like the extra support would be needed, then certainly you can look for a way to get doula services from someone in your price range, but if you don't find someone who groks you, you're probably better off without.

[leavemealone]

I don't think a doula is ever a necessity and I do think it varies by person. For me, DH tends to be uncomfortable during birth and having a doula there helps him as well as helps me. I have no family in the area, no sisters or SILs, my mother wouldn't be that great during labor, and my close friends think I'm crazy for an HBAC so for me a doula is a "necessity".

However, I would say that having the right doula is more important than having just any doula. I'd rather not have one at all than have one that I didn't feel comfortable around. Different doulas have different personalities, just as different moms have different needs. The one I use is older (in the sense that her kids are grown, not that she is "old" ) and has a calming personality. I know of other doulas who are more "in your face" and that's not what I wanted so I know those doulas would not be a good choice for me.

[Plummeting]

I don't think whether or not one needs a doula is based on birth location. I think it's really a matter of a woman's personality and the dynamics between her and her partner. If you feel you need one or you don't think your partner can be very supportive during labor, then you should get one. If you don't, then you shouldn't. I had a great hospital birth without a doula and a great home birth without a doula. I just didn't want "extra" people around. I had midwives for both the hospital and home birth, and they and DH were more than enough support for me. Of course, my second birth (the home birth) was precipitous (2 hours, 7 minutes from ROM to birth, but less than one full hour actual labor contractions) so there was no one but DH there for all but the last 8 or 10 minutes of it. Maybe that colors my perception, since even if I'd wanted a doula she probably wouldn't have made it, since I didn't think I'd be going into labor soon after my water broke and wouldn't have called right away.

[eastkygal]

For my second, a planned HBAC ending in a hospital transfer, I had a doula. She was irreplaceable to me. When we transferred she was with me. She was with me much of my labor which began at 5pm April 26th and ended at 2:12am April 28th. We were all tired, and it was so helpful to have her there.
However, in this case, since you are a second time mama, and your midwife has an assistant that would act like a doula, I don't know that it would be "necessary". I do recommend having someone there that is just for labor though aside from your partner. It just helps all around, but again not necessary.
When choosing a doula, you should talk to several. See who you mesh with. Think about how they will fit into your birth. I often feel that if someone is attending a birth, they should have a job to do in it. Unless, you are comfortable in a room full of people watching you labor. I'm not, so that might just be me. There are doulas in training that might be free or have a lower fee.
So, in other words... Do what you feel is right for you.

[IAMommy]

It depends on so much. I had my BFF present for my first birth, so she was like a doula, but this time she is far away and will probably not be able to make it in time. Add to that the fact that our DS signs and is non-verbal, I only feel comfortable with my DH caring for him. I am also protective of my birth space, so I can't invite people in that I am uncomfortable with, like my MIL, even if she isn't near me. So, we are hiring a doula so I have someone around for me.

[beckyand3littlemonsters]

i've had 4 home births and never had a doula as couldn't afford one and my birth experiences have been positive.

[briome]

I think a lot depends on what your needs are during birth...It sounds like your MW and her assitant will provide plenty of care. That arrangement worked perfectly for me.
IF this is your first baby you may not know what your needs will be during labor. I think for some people a doula provides consistancy and reassurance in a hospital or birthing center where there might be rotating staff. At home you may not have THAT particular issue but of course there are more things that a doula can help with.
My Husband is not really useful during labor, no fault of his, I just don't like it, and I prefer to have less people around then more. That might be a concern of yours.

I do love doulas but I think your situation could do without one especially if you have a trusted friend or relative there to help with 'house stuff'....answering phones, making sure everyone is fed, getting an item for the MW's etc. I think it is good to leave hubby 'floating' so if you need him he is there. If you DON'T have someone like that I think you should spring for a doula (or even just a postpardum doula)

[sattygirl99]

I hired a doula for my homebirth... We've got 2 smaller children (4 and 14 months, will be 20/21 months when this baby comes) and while grandma will be here, I didn't want daddy to feel torn if one of his children needs HIM.

I'm also unsure as to how he will be in terms of support. I don't mean that to sound bad, just that I know when I labored with DD (VBAC to CBAC at complete and +1 station), he wasn't what I needed him to be. Now this time, he's doing the hypnobabies with me and a very active part of what a homebirth is but I don't want it to all fall on him if he isn't up for that. My doula will only step in as physical support if it's needed, she won't take over for DH. But even the best DH needs a break... whether to eat, go to the bathroom or just take a moment away from everything (Especially in a looong labor) and I want him to feel as though he can say 'hey, I need to go get a drink, can J take over for me for 5 min"...

For us, it's the best choice. But some don't feel they need doula's. I don't have support from my mother (she won't be here because of it) and my MIL is here for my kids, not me. I wanted the strongest support team I could create (I'm having a HBA2C) and for us, that meant a doula.

It's personal and if you don't feel you need one, that's totally fine!!

[flitters]

At our first birth we had me, dh, my best friend, our midwife, and a doula. It was SUCH a huge help to have the doula. I basically wanted someone pushing on my back for about 20 hours straight, so it was great to have her there to give dh a break to do things (like get more towels, fill the tub, boil water, etc). My friend also helped out a lot in the same way, but the extra hands were enormously helpful, especially at the end when things suddenly got really fast after being really slow for so long.

This time around we decided to hire a doula (a student doula, actually) mostly to support ds. Our midwives are a team of 2 and also an apprentice. Were it not for ds, we wouldn't have felt the need this time. Also, if we had family nearby or a friend without small children I was close with, we probably would not have sought a doula, but all things considered, we are very happy with our plan.

[mamamoon2]

I agree that it is totally up to what you "feel" you will need. I do have one suggestion and that would be for you to ask around about how well the midwife and her assistant helped others during the birth. There is one midwife in our area who totally refuses to "let" women have doulas at their HB who "say" she and her assistant will provide all the support they need but, I've heard from many women how she doesn't come to "labor sit" and only comes in good active labor. Many of the couples regretted not using a doula at their births because they felt they needed more emotional and physical support than what the midwife provided. Also, Will your midwife go with you if you transport? Is she comfortable supporting you in the hospital? I would also ask about the assistant...What training has she had? how many births has she attended? Do you "vibe" well with her? Just my 2 cents

[dannic]

I think for my first birth (FSBC) it would have been helpful to have one. My mw brings an assistant and they are more than capable of being supportive if and when I need it (HB). I think a doula would be an unnecessary extra for me. If we were to transfer, my mw would come with us and be our doula there, so that is covered.
I will say that if I had to have a hospital birth, I would so be hiring a doula. And in that case, it would still be my MW as she does this for some.

If I had the money, I would rather spend it on a ppd doula or someone to help with cleaning and cooking.

[LaydieBugs]

It sounds like you're well supported - do you feel well supported?

I wanted to throw my copy of The Birth Partner at the wall because it made it seem like you just don't DO birth without a doula. Unfortunately it seems a lot of the materials these days that otherwise really help a woman have a positive birth experience, use the same scare tactics to encourage doula use, as the hospitals use to encourage drug use.

I think they're great for people who need them because there isn't another solid support person, and for people who need an advocate against the medical establishment ... but I think most people are fine without one.

Especially when you have 2 midwives, one of whom has the skills!

[Phoenix~Mama]

Yes my MW does accompany a hospital transfer as doula support.

I guess I don't know if I really need one... I did do fine on my own last birth. I didn't even really ask H to be around most of the time. I just went off and did my own thing. He became invaluable at the pushing stage and really helped me focus then.

Maybe in part it's my fear because of how troubled our marriage is right now... it wasn't that great when DD was born either, but he really did step up and put my MW in place when she was yelling at me.

My Mom and sister were both present at DD's birth, and I wanted them here again, but my Mom is afraid to watch me labor again because she couldn't take seeing me in pain before. And the whole homebirth thing kind of freaks her out, though she has been asking more questions and hasn't been negative at all. She did say she'd come down as soon as we wanted her to after the birth. She only lives like 5 minutes away and I think she will be a good help as far as house stuff goes.

My sister isn't the most reliable... but if she does decide to come during, I think she would be really good at handling the whole house stuff too...

I'm thinking DD will likely go with my Mom if Mom decides she really doesn't want to be there for the birth part. And if my sister comes, I think that will be good for an extra set of hands to help boil water, heat towels, etc...

I think I will talk to my Mom and sister about their "jobs" soon and see what they say...

[Carson]

Originally Posted by Plummeting

I don't think whether or not one needs a doula is based on birth location. I think it's really a matter of a woman's personality and the dynamics between her and her partner.

That is such a good way to put it. It's so individual. DH and I were really focused on birth prep together, I explained him the role of a doula and he felt ousted... it was great not having one, but that's me and my situation.

[mamabutterfly]

I've been a doula at homebirths, and in general I would just say it really depends, of course many women don't have any reasons to need one at a homebirth- but it's about having the support you can count on, as others have said. There are some great practical ways a doula can be a huge help, being paid to be on call, definitely show up, do every little thing you need without you having to feel bad about asking, etc. But if the finances aren't there, it is probably something you can do without with a supportive MW and assistant there.
As you allude to here, I've seen your write before about your marriage (or lack-there-of) and know you have considered leaving a very negative relationship. To me, that really changes what you will need for your birth to be peaceful, supportive, safe, etc.

I hope by the time the birth goes around you will feel totally comfortable with whatever combo of people you have or don't have with you.

[To-Fu]

We had a doula at our first home birth and will have one at this upcoming one, too.

For us, it was all about my partner and me being able to focus completely on each other and the birthing experience. The doula kept me fed and watered, burned herbs, kept the music and candles going, held the baby while I was being stitched up after, etc. She also had many sessions with us doing some of the exercises in Birthing From Within, which was very helpful to both my partner and me. It was a huge boon having her there!

I think in general, if you have the finances? It can't hurt and it just might help a lot.

[AustinMom]

I haven't read the replies, so sorry if I quote someone else.

We are having a HBAC in Sept, and hired a Doula and MW. Doula don't just deal with position changes and comfort measures. But they are good for another head in the brainstorming.

To me, they are an independent person who solely has on their mind, my comfort emotionally, physically, and mentally, and does not think about the medical side, of heart tones, BP, dilation, etc. It someone who can get on my labor level and labor with me and never have to leave that mind set.

If you are worried about finances, you can hire a Doula who is not charging yet, usually within their first 6 months of practice. They typically do it for free, or compensation for gas only. To find them, you can go to DONA.org, look for Doula trainings in your area (or closest to) and call the trainer and ask them if they know anyone locally who recently trained. That's what I would do. Or contact the local MWs and ask them if they know anyone still "new". Some Doulas also, if they hear your situation will do it for free. Personally, I'm going to do volunteer work throughout my career, and I think most Doulas do the same.